R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Family Reunion

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

This Sunday marks the biggest party of the summer, Summerslam! Normally one of the "Big 4" PPV's, this year's event sort of reeks of "last minute science project." WWE has haphazardly thrown together the card so much that I honestly feel that if they can't do the effort, why should I? So thus, Dolph Ziggler did something to show he's ready for Rey Mysterio and KANE beat up Ranjan Singh, who it turns out is The Great Khali's brother.



No, let's concentrate on the big ticket matches at Summerslam. First off, CM Punk is in a world title TLC match. So what better way to prepare for this match then taking on the man he never beats, John Morrison!

Melina?

Anyway, shock of all shocks, WWE booked a heel in a credible fashion! Punk actually won the match! And not by cheating or nuthin! Just won a hard fought match where both competitors looked strong.

Morrison must be a big fan of Wrestlegasm's "Crotch Watch"

There's a tag title match between Jericho/Big Show and Cryme Tyme. Big Show took on JTG to avenge Jericho's loss last week. It went kinda like this:

It's very subtle

Finally, WWE did the most original booking ever and had their top baby face take on two heels in a handicap match! Wow, what a freaking surprise.

"Are handicap matches so over done they're putting you to sleep, Jeff?"

"Naw man. I was just mixxing alchol with muscle relaxers."

Of course, the heels in this particular main event were the Hart Dynasty, because they are Canadian and Smackdown was in Edmonton last week. They are, of course from Calgary, a neighboring town which has nothing but love for their Alberta brethren.

Right...

Still, Jeff Hardy is no John Cena, and thus could not fend off two men who are in peak physical condition. Maybe he'd of done alright if he had 45 year-old Shane McMahon in his corner?

If you get this go kill yourself.

No you fool! Only throw Brett Favre off of the top rope!

And the Canadian fans are very proud of their country men following the script.

So that should of been it, but it wasn't! Those super bad Harts started beating some sense into the drug addict, when the other drug addict top face came out to save the day! And what did he get for his troubles? A chair in the back from CM Punk!

"Perhaps you didn't get the memo. Canada is bizzaro land, so chairs are used for HITTING!"

Now done with Morrison, Punk then turned his attention to Jeff Hardy to finish what he started last week.


When...MATT HARDY(!) came out to save the day! But he used to hate his brother! What changed?

"My brother is leaving for a few months so he can get high and Smackdown needs new baby faces?"

Hmm, I guess we'll find out tonight as we go home to Summerslam! 8/7c, MyNetwork TV, or anytime on hulu.com!

R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Family Connundrum

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

O Canada, our home and native land....


Sorry, Stars and Stripes. I'm a little too excited for tonight's Smackdown, as it's taking place in beautiful Edmonton, Alberta! Where this guy was born!


Still, before all the excitement cant begin, we gotta know what happened last week. To start, a brand new Smackdown superstar made his debut! He goes by the moniker of Slammaster J, which is a take off of Grand Master B from Married with Children.


He took on Smackdown's resident Seal of Awesomness, Charlie Haas!


Since one guy has been getting TV time lately and one hasn't it's not too easy to see who won this match.

Hat forward- Bud Bundy. Hat backwards- Grandmaster B

JTG of Cryme Tyme decided to fight mano-o-mano with one half of the unified tag champs: former Grand Slam champion Chris Jericho! Clearly a man who has never won a title before would have no chance against a wrestler who is just now, doing his best work ever, despite having the most impressive of resumes.

I think this is why the Civil War was fought

See? History has a way of repeating itself all the time. Sure, Cryme Tyme's uncle may be in the White House, but that doesn't mean a wealthy Canadian can't ride a black man without repercussions.

Above: repercussions

Whoops.

Someone named Ricky Ortiz lost to the Great Khali.

LOL, Wresslin'wishes you all the best in your future endeavors.

Dolph Ziggler beat a bunch of people to win the right to cheat to beat Rey Mysterio for the IC title at Summerslam. But the story isn't so much the match, but the people he beat.


I'm going to focus on the gentleman to the right, Mike Knox (OMG!!!). Apparently being dumped by Kelly Kelly for The Miz of all people can take a tole on a man's psyche. Never much of a looker, Mr Knox (OMG!!!) seems to have fallen into a pit of hot pockets and loneliness. And there doesn't seem to be any Mach 3's there either.

I really need to see the suit he wears at the next Hall of Fame ceremony

Finally, there was a world title match tonight. Actually...there were two! The first one ended when Jeff Hardy got himself DQ'd. GM Teddy Long decided to holler at that bad decision, and issue a rematch for this very night (last week!)! But there is a stipulation. There will be a super secret, special guest enforcer to make sure nothing like that Jeff Hardy DQ ever happens again. Someone tough and unbiased. Or Matt Hardy.

Which Hardy has worse paint on right now?

Punk, powered by his sense of self worth (much like Ed Begley Jr) went all out to make sure he won his first ever, legit title match. He was strong on offense,

So much tension!

And even better on defense!

Knees up? That's new...

They say coming down from that high really kills

This was going to be it! Punk was going to win! The ref is counting to three when...special enforcer Matt Hardy pulls the ref out of the ring!!?!? WHY!? You mean to tell me that Matt Hardy took advantage of Teddy Long's trust? What a bad egg! Oh well Punk, hold your head up high. Your strong valor will win the day again.

Goddammit CM....

Great man. Great. You'll never get your rematch no-. Oh, Teddy Long is now hollerin' about a TLC match at Summerslam? But that's Jeff's expertise. You have no experience in high profile ladder matches.


Oh well. Smackdown's in Canada tonight, so I have no idea when or where it airs. Still, it'll be on hulu.ca eventually.