W.W.W. featuring the NWO and WrestleRock Rumble

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff then us

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your acoustic cover of "The King of Kings" ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Matt's video to Adam- jbl and nwo segment



Adam's response...

Rumors are circulating that TNA is going to make 1/4's live, head to head Impact, the best show they can. For some reason they think that may entail hiring Scott Hall and Sean Waltman. Somehow, bringing in those two men and pairing them with Kevin Nash (and possibly Hulk Hogan) will recreate the heat that was the original NWO.

Of course, this video is from 2002, the time when WWE recreated the NWO for their own fiendish gains. This was almost eight years ago, and it was already old then. Why TNA thinks that putting together this group again (and not even have the legal right to call them the NWO) is beyond me.

You know (tm), we make fun of Scott Hall for being a drunk and Kevin Nash for being injury prone a lot around these parts, yet we never make fun of Sean Waltman. Never made fun of the 1-2-3 Kid, or Sixx-Pac, or even X-Pac for that matter (we may have thrown the term "X-Pac heat" around once or twice.) Why is that? He's just as much of a screw up. He's had his drug demons in the past. He once made a sex tape with Joanie "Chyna" Laurner. And Jim Cornette once famously said the only reason he has a job is because "the other guys think he's funny when he gets drunk and throws up on himself."

I'll tell you why we never make fun of him: he's worthless. He's such an inconsequential punching bag that it's not even worth our time. He can't even be a spectacular screw up, as he has gone to rehab and is dependable enough to actually show up to bookings. That's actually why TNA is bringing him in with Scott Hall; just in case. Hall could no show an event, so send Nash and Waltman out there to do the job. More specifically Waltman to, because Nash has got to be protected.

As for the video itself? Our old friend silentrock06 is back again to watermark content he doesn't own. But hey, there are many people on the net who are content thieves, so I guess we have to accept it. He did make the mistake of titling this video "jbl" when at the time he was still just "Bradshaw." Still, we can also let that slide, as maybe he just wants to optimize hits of his stolen content.

The actual narrative is worthless as the "New World Order" is content to hangout in a clubhouse most children would be ashamed to have. Bradshaw, long having abandoned this location, is mad at the squatters and jumps in with his fists a flying.

Then the NWO beat up so he would never get heat again until he changed his gimmick.

Oh, and Crash Holly is a bitch ass snitch.



Adam's video to Matt - WrestleRock Rumble




Matt's response...


"Let's fill you in on the WrestleRock Rumble, GET ON!!" - The Whitest Man in the Universe

There's no way the participants in this video didn't at least once say, "Hey guys, you think maybe this is too 80s? I'm just sayin'..." But thank you so much for not have the sense to stay away from this.

I've seen a lot of bad efforts to sing by wrestlers in the past, but this without a doubt trumps them all, because they're not just singing badly. They're rapping badly, which we can all agree is much, much worse. This is made even more terrible by giving them the directive to rhyme their next to last line with "rumble," resulting in the word "fumble" shoehorned in more than once.

"What about 'incomplete pass'? Does that rhyme?!"

Instead of making fun of all of the bad ones (because that feels so easy and hack, even though neither of those things have ever stopped me from doing anything in the past), I'd like to highlight the few shining stars in this piece.

First, VCR tracking did a nice job, or at least the best it could. Way to go!

Second, my number one faves of this one are Curt Hennig and "Big" Scott Hall. They didn't go the Midnight Rocker route and toss up some garbage in a recording studio and call it a day. No, they said, "We're going to get some time at the pool and some free chicks out of this, damn it."

They relatively keep with the beat, get shoved in the pool, and Curt rhymes "dumbos" with "rumble," which is exactly the kind of out-of-the-box thinking I'm looking for. Plus, who doesn't like the idea of Scott and Curt splashing around in the swimming pool wearing Speedos? I certainly do.

I've had dreams that start like this. Specifically, all of them.

Larry Zbyszko turns in a solid performance as well. He has a nice cadence, and he chops a coconut in half, so yeah, extra points for that.

Finally, the H.H.H Metrodome...all the more reason for Adam and I to construct the Flair Center.

W.W.W. featuring A ladies' ladder match and The New Age Outlaws vs The Outsiders

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so the million "Ric Flair, leave the memories alone!" music videos a'int gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Adam's video to Matt - The Glamazon Beth Phoenix vs. Katie Lea Ladder Match



Matt's response....

Yes yes, LOL Fans, you can rest easy now. I, Laugh Twin Matt, have returned from the mouth of death itself and can finally sit myself in front of a computer and type a few humorous words for your enjoyment. I know you had me in your thoughts and dreams (more than usual) and now you can put away your praying devices and breathe a sigh of relief.

And what has drawn me back to the folds of this lovely interwebs space?

A women's title match from OVW.

Are. You. Kidding. Me?

It doesn't even feature one twice-named hottie from Raw. Adam, if you're going to send me a women's match, at least send me something to look at.

Please take note. And call me?

Not that Beth Pheonix or Katie Lea are particularly ugly. Well, Katie at least. Beth could take a few trips through a De-Maninizer. But alright, let's see what this has in store.

I'll sum this up in two words: pretty awesome. Yeah, I know, put a ladder in any match and people will say "That was so EXTREME!" That's pretty much the formula that WWE lives by these days. But there are those that do ladder matches well and those that don't. These broads fall into the first category.

However, I'm not going to say much more on that. You can watch the match yourself. That's not why you come to LOL, Wresslin'. You come to see us point out the things you might have missed. The small details that slip past other "blogs" and fall into our lap clean and crisp and ready to be revealed to the world. Which is why I'll talk instead about the announcers.

You know we hate announcers around here. So much, in fact, that there's no point to do our usual bit of hyperlinking to other genius content that we've written, because we talk about how much we hate announcers all the time. Now, I could pretend that I'm a super fan and tell you these guys' names, since I somehow find OVW on television and watch it all the time. I'd pull this off by going to Wikipedia or something like that. But no, I don't care that much about them. Let's just call them Mush Mouth and Rosco P. Coltrane.

Not the dog.

Let me break down some of the stupidest things they said:

"That 150 pound ladder" - I'll admit to all you reading that I've never actually weighed a ladder, but I've carried some around, and there's no way any of them weighed anywhere near 150 pounds. That's just ridiculous. Unless they bought it from England, and I have a hard time understanding why OVW would spend over three hundred dollars on an imported ladder.

"She combined high risk and maximum risk" - Now, how exactly do you do that? You'd think maximum risk would be, you know, the maximum. I can see how you'd combine medium risk and high risk and maybe get something approximating maximum risk, though I'm not sure how you quantify that.

"Jeez o pete!" - Shut up. Just shut the hell up.

"Into the gut of Katie Lea" - I understand what you're going for here, and sure, on anyone that area would be called "the gut," but I find it hard to say that about the delicious Katie Lea. Can't you just say "stomach" or "tum tum"? Let's not conjure up images of Umaga here.

"Steven Hawking may be breathing, but he ain't getting up!" - Really? Really? We say some borderline insensitive things here, but really? I don't know. Something about him being a world-reknowned scientist makes it feel a little weird that he be ridiculed during an OVW match. Just sayin'.


Matt's Video to Adam- BG James and Kip James vs Kevin Nash and Scott Hall



Adam's response...

Dear Great Lakes Championship Wrestling,

It has come to our attention that you have made unauthorized use of our copyrighted works on your March 21, 2009 "Two Worlds Two Sweet!" live event which was video taped for distribution. We have reserved all rights on these works, first published in 1998. Your work is essentially identical to our work and used our work as its basis. The violations are as follows:

• Performer Brian Gerard James (aka B.G. James, aka The Road Dogg Jesse James, aka The Roadie) reciting catchphrases and mannerisms popularized during his tenure while employed in World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE).
• Mr. James referred to fellow performer Monty Sopp (aka Kip James, aka Mr. Ass, aka Billy Gunn) as "Billy Gunn", a name owned by WWE.
• Mr. James continued to refer to his partnership with Mr. Sopp as "The New Age Outlaws" a name owned by WWE
• Performers Scott Hall and Kevin Nash walked to the ring to the "nWo Wolfpac" theme music, an asset purchased by WWE on March 23, 2001.
• Although Mr. Sopp and Mr. James were advertised as "B.G. James and Kip James", commentators on the video referred to them as "The Road Dogg", "Billy Gunn", and "Team DX", all of which are owned by WWE.

Additionally, although not direct copyright violations, your usage of a slow, injury prone Kevin Nash, and slow, drunk Scott Hall who oversells/no sells (somehow that's possible) are previously used ideas that we feel strengthen our case. Instances such as Mr. James referring to him and his partner as "seven time WWF tag team champions" are irrelevant, since we do not know what a World Wildlife Fund tag team champion is. The only original idea you had was booking Scott Hall and him not no-showing the event.

As you neither asked for nor received permission to use WWE property as the basis for "Two Worlds Two Sweet", nor to make electronic copies of the same, we believe you have willfully infringed upon our rights under 17 U.S.C. Section 101 et seq. and could be liable for statutory damages paid by the attendance and tape sales [we estimate this to be about three thousand dollars ($3,000).]

Very truly yours,

World Wrestling Entertainment

W.W.W. featuring Mrs. Undertaker's Stalker and Scott Hall vs. Chris Jericho

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff then us

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your montage of photoshopped nude Diva photos ain't gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Adam's video to Matt - Undertaker's wife's stalker revealed



Matt's response...

I'll save you the suspense (and obviously so will the video preview) - it was DDP.

It's a LOL, Wresslin' pictogram!

That's right, Diamond Dallas Page was stalking the Undertaker's wife, presumably because he had nothing better to do.

Actually, Page provides a reason for committing this crime; he's coming after the Undertaker. See, this was right after the WWF purchased WCW, and Page was in a little need of work. So what do you do? You show up at your new job and go after the best guy that's already working there. It's a prison mentality, I believe.

DDP shows up and says he wants to take on Undertaker because he wants Taker to make him famous. Apparently he's been doing a pretty poor job of it on his own. So how did that work out?

Well, Wikipedia's description of Diamond Dallas Page's run in the WWE is only two paragraphs long, so that should tell you something.

*Not the WWE Championship

I'm sure all of you are wondering what happened at the King of the Ring in question. Page did what he said he would and bought a ticket to the event to sit in the front row. It seems strange that Vince McMahon would let him ride down to the ring on a motorcycle, cut a five minute promo on someone, and then make him buy a ticket to get to an event. What an odd business.

So the Deadman showed up, after taunting Page all night with hidden video of DDP getting to the arena and stuff like that. They tussle a bit, and Page runs away.

Did that make him famous? Not long after, he changed to his "Positively Page" gimmick and then left the company. Then he wrestled some independent shows, went to TNA (which I guess you could call a step up, but I'm not sure) and lost a championship match to Jeff Jarrett. But it was 2004, so everyone lost to Jarrett - don't feel bad, DDP.

After that, he and his smoking hot wife divorced, and now he's a motivational speaker. Next, I expect him to be a TV pitch-man, selling the newest kitchen utensil, the Diamond Cutter!

Not better than him, though.

So what exactly was the price of the Undertaker making you famous, Diamond? Your health declined, you don't wrestle anymore, you wasted money on PPV tickets, your wife is gone, and now you can only serve to motivate others by saying how crappy things were for you.

But that's not a bad thing, it's a GOOD thing.

What an mixed-up world wrestling is, as well. As far as I can tell, Page stalked someone (criminal harassment), committed voyeurism (invasion of privacy), and stole private property. Yet when he rides to the ring on his pilfered motorcycle and admits to all of this, he gets a huge pop. At the very least he should be reprimanded and given a less-than-hospital welcome at the arena.

I can understand law enforcement being slow to respond though. He did, like the Diamond Cutter, appear out of nowhere.

Matt's video to Adam- WCW Scott Hall vs. Chris Jericho




What's this? A video involving Scott Hall? After last week's video about Jake Roberts? Me thinks Matt is trying to tell me something. Seriously, what's up with these slow ones over the plate? You think I'm not funny enough, Matt? I'm not good enough? Well I'll show you! I'll eat a pint of ice cream and then get a make over, which mostly consists of me dying my hair and getting it get really short.

Future me

Anyway, on to the task at hand. Mr. Hall comes out of the locker room with some very small belt on. I don't know what belt it is, since no graphic nor announcer felt the need to tell me. Still, it's almost comically tiny. Sort of the anti-Jack Swagger.

Kinda like that.

Still, this is standard Scott Hall. He comes into the ring, gives a little "Hey yo" and goes into the nWo survey shtick. Surprisingly enough though, the nWo are actually heels this time. That's because we're live from Charlotte, North Carolina! Flair country! Wooo! Woo! Woooo!

I mentioned this the last time Matt sent me an nWo video, but the director of this show is terrible. He always cuts to the exact opposite of what should be seen. Case in point, WCW is being cheered during the survey, and he gets to this:



And this:


Now, I honestly want to know what the nWo needs this survey data for. Is it to sell more of their tee shirt brands, as Mr. McMahon would say? Or do they want to have an empirical way to rank the super hunks of the New World Order? Maybe the political leanings and mean age/income of an nWo supporter for future pledge drives? Or is the far more likely answer of "ego." Unfortunately, it seem that most of the nWo is now billed from "Parts Unknown" so this will have to remain a mystery.

And how does Hall end the segment? "One more for the good guys!" I understand the heat he would get by misinterpreting a crowd reaction, but Scott Hall has billed himself as "The Bad Guy." So which is it, Razor? Are the nWo ironic good guys or heelish bad guys? Santa has an answer!

A grown man made a sign about what a make believe man thinks of a make believe organization.

As for the match itself.... pretty good actually. I know I should be all like, "Scott Hall's a drunk LOLZ!" but the whole reason we make fun of Scott is because of his epic failure. The failure wouldn't be epic if he wasn't once successful. This was part of the good days. Seriously, for match this short it told a nice story and got everyone over. Jericho had some good offense and got a couple of near falls, and the announcers do a good job of putting him over, citing his eventual loss due to a "lack of experience." Hall sold pretty well for Jericho, got in a few good spots, and showed some real personality out there. Like his reaction to the pro-WCW survey response:


And his mocking of the Giant after using the Giant's signature choke slam:


So all and all, Scott Hall did good in my book on this night. Of course, here's what happened backstage with the boys after the match:

GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!

SEASON'S BEATINGS!!

So how'd your Christmas go? Ours went GREAT! We got so many wonderful gifts this year that we can barely hold back our glee! But seriously, how'd it go for you? Did you get that Fathead you wanted? No? Why? Did Grandma get you TNA merchandise instead? Were they all sold out of of that Elimination Chamber playset? Is your family just poor?

Your family. Not ours.

Well have no fear, because The Laugh Twins are here to make sure that EVERYONE has a very Merry Christmas (regardless of religious denomination)! Here are a few post-Christmas clearance items from your one-stop-e-shop, WWEShopzone.com!

Boogeyman plush bear- $7.98



Yup, because who wouldn't want to cuddle up with the Boogeyman? He in no way exists to scare children while they sleep. Still, it's 60% off and is a Shopzone exclusive. Exclusive? Do you think that means "rare" or "these sell so terribly it's not worth the expense to bring them on the road to live events"?

John Cena JC Logo YOUTH Sneakers- $9.98

Suck Fhoelaces

We'll let the Shopzone pimp these:

Now you can sport John Cena''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''s style literally from head to toe with our NEW John Cena JC Logo YOUTH Sneakers!! White. PVC. Imported.

Hmm, not sure if that's grammatically correct. Anyway, we can certainly attest to sportin' Mr. Cena's style from head to toe! And they're Velcro to boot! No more tying like a bunch of suckers for us!

Nature Boy Ric Flair Book/DVD package- $20.80

Wooooo!!!

A bargain at twice the price. Still, if that's a little too much coin how about making your own Book/DVD combo out of the next two items?

Erik Bischoff Controversy Creates Ca$h book- $5.98

Wooooo??

The original list here was $26.00. Take from that what you will. Still, a hardcover, 400 page book for $6 is a good deal anywhere, but one that involves backstage stories of Scott Hall being drunk? You got yourself a deal!




Shawn Michaels Boyhood Dream DVD- $4.83



Ah, the magical year of 1996. Who could ever forget it?



Who could ever forget it that matters? Well certainly not the WWE and now neither you! Ever! Gah!

This DVD chronicles Shawn Michaels's use of backstage politics and whining hard work and determination to finally win the WWF title at Wrestlemania XII! Jam packed with 3 hours of hard hitting, WWF Attitude! Don't believe us? Well Megan, Toronto Canada knows what she likes:

Title: OK dvd

Reviewed By: Megan, Toronto, Canada on 5/9/2008

this dvd is a recollection of everything that HBK accomplished in 1996. it features a lot of great matches including the iron man match with Bret, the only downside is that guy whose name I can't remember got irritating after a while.

Yea, those guys who's names we can't remember sure can get irritating, right Megs?!? HAH, lolz.

Matt Striker action figure- $7.98


With business suit action! Not excited enough? Well read a customer review.

Review Summary:

No Reviews Available!

Fair enough

The 12 LOLs of Christmas

SEASON'S BEATINGS!

We wish you a Merry Christmas! That's right, it's time to relax with the family, enjoy some good food, and open all the presents! And if you're reading this, it's also time to hide away in a side room and surf LOL, Wresslin'!

We appreciate that; we really do. Never let it be said that the Laugh Twins are Grinches or Scrooges or Mr. Potters. NO! We love to give, and in the spirit of the season, here is The Twelve Days of Christmas...all wrapped up in a big LOL, Wresslin' bow!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the Laugh Twins gave to thee...

12 KELLY KELLYS
Can we just stop here?

11 WWE PLUSH BEARS

10 CELEBRITIES WRESTLING

9 J.B.L. KNOCKOUTS

8 MASHEEN GUNZ

7 MIKE KNOX BEARDS

6 STONE COLD STUNNERS

5 ORTON HOGS!

4 DRUNK SCOTT HALLS

3 JAKE ROBERTS SUICIDES

2 MR. CENAS

AND THE GREATEST WRESTLING BLOG IN HISTORY!!!

Scott Hall has an Answer

This weekend taught us a valuable lesson. Earth-53 doesn’t stop just because we don’t have to go to our day jobs. As we all remember, a few weeks ago, Jake the Snake took out his old bag of tricks again (Good Lord that joke works on so many levels…). Well, not to be outdone, Scott Hall is here to remind us that yes, he’s still alive, and yes, he’s still belligerent. Observe the following from the Roast of the Iron Shiek at the Ring Legends convention in New Jersey this weekend (classy language ensues):

Now, before we get into what caused such a ruckus, we’d like to react to the event as it happened. First off, it appears that Mr. Hall may have been under the influence of alcohol. We don't want to wildly speculate here, but saying Scott Hall was drinking is not all that wild and probably not speculation. However, what was more alarming was how Scott Hall was doing the crotch chop in real life. Seriously. Look how ridiculous that is. Oh, ha ha. He’s got your party…down there. Oh man, he wants to invite King Kong Bundy to a homoerotic encounter.

Sick.

Burn.

And what caused all the brouhaha? The Bad Guy did not appreciate one of the jokes, and if you can believe this, it was over a joke that wasn’t about him! The pariah, the paragon of virtue that graced the world with “Hey, yo…” got upset over the following “Roundboy” Jimmy Graham (who?) guffaw:

After the Sheik and Hacksaw Jim got caught sniffing coke in the parking lot, his (The Iron Shiek) career fell faster than Owen Hart

LOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!1111BBQshiftoneone11!!

We have two rules here at LoL, Wresslin'. Be funny and don’t be unfunny. And honestly? That joke’s pretty funny. Tasteless? You bet. But it’s not a bad joke. We can see the case being made that Owen died of a tragic accident, and not through steroid abuse that led to him hanging himself via weight machine, so perhaps it’s not fair. Scott Hall may have loved Owen Hart, and that joke brought back some hard memories. Maybe he’s justified in his reaction.

Or maybe he’s just a man with a problem who can’t take responsibility for things in his life and needs to learn some inner strength to let things go.

Our final take is that it was a comedy roast of the Iron Shiek (why?), and jokes like this are to be expected. We would have liked to have heard the joke and the crowd reaction to it, and we’d have liked to hear some of the other jokes as well. Was this the worst one of the night? Were there Chris Benoit jokes? What is off limits to talk about for these old guards of kayfabe?

When reached for comment Adam stated “Of course this happened in central New Jersey. I swear, the beach areas I’m from are cool.”

We don't have the energy anymore.

UPDATE: More information coming out about Chico's weekend off Exit 8A:

There were a lot of problems dealing with Scott Hall at the convention.  Beyond the already well-recounted Iron Sheik Roast incident, there was a problem with Hall allegedly trying to pick up a woman who was in the hotel's restaurant while she was with her husband and children several times.  Police were called but the family declined to press charges.  Hall also missed his flight back to Florida and was said to have demanded the convention cover another hotel night and the cost of a flight change.

Welcome to LOL, Wresslin'

With a name like LOL, Wresslin', it’s not too difficult to surmise what it is we’re about. It’s not like we’re ambiguously titled “The Excellence of Execution” or “If Ya Smell What the Blog is Cookin’!” (Our apologies if these blogs do, in fact, exist. In fact, we’re sure they do.) No, LOL, Wresslin' exists for the exact same reason professional wrestling exists: to entertain.

You see, we watch wrestling the way it should be watched. The WWE (which will get the most focus since it simply has the most content to absorb) is its own, parallel world. Let’s call it Earth-53. That’s the only way it makes sense. That’s the only way it can be enjoyed. We’re not idiots. We understand that professional wrestling is “fake.” But what fun is that? Do we honestly believe that Kiefer Sutherland is actually protecting America over a single day (editor’s note: Kiefer, no. Jack Bauer, yes.)? Do we honestly think that Christian Bale patrols around Gotham City? Of course we don’t, so why pro wrestling should be held to a different level of realism is beyond us. It’s a perfectly valid form of entertainment, and shouldn’t be judged as anything but.

With all that being said, we are going to watch Vince McMahon’s product just as he presents it. We will ask the logical questions that would stem from these “superstar’s” motivations. We won’t forget dropped storylines. Why so snarky? Because half the fun of following serialized fiction is catching continuity errors.

And don’t think that the wrestler’s real lives are off limits to us either. That’s the other fun half of this. That mean’s you, Scott Hall.

We're still not sure which one he prefers.

So what can you, the reader, expect from us? Not much, honestly. We will pretty much follow the Deadspin rules of posting:

1) Be funny.
2) Don’t be unfunny

That is what we will strive to do. We won’t be breaking any news stories, so please don’t expect a an embarrassing photo of the Miz going “I CAN HAZ PUSH?” if there’s backstage rumblings that he’s getting a push. Don’t worry though; there will be plenty of embarrassing photos of The Miz, just not in that context. We will respond to any real world stories that happen to wrestlers in due time, but by no means will we ever fantasy book or write an essay explaining what TNA needs to do to overtake WWE, etc. Much more qualified and intelligent people then we have beaten that to death.

We will, however, make tasteless jokes. Perhaps too often.