W.W.W. featuring Kane/X-Pac and Jake Roberts

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your tribute to dead wrestlers (that's most of YouTube, we think) ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Matt's video to Adam- Kane vs X (sic) Pac Promo



Adam's response

Wrestling gets a lot of flack lately for going too far into the past. WWE brought back Bret Hart, TNA is just the old NWO and WWE midcarders who never did anything about get injured and kiss boys (and Ric Flair.) Still, sometimes the past isn't always as rosy as we remember it. The last "golden age of wrestling" had its fair share of past ripoffs. Much like this Kane/X-Pac feud from 2000.

Sure, it's the typical "friend turns on other friend by stealing his woman" story. That's a wrestling foundation and by no means is that a rip off. No, what is the ripoff is the basic idea behind the story. And as is clear, this entire story is just Harry and the Hendersons.

It's actually obvious, really

Let's see. Monster (Kane) finds family (DX) who want to exploit him, but eventually learn to love him? Yea, I saw this before in a John Lithgow masterpiece not named Footloose. Try again, WWE writers.

Of course, the main reason Matt sent me this video is to have me rip on X-Pac. So I'm going to just show you the silliest things this drug addict did here.

1) Overalls

2) Taking the female position in a kiss

Of course, that last one really just foreshadowed to another classic film.

Is this what Tori meant when she said "X-Pac in one word? Gentleman"?

Adam's video to Matt - Jake Roberts interview

Matt's response...

This has got to go down in history as the most uncomfortable interview set ever. The three look like they're wedged into the bench seat of a 1981 Chevrolet truck, with Paul Ellering somehow riding in the bed, poking his head through the back window. I don't know, that's kind of where my analogy breaks down...just like an old truck! Anyway, my point is it's ridiculously cramped on set. I know I've said this numerous times on all sorts of different occasions, but I still feel justified suggesting they just kiss and get it over with already.

Except for Bill Apter. He's totally straight.

I'd like to send a letter to that address at the end, just to see what happens. In fact, we should do that, as a little prank from the LOLiverse. Ask a question pertinent to 1984 as well, such as the ramifications of Vince McMahon buying Georgia Championship Wrestling from the Briscos, or maybe how we think this new kid Scott Hall is going to be a real straight shooter. Maybe they'll think it got lost in the mail or something. That would be a cute prank. Also, include some anthrax.

Kimonos are not used enough in wrestling these days. Is that not a manly thing to wear? Precious Paul sure seems to pull it off. I wouldn't mess with the dude. He just stands there, wearing his kimono and working on a crossword or something. That's tough. So I'd like to see more of that. At least make the divas have a geisha match or something. Slutty geishas, of course.

Let's fact check Jake here for a second: he guarantees that he will be the TV champion again. Wanna guess how that turned out? He didn't get it. Now, he would go to WCCW and win their TV title, but that's not really the same thing. However, I guess he's techincally correct. Checkmate, Snake.

Interesting note about the match their talking about: Ronny Garvin wanted to challenge Jake for that TV title, but the Snake wouldn't budge, probably because he knew he was supposed to lose it. So Garvin had to mortgage his house to pay Jake enought money to get him to take the match. I like that. These days, guys are just handed title matches like it's nothing. Sure they win a little bit or something to get there, but they really don't put a whole lot on the line. Garvin could have been homeless if this whole thing didn't work out. I think that's a pretty good story.

The ironic thing is now Jake's the one that's pretty much homeless.

He does drugs, is incoherent, and shows his penis to strangers...that's homeless.