W.W.W. featuring Jerry Lawler and Lita

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your one-act play about The Headshrinkers ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Matt's video to Adam- Jerry Lawler burns Bobby Bowden's nephew



Adam's response...

You ever think TNA is cheap looking? Ever think about how lame it is that they tape at a sound stage in Universal Studios? Well I tell you, that's miles better then some storage locker in Memphis, Tennessee.

I'm all for being frugal and having a close, intimate crowd, but this is a little too much. It's very hard to maintain the legitimacy of this being a sporting event when there are about 30 people watching it. Granted, most indy shows now-a-days can't claim that number, but they also don't have television deals.

As for the actual goings on in the video- well, I couldn't tell you. It's kind of cornucopia (Thanksgiving!) of happenings. Sid Vicious wore red tights and Doug Gilbert wore a mask. Isn't the entire point of wearing a mask supposed to involve you concealing your identity? Why wear the mask if you're just going to give out your social security number?

Above: The Amazing Peter Parker

Now, we've expressed our love of Scott Bowden on this site before, but I gotta call him out on one thing (I know you're reading this, Bowden): how does being Bobby Bowden's nephew get you heel heat? Granted, I understand you're essentially portraying a spoiled brat, but why not just be a spoiled brat? Why bring Florida State head coach Bobby Bowden into the mix? The University of Memphis is not a traditional football school, nor a rival of Florida State. I suppose you could make the case for the University of Tennessee being such a football school that the hatred of Florida State would carry down from Knoxville to Memphis, but UT and FSU are not rivals. They're not even in the same conference!

That being said, the assault on Bowden's Starter jacket is very topical for the early 1990's when this was made. Many men lost their lives for a Starter jacket.

Word

Still, the commentators could have been a little more concerned with an attempt to light Bowden on fire. He may be an annoying little shit, but a lifetime in the burn ward is a bit of a strong message to send. Also, it could lead to Bell's Palsy.


Adam's video to Matt - The Hardy Boys attack Dean Malenko in Lita's shower



Matt's response...

This is the mark equivalent of the Zapruder film. Actually, all videos in the "diva in the shower" subset are, meticulously paused and unpaused, trying to catch that exact moment where you maybe catch a glimpse of something you weren't supposed to/will never see. It's at times like these when I like to take things to the fans and see what the word on the street is.

According to YouTubers, the magic time is 22 seconds into the film, where Rooxilo says, "You Can See Lita's HOT ASS!" (Side note: is it really worth the extra time to capitalize every word? No one gives a crap.) Others make claim that a few seconds later, you can see her chest, but this can't be substantiated.

Of course, all these comments are prefaced with "I'm not being perverted, but..." However, finding it necessary to discover that 1/10th of a second of video where you might catch a butt crack seriously calls that claim into question. Then again, I have numerous Google queries of "Randy Orton hog sexy," so really who am I to cast stones? It's all work related though.


So what are all these video experts so worked up about? Well, for the first time in the history of blogging, I'm going to break this mystery right open. Just what is contained at 0:22? Here you go:


Through some digital trickery, I've enhanced this image, simply by typing "enhance" into my computer. Just like the movies! Take a look:


Not bad work, right? I'm pretty awesome. You can thank me, marks. Now go on and enjoy this time to yourself.

Then there's this...

W.W.W. featuring Mark Lewin and Scott Bowden

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so setting the Steve Austin/Bret Hart match to the Platoon soundtrack ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Matt's video to Adam- Mark Lewin is a wrestling god!

Adam's response...

There's been a lot of talk lately about the WWE Hall of Fame induction ceremony. Oh sure, there was the noticeable low light of inducting Koko B. Ware (really?), but the night on the overall was rather magical. After all, Stone Cold Steve Austin is a sure bet, as were Steamboat, the Funks, and Howard Finkle. So with such an illustrious class you would have to assume that the WWE Hall of Fame is the Valhalla of pro wrestling.

Well you know what happens when you assume?

"Something something you ass me"

Turns out, there is another hall of fame. The Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame, based out of Amsterdam, New York (luxurious, I know). This place honors the many men and women who applied their craft diligently, and not just those who sold a lot of tee shirts to fat guys. Oh don't get me wrong. They're there. Hogan is in it. Piper, Flair, Bret Hart, and Steamboat are all in it. So it has its cred.

Side note: Macho Man Randy Savage was inducted this year, so although at the time he wrote "Remember Me" he was lying, the H in "Macho" can now, in fact, stand for "Honor" because he is in the Hall of Fame.

Of course, what does any of this have to do with the above lunacy? Well, using the finest research tools at my disposal, I was able to deduce (and by that I mean, read it on wikipedia) that this very year Mark Lewin was inducted into the Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame. And why not? He posed while doing a bad mummy impression all the while some Saudi gentleman screamed at Gordan Solie. And who can ever forget his amazing work rate as he almost killed some poor jobber with a pile driver only Owen Hart and Steve Austin could love?

This ain't going to end well...

In fairness to Mr. Lewin, this is just one comical clip Matt sent me. He had an illustrious career wrestling for such prestigious promotions like NWA Detroit, World Championship Wrestling (Australia), and All-Star Pro wrestling, where it is foretold that that's where all the stars wrestled.

So in a lot of ways, The Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame is far superior to the WWE Hall of Fame, just because it respects all who bleed for us and not just those who made money for Vince, and in turn make more money for Vince by having a fancy ceremony in a fancy pants arena. But then again, the WWE Hall of Fame has this:

Game. Set. Match.

Adam's video to Matt - Scott Bowden could have been a contender





Matt's response...

Lance Russell, you're an affront to all to all things wrestling. Being a long-time Memphis Wrestling announcer, I expected better from you, but I guess I was mistaken. We all know, and so should you, that Scott Bowden is not one to brag on himself. Hell, he even says so! The man is so humble, he hasn't even bothered to start his own Wikipedia page.

The man is a visionary in the wrestling business, but he'd never tell you that. And obviously you refuse to admit it. Is it so unbelievable that he'd be the number 8 contender in Pro Wrestling Illustrated? Why must you assume that this is some fake printing? And just where are all these phony newspapers you keep talking about? A Germantown boy would never have to stoop to such a level. I'm ashamed of you.

Despite your incredulity at his status in this business, I'd like you to consider at just how far he's gone and how much he's accomplished since you belittled him in front of the fans and his peers. He writes column for Comics 101, and formerly wrote for Movie Poop Shoot. When's the last time you had a poop shoot gig?

So zany!

He wrote a screenplay about a Memphis tag-team. Sure, it got passed on, but at least he tried.

But this got made.

He's also been on two series that were cancelled by the Sci-Fi (SyFy?) network. Not even Bruce Campbell can say that.

The man also has an impressive YouTube resume, with him teaming up with Jerry Lawler to take on Mark Henry, and also brawling with "Retarded" Randy Hales. What are your YouTube credits, Mr. Russell? Oh, here are some interview bloopers. And you and Jerry Lawler team up as well, but not to fight Mark Henry. No, you two prank A DOCTOR. A medical professional. Shame, sir. Shame.

At the end of the day, it seems like you may be the one who thinks rather highly of himself. I mean, Scott never wrote a book about how great he was in bed.

I can't prove it's the same person, but prove to me it's not.