W.W.W. featuring RVD and Jay Lethal

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your poorly-edited explanation of Chris Jericho's "Save.Us" promos ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Adam's video to Matt - Rob Van Dam and Booker T's Rocking New Year's Eve



Matt's response...

You know what I like about RVD? Well, first, I'll tell you that there's not too many things I like about him, period. His wrestling, while athletic and daring, is mostly stale, and he's in the bottom one percent for mic skills. Seriously, I think the Great Khali is better, and the most that he's said is screaming incoherently at telephones. I don't find him an entertaining character in the least, but other people do, and I think that those other people are stupid.

However, I'll tell you what I do like about him, and that's that he doesn't give a shit. RVD's job is to wrestle, and he's lost that job in the past because of his frequent, and public, drug use. Despite this, his user name on YouTube is "RVDTV420." 420, really? You know who celebrates 420, RVD? College students and the unemployed.

Let me amend that. Those are not the only people who celebrate 420; those are just the only people that it's somewhat acceptable that they should celebrate it.

Oh, and heads of state.

Here's another thing: this is a New Year's Eve video, presumably shot on New Year's Eve, and directly relevant to New Year's Eve. When did RVD think it was appropriate to post this 47 second descent into a pot-fueled madness? June 1st, 2009. Somehow, we're more timely than he is.

Also, where the hell is the Masterpiece? What has he got better to do? Why wouldn't you want to hang out with a bunch of guys who indulge you and actually refer to you as "The Masterpiece"?

Speaking of the Masterpiece, while "researching" this article, I came across the unofficial Chris Masters website, the banner of which informs me that Masters had sexual intercourse with my mother. I'm not sure how this fellow who runs the site would have that sort of information, but I'm just going to assume it's validity. MASTERBURN~! ONLINE also says that the Masterpiece hates HBO television series, and his penis is desired by no less than eight "hot" celebrities, such as Tara Reid, Alanis Morrisette, and Shannon Elizabeth.

This site is either the greatest true fan page in history, or a well-crafted satire, and I wish that somehow it's both, because it's genius on either level. For instance, we're given the definition of Masterglitter:

Masters's robe is made of glitter. When Masters takes the robe off, you can see bits of glitter on his awesome shoulders. That my friends, is Masterglitter.

He also gives us a few Masterburns, meaning times when Chris Masters totally put someone in their place, such as:

"Go ahead and have a seat, sir."

and...

"I got this one-way ticket to anywhere in the United States, because let's face it, anywhere is better than being in Omaha, Nebraska."

Well, RVD, Chris Masters didn't show up to your NYE party, so you might as well consider yourself Masterburned. Face! Masterface!

Matt's video to Adam- Black Machismo Jay Lethal Interview



Adam's response...

The video game TNA Impact! was released on September 9th, 2008. MikeReganGR (the interviewer in the video) decided to post this video to Youtube.



Listen, I can't blame him for keeping this one on the shelf for a while; it's pretty terrible. First off, his mic is WAY too hot. Second, he's a fat mess who should be....well something rather than seen. I mean, how could we miss something THAT huge, but you catch my drift.



Of course, Mr. Regan is not the only not-ready-for-prime-time player. No, Mr. Lethal is pretty terrible as well. Here are his first few words:

"Well....uhhh...so faruh...we've doneuh, um, the motion capture. Mo-cap is what they call it. "

Things noticeably pick up when discussion turns to The Machoman Randy Savage. And why shouldn't it? The Machoman is the best thing to ever happen to professional wrestling. Not Hogan. Not Bret. Not even LOL, Wresslin. Nope, it's Macho.

Seriously, in addition to being a former world champion, thespian, and Slim Jim endorser, he's also a master rapper. You know (tm) this. This is also why we here love Jay Lethal.

Yes, Mr Lethal is one of the 3,000 crazies who actually own Be a Man. I can send Jay Lethal a text message (we're both from New Jersey, natch) that says "Solemn Piano" and he will text me back "In today's news, Macho Man Randy Savage has signed a recording contract with Big 3 Records as a rap artist." Be a Man is a bond thicker then blood.

Also, Jay Lethal says he's not good at rapping, which is stupid because he's black.

Also stupid: Christopher Daniels cutting a promo to a venue that no one will ever see.

Even more stupid: Lethal saying that Hogan should "be a man." He's your boss now, dude.

Although that never stopped one guy

It's so hard to say goodbye

SEASON'S BEATINGS!

For a theme song to accompany this post please press play and enjoy mourn.



Sometimes things aren't funny. We know that's a little hypocritical of us to say when we openly make fun of Bret Hart's stroke and Nobody's murder/suicide. We also are on the record for wishing Scott Hall and Jake Roberts would die. But we need to draw a line. A fresh death is not funny.

Soon it'll set in that a great Samoan has died. His Impact will hopefully live on for generations, but we can never be sure. All we know is that he's as good as gone and we're worse for it. We are of course talking about Samoa Joe and the impending demise of TNA.

You thought we meant this drug addict? He can fuck himself in his fat fucking ass for all we care.

Yes, TNA is all aflutter about going live, head-to-head, against Raw on Monday, January 4th. Hulk Hogan himself announced this at a UFC event this past weekend. He also continued the TNA tradition of putting over rival organizations as he said "Whatcha gunna do, brother, when The UFC runs wild on you?!" Clearly TNA has no idea what they're doing.

We make fun of TNA as much as anyone else does, but lo and behold, it could be a lot worse. If TweetNA has taught us anything it's that the average Impact is better then the average Raw (especially if the guest host stinks) and that some of their talent can really go. For every Kevin Nash and Mick Foley taking up space, there is an AJ Styles and Desmond Wolfe ready to impress us with some wrestling. But trust us boys (and Dixie!), you're not ready to go head to head with the big show yet. It'll be suicide.

No. Nobody ever rang.

Seriously TNA, you go almost head to head with WWE Superstars on a channel no one gets and squeak out a rating that's about .4 points higher. Why do you think you can up against Raw? Now true, if there is any night to do it, it's that night. It's after New Year's, when everyone is broke. Hogan will be making his debut in the Impact Zone and it's rumoured he's bringing Ed Leslie Ric Flair and Brian Knobbs Rob Van Dam with him. Plus, both shows are going opposite the Fiesta Bowl, where a certain Mr. Cena will be tossing the coin. We don't think even Superman Cena can make it from Phoenix, AZ to Dayton, OH in time for that show.

Plus who cares about this matchup of nobodies?

We're praying you're right on this one, Dixie. We really are. Just don't expect us to show up at the funeral.

Oh, and to show we're not totally heartless:

Non-White Friday

Season's Beatings!

Happy Thanksgiving, all! Or, to those of you not in the United States, Happy Thursday! Thanksgiving is that holiday that allows us to thank back to the time that the Pilgrims and Indians hooked up and had a great big feast and danced and smoked and generally thumbed their noses at the lame ass British that stayed on the island. Losers.


But did you also know that the day after Thanksgiving was a holiday as well? That's right, it's Black Friday! The un-official start of the Christmas shopping season, when retailers slash all their prices and open their doors at four in the morning. The day when shoppers wait up all night for a prime spot in line and then lose their mind when the store opens. The day when people die shopping.

Seriously.

We'd like for you to avoid all that. We don't want you to die. Who'd read the blog? So we're finding some of the best deals out there for the wrestling minded fan, and not from the normal places either. No, we're headed over to ShopTNA.com!

Apparently, TNA celebrates Black Friday as well. You weren't aware of that? Well, allow Don West to tell you.



So what items are they offering us at nutty low prices?

That's just frightening.

This beauty will only cost you $12.99. That's five bucks off! Quite the deal already!

Dave in South Dakota says: "This DVD is worth the money the bonus features are cool" Let it never be said that South Dakotans are not quick to get to the point. Now, we'd normally post other reviews of the product so you'd know what you're getting into when purchasing, but seeing how they are all just participating in a fanboy flame war, it's really somewhat useless. However, J*Box of Kansas does take a break from the bickering and offer this:

I'm a hugh Wrestling Fan, and hears why you the consumer should buy this DvD. It is Action Packed.

We definitely could have said it better ourselves.


For $55.99, you can get your hands on this piece of TNA memoribilia: a Kevin Nash autographed baseball. Does Big Sexy play baseball? Absolutely not, but that shouldn't stop him from signing one and sending it to you, should it?

Well, yes it should. This is just a stupid gimmick. They have these for a lot of wrestlers, like Mick Foley and Suicide. Yes, Suicide signed a baseball, and he signed it "Suicide." That should look great on your kid's shelf. So why choose Nash's over those others? Because it's the only one in existence. That's right! Act quickly and get it now! Nash hyper-extended his elbow and tore his bicep signing this one, so there aren't any more!

There must be SOME reason why we avoided TNA for so long...

Finally, for just a buck, you can score yourself a Curry Man 8x10. Go ahead and replace that photo of your kids in the hallway with this sweet puppy. "terrol" provided the only review, saying:

this photo looks cool BRING BACK CURRY MAN

Yes, terrol, yes this photo does look cool, doesn't it? Why shouldn't they bring back Curry Man, especially with that ringing endorsement you just gave him? Don't they care at about someone who'll spend a dollar for a completely worthless sheet of high-gloss photo paper?

We're going to save our Washington, though. There's something much better we could spend it on...

Sadly, this was only given a one-and-a-half star rating. We might have to reconsider...

T.N.A.A.R.P.?

First, allow us to apologize for being a bit late to the party on this update. Sadly, real life gets in the way of blogging sometimes, and since you're not sending us money in the mail to compensate for the amount of laughter we're bringing you on a daily basis, we can't quit our day jobs. Soooo...checks please?

Anyway, we have a quick break-down of some stats for you. There's been a lot of talk recently about TNA seeming to forget what made them a young upstart to begin with. Mainly, that whole "young" part. More and more, the locker room of TNA is looking like the signature signing convention scene from The Wrestler. With the recent signing of Hulk Hogan as a booker, which means he'll eventually hold every title the company has to offer, and the debut of Jim "the Anvil" Neidhart seem to suggest the folks over at the other promotion have been playing a little too much Legends of Wrestlemania.

But just how much is it? We decided to pull out the trusty LOLculator and crunch some of the numbers. How much has the average age of performers changed over the years? For sampling, we'll compare TNA's first three-hour pay-per-view, "Victory Road," which went down almost five years on November 7th, 2004, and the most recent pay-per-vew, "Bound for Glory," as well as throwing in some of the more high-profile signings in the recent weeks.

Let's get started with the math! Again, we did our best here, but remember, we never claimed to be a news site, and these methods may not be comepletely sound, but it seems good enough for us.

At "Victory Road," there were 43 people on the card. We didn't take into account valets or mangers. The youngest was Puma, who was 20 at the time; the oldest being Konnan and Jacqueline, who were both 40. The average age among that group came out to 29.43 years. A good portion of that group has remained with the company, a few were blown out, and a couple went to WWE.

Now, at last month's "Bound for Glory" pay-per-view, we looked at 33 performers on the card. A number of wrestlers are 23 (Consequences Creed, Taylor Wilde, and Madison Rayne); the oldest at that event were Sting and Kevin Nash at 50 years old. If you include two new members of TNA, Hulk Hogan becomes the oldest at 56, with Jim Neidhart not far behind at 53. The average age of this newer group is 34.65 years.

The major area where TNA got younger was the Knockouts division, which didn't really exist during that first pay-per-view. The only women on the card were Trinity and Jacqueline, 37 and 45 respectively. Compare that to "Bound for Glory," where four of the seven Knockouts are 30 or younger. Minus that group, the current age of TNA goes up to 36 years.

What does this all mean? Well, nothing really. Honestly, all you have to do is look at the product and you can see that they've strayed from wrestling and athleticism to something approximating WWE-lite, with a premium placed on storyline and promos. That's something at which the older guard can excell. But which came first? Was the change in focus a product of the desire pull in big names from the glory days, or did they bring in these old-timers to push the new direction of the company and teach some of the younger members of the roster the intangibles of story-telling and mic work.

If the latter is the case, we think you made a mistake with Neidhart, Dixie.

Mr. Hogan seconds Mr. Roberts's motion

We're not going to bother with a clever introduction because today's news is sort of big. Mainstream big. You're a clever reader. We don't think we're going to lull you into "well what happened?" with some sort of dramatic tension introduction.

Yes, it's true. Hulk Hogan was on the Today show this morning [fun fact: did you know (tm) that Sigorney Weaver's father created the Today and Tonight show for NBC? It's true!)



What pray tell did the Hulkster have to say to Meridith Vieira? Well the Immortal One isn't all that immortal after all. He was depressed (serious ailment, no doubt) enough to actually be a danger to himself. Yes, he bravely went on TV to discuss his ailment and how close to the brink he was. He downed a whole bottle of the anti-depressant Xnaax and chased it down with some rum. A lethal combination to be sure. But just to be sure that the pills would perform their task, Hogan also put a gun in his mouth and squeezed the trig-


Oh thank heavens! Layla Ali (his co-host on the now defunct American Gladiators and boxing legend Muhammad Ali's daughter) happened to just call at exactly the right time. Just as his other friends, like Eric Bischoff or radio personality Bubba the Love Sponge, called. All because they were worried about Hollywood. It's truly an uplifting story of friendship and second chances. And a good thing too, because as good Christian boys, we don't think this would have applied if Hogan committed suicide. In all seriousness though, and we're being real here, we're very proud of your bravery there, Mr. Bollea.

Oh wait. He's promoting a book? Figures (he also said "like you know (tm)" more than Adam did in the entire Alleged LOLoCast.)

Yes, in true Hulk Hogan fashion he decided to drum up some interest in a new project he's in. But it didn't stop there. Turns out there was an even bigger announcement to be made later that day.

Well, maybe it's not THAT big...

Total Nonstop Action, desperate to replace a departing old timer who doesn't do jobs with an older timer who doesn't do jobs, has signed Hulk Hogan to the company. We now have something to write about for a year. This announcement was made in front of the steps of New York's Madison Square Garden, no doubt a slap in the face of WWE. However, one thing that is lost in all the hullabaloo is that Hogan isn't coming alone. He's bringing some controversy (that creates cash) with him.



Now, we're not sure if Easy E will be an on-screen character for TNA, but we do know that he'll increase the TNA brand. Turns out he's production company has had a pretty impressive resume of television shows in the last few years, and now he has a first look deal with TNA. Expect many reality shows about Hogan training to come back to the ring or Kevin Nash's rehab.

The jury is still out on whether this is a good idea or not, but we're still concerned about Hogan's mental state. He still has his divorce trials, and the Graziano family is about due for a large sum of money after the...unpleasantness. All that being said, take a look at this video from a year ago.



It's easy to call Hogan a fake, but we still choose to believe he wasn't completely joking about the suicide attempt (thank goodness for celebrity friends to name drop!) Even a year after that fateful night, the Hulkster sounds sad. Listen to how he said "Black Hand" in that promo. It had such..reverence.

For those not in the know, Black Hand is a Green Lantern villain who is obsessed with death. He sleeps in a grave. He's a necrophiliac. And also a cannibal.

He's also the head of the Black Lantern Corps, the main antagonists in the DC Comics' event Blackest Night. Yes, in the DCU (earths new-52) the dead are rising; is it possible that Hogan wishes to join the Black Lanterns? Does he wish to feast on all those delicious emotions that reside in the rest of the color spectrum? Only time will tell, but we know this much. The Green Lantern corps should make Orlando, FL the first stop in their Blackest Night investigation.

It's time to build a fence

The Wrestling Interwebz exploded the other day when news broke that TNA had released their top female star, former Knockouts champion, Angelina Love. Why did this happen? Did she get in a backstage altercation with Dixie Carter? Did she smoke a crack pipe in front of Jeff Jarrett? Did she date Kurt Angle? Unfortunately not. Turns out she's a Canadian and she never renewed her work visa.

Red, white, black...CANADIAN COLORS!

Angelina Love's reign of mooching off hard working Americans has finally come to a close. Scratch that. Angelina Love is perfect in every way. Lauren "Angel" Williams is the criminal here. Now you may be saying to yourself "Twins, what's the big deal here? It was a simple paper work SNAFU and it's not like she's hurting anyone. This will be sorted out soon and thanks to TNA's tape schedule, she might not even miss any TV time. Plus, she's got a great rack." Well you know (tm) what, idiot readers? It's a huge deal! Allow us to slap some truth in your faces.

1) She took jerbs away from good ole' Americans.

We here are gracious enough to let her legally work and earn money in our wonderful nation, and this is what she does? If she never had her visa sorted out did she ever pay taxes? That Universal Studios private hospital doesn't pay for itself!

2) She's Canadian. Health care is moot to her.

Shaddup, socialist!

3) TNA will suffer due to this.

Think about the Knockouts division for a second. Now remove your hand from your pants. Who's going to step up to take her spot, especially this abruptly? Who's ready? You could make an argument for Madison Raine, but she was just kicked out of the Beautiful People. Hmm..another egregious offense, if you ask us. So what's Velvet Sky and her fantastic rear supposed to do now? She's possibly so despondent she might even start dating the Hurricane for goddsake. What kind of friend does this to another friend?

4) Orlando area tattoo artists will have less work

Err, maybe not. Orlando and drunk girls seems to be a pretty steady business model.

Business Models

Kudos to President Obama and INS for kicking out another illegal! And kudos on the swift action by TNA management to take care of this issue too. We're sure we don't need to look into Dixie's lawn service now. After all, she testified before Congress! Only honest, hardworking Americans get to do that. Of course, you wouldn't know what that's like, would you, Ms. Williams?

Red, white and boooooooo

A reminder that it's Thursday, and thus another night of TweetNA. In case you didn't follow The Laugh Twins on Twitter during the broadcast of TNA Impact, just head on over to our page, start your DVR (because we know you recorded it) and read along!

Now, sticking with our glut of TNA news, this interesting piece traveled across the wrestling wires today. Hulk Hogan and his friend Brian "Nasty Boy" Knobs were guests on the Bubba the Love Sponge radio program, as they tend to do. After all, what else are they up to? During the show, Bubba called up current TNA World Champion Kurt Angle, and the group chatted a bit.

Hogan suggested the he come to TNA and work an angle with Angle (tee hee), in which Kurt would eventually don America's colors again and turn face. We're not sure if this would involve a match, but one could only imagine what that would be like.


Kurt agreed that it would be a good idea.


The duo got so worked up about the idea, they tried to call TNA president Dixie Carter to pitch the idea to her. Her answering machine picked up the phone instead. Fellas, it's not that she wasn't in; she just saw the caller I.D.

While Kurt was on the phone, he and Hogan also took a little time to talk women...





You know (TM), on second thought, please put these two together for us, TNA. We'd have something to write about for the next year.

LOL, Wresslin' introduces: TweetNA

Occasionally, we Laugh Twins have to admit our own fallibility. We are but two humans. Better humans than you, of course, but humans nonetheless. We have our passions, and we have our biases.

Because of these, we alienate parts of the wrestling world on a regular basis. We laugh at TNA behind the scenes, but rarely on the site. Ring of Honor may as well not exist. Even WWE products get shuffled to the side; we've mentioned WWE Superstars once, only because someone asked us to, and we can't even find ECW on television.

However, all of that is about to change. Well, it changed a couple weeks ago, but we're just now deciding to make it a regular feature. You probably know that we have a Twitter page, and until now, it's only been used to alert you to new posts on the site and very occasionally present a funny aside. No longer, LOL Fans! Today, we officially bring "TweetNA" out of beta and give it to the world!

The basic premise is this: we watch TNA Impact on Spike at 9/8c and we tweet about how silly it is. Groundbreaking, we know, but try to keep up. Sample tweets from our previous outings go like this:

Dear Sting...Affliction shirts look even worse on old men. Stick to
Tommy Bahamas.

If Christy is caught with performance enhancing drugs, can we call them
"Hemmeroids"?

***ALERT*** Kevin Nash tore his bicep signing a contract!!

You get the picture. Along with our own comments, we'll reach out to our long list of TNA tweeters that we're following and get their opinions as well. Take, for instance, this exchange between the Laugh Twins and new TNA color man Taz:

LT: @TNAOnline is taped. You couldn't fix @OfficialTaz's "Bubba" gaff in post?

Taz: @LOL_Wresslin why? Fix what? I'll prob call him Bubba and Brother Ray the rest of the shows going forward!!!

LT: @OfficialTaz: We believe you just let us survive...

Taz: @LOL_Wresslin lol

So you see?? Even the Human Suplex Machine is taking some time out to LOL @ Wresslin! You should too! We'll be there tonight, tweeting our little fingers off!

W.W.W. featuring Voodoo Kin Mafia and Matt Cappotelli

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your poorly constructed debate over the merits of the new DX ain't gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Adam's video to Matt - V.K.M. in Stamford



Matt's response...

So let me get this straight, Voodoo Kin Mafia - you want to rid the wrestling world of dumb skits by way of a dumb skit?


Did I get that right? And also weren't you two in WWE and particpated in several of these skits yourselves?

Ok, ok, I get it. You've turned a new leaf and that's cool. I can respect that.

This, I can't.

Anyway, when it comes to wrestling, I'm pretty much a frontrunner. I only watch WWE, and even within that, I only watch Raw (I don't want to hear how Smackdown is doing some creative stuff these days, either. I have better things to do on Friday night.)


So my finger isn't neccessarily on the pulse of the wrestling world, and I don't really know much about what VKM does over at TNA, because I don't know what anyone does over at TNA (other than one of them ladies is gonna be in Playboy soon.) It's at these times I think we should consult the wrestling fans, i.e. the people who've commented on this YouTube video.

kentJones chimed in two years ago with "LMFAO," which means "laughing my flippin' arse off" in internet language. Seems like a good start. These guys might have something. I didn't LMFAO, but I chuckled. Close enough.

XScarredHeart picks up on the futility displayed in the video when he/she says "He's shouting at a machine. XD" That's so true, XSH. He is shouting at a machine, which is a silly, silly thing to do. And yet, I'm sure I've done it at some point too, making me feel ridiculous seeing my life mirrored in these two. And that little emoticon displaying bewildered exuberance? So true, too.

DisturbedEwok thinks: "I love these skits. Billy and Road Dogg piss all over DX"

Hmm, that's interesting you bring up DX, because I was just thinking about them. I wonder what made me do that. Was it the GPS thing? Nah...I don't remember them doing a skit with that. A Chevy Impala? Not really. Too gangsta for DX. Was it the suggestion they use a tank to invade the other company? I don't think it's that either.

Oh wait, it was.

Originality is TNA's strong suit, after all!


Matt's video to Adam- Matt Cappotelli talks about Bob Holly, Tough Enough, WWE, and more...

Here’s what I don’t get. There’s no way this video is current. Now granted, we don’t run current videos here, but this was uploaded back on Feb 22, 2009. Just a few months ago. Why? This isn’t worth remembering. Sure, it’s promoting something, but something that would have happened years ago. How do I know this? For a few reasons:

1) Matt Cappotelli is labeled as a WWE wrestler and Tough Enough winner. One’s true and one’s technically true. But Tough Enough hasn’t been around for about three years now. Plus, Cappotelli won this in 2003. So why is it still a relevant accomplishment? I bet most wrestling fans don’t even remember it.

2) Let’s go ahead and assume this is current. That this was filmed a few days before the posting date. Well then it’s a lie, because MATT CAPPOTELLI wasn’t a WWE wrestler at the time. He was released from his developmental contract on January 4^th, 2009.

3) Need more proof that this isn’t current? In 2007 he had a brain tumor, pretty much derailing his wrestling career. Now sure, it was successfully removed, and ostensibly, he could have resumed his career two years later, but it’s not the point!

Side note: Cappotelli was a bit of anti-Jeff Farmer because Hardcore Holly worked him a little stiff. So you know what I say about his brain tumor? This.

So yes, the description does state “fresh off his Tough Enough III” win, meaning this video is a bit older, but then I reiterate my point; Why was this posted recently?. It’s about an indy show in Rochester. Nothing remotely memorable.

Also, they interview the man about an interview he did on a radio show he’s a regular on.

About said interview: I know it’s radio, but why are you wearing gloves? Indoors in Rochester can’t be that cold. Still, it’s not all bad. There’s a delightful little minx in the background who is Rochester pretty. Also, we get to hear some great anecdotes about Matt’s favorite trainer and…zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh, and Cappotelli is wearing a stupid Yahoo! logo shirt (further dating this thing). And has a really stupid hair cut. And speaks like a dullard. Honestly, if this was before 2007 I can totally see the tumor at work.

TnA for sure! Part deux.

A few months ago, WWE discontinued their association with Playboy magazine. This was due to Linda McMahon joining the Connecticut Board of Education. You know this. We (hilariously) wrote about this. Still, pervy wrestlewebz sites are all a flutter after this Tweet from TNA's Jeremey Borash.

A TNA Knockout has posed for Playboy.10:41 PM Jul 25th from TwitterFon

Now, we're obviously excited for this news. If theirs one thing we Twins love, it's naked ladies (right...)! Of course, one thing we love even more is a mystery! Who could this brave and sexy knockout be? There are too many to choose from! Thus, we've gone over every photo available of the TNA Knockouts, and we've evaluated their strong points and some of their weaker points. So put on your silk robes because we're playing Hef!

The Beautiful People


The clear cut, top of the list, #1 with a bullet for the majority of male TNA fans. All three of them would probably sell very well for Playboy. However, JB said "a Knockout." which makes us think that this triple team has been disqualified. But that doesn't mean any one of them couldn't have done it.

Angelina Love


Pros: Knockouts champion. Tall, tan, blond. Best body of the BP's.
Cons: Leathery skin. Heel character wouldn't do this for the fans. Could be interesting dynamic though where she yells at the fans for being perverts who "jerk off to her" or something.
Odds: 1/100

Velvet Sky


Pros: Great ass. Overall a very pretty girl. Probably shaves. Does not have intimidating, muscular body.
Cons: Heel character again. Trashy tattoos are not usually Playboy style, although could be easily airbrushed.
Odds: 1/75

Madison Rayne

Pros: Has the "girl next door" aesthetic that Playboy loves so much. Loves America as evidenced by above picture. A clear favorite of the LT's.
Cons: Buckteeth. Outdated hair style and coloring. Who?
Odds: 1/300

Christy Hemme

Note: Matt's favorite

Pros: No obvious physical flaws. Fiery red hair. Has been in Playboy before. Not in any particular storyline, which means this could be a good way to reintroduce her to television.
Cons: Once farted a pie.
Odds: 1/15

Awesome Kong


Pros: Bold choice. Would earn TNA loads of good publicity with women's groups.
Cons: Seriously?
Odds: 1/infinity.

Tara


Pros: One of the more noticeable faces in TNA, due to her time in WWE. In tremendous shape. Would love to see a knee brace in a Playboy spread.
Cons: Left WWE over the abundance of models in their women's division, so this does not seem like a career move she'd make. One of the more noticeable faces, if you catch our meaning.
Odds: 1/500

Raisha Sayid


Pros: Actually looks like this:
Cons: No one knows that. Character is an Islamic woman who wears a burka, so that would not go over well with Islamic groups.
Odds: 1/10,000

Sharmell


Pros: Beautiful woman. In the main stable of TNA, so good promotion for TNA.
Cons: Character is a bit stuck up, so it wouldn't jive. Real life wife of Booker T, so unsure how that conversation would go. Heel.
Odds: 1/8000

Jenna Morasca


Pros: Another beautiful woman. Has mainstream celebrity appeal (well, kinda). Previously posed for Playboy.
Cons: A woman from Survivor is not what people should think about when they think of "TNA."
Odds: 1/50

Taylor Wilde


Pros: Spunky face wrestler with large chest. Blond fits that Playboy aesthetic. On the show every week so this could be the start of a big push.
Cons: Has kind of a "retard hot" thing going on.
Odds: 1/250

ODB

Our sentiments exactly

Pros: Large chest. Could have a fun pictorial involving trailers
Cons: Large everything else.
Odds: 1/1000


So Cal Val


Pros: Has done enough of the type of modeling where at this point, it's really a matter of time to image her naked. A butt that won't quit.
Cons: BUTTER FACE
Odds: 1/10

Daffney

Note: Adam's favorite

Pros: Different look. Large chest. Could certainly clean up well.
Cons: Too many tattoos for Playboy. Heel.
Odds: 1/85

Traci Brooks

Pros: Large chest. Has done enough of the type of modeling where this isn't a stretch. Just returned to television to join "Main Even Mafia" so timing seems coincidental.
Cons: Man face. Awful boobjob with cleavage about a mile wide.
Odds: 1/2 (Playboy has done much worse)

Above: Much worse

Dixie Carter


Pros: Smart, sassy, and sexy as hell. MILF quality.
Cons: Not actually on TNA television.
Odds: Only in dreams.

So what do you fellas think? Who do you want to see? Did anyone actually know that Playboy is still published?