Wednesday, June 3, 2009

W.W.W. featuring A ladies' ladder match and The New Age Outlaws vs The Outsiders

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so the million "Ric Flair, leave the memories alone!" music videos a'int gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.


Adam's video to Matt - The Glamazon Beth Phoenix vs. Katie Lea Ladder Match



Matt's response....

Yes yes, LOL Fans, you can rest easy now. I, Laugh Twin Matt, have returned from the mouth of death itself and can finally sit myself in front of a computer and type a few humorous words for your enjoyment. I know you had me in your thoughts and dreams (more than usual) and now you can put away your praying devices and breathe a sigh of relief.

And what has drawn me back to the folds of this lovely interwebs space?

A women's title match from OVW.

Are. You. Kidding. Me?

It doesn't even feature one twice-named hottie from Raw. Adam, if you're going to send me a women's match, at least send me something to look at.

Please take note. And call me?

Not that Beth Pheonix or Katie Lea are particularly ugly. Well, Katie at least. Beth could take a few trips through a De-Maninizer. But alright, let's see what this has in store.

I'll sum this up in two words: pretty awesome. Yeah, I know, put a ladder in any match and people will say "That was so EXTREME!" That's pretty much the formula that WWE lives by these days. But there are those that do ladder matches well and those that don't. These broads fall into the first category.

However, I'm not going to say much more on that. You can watch the match yourself. That's not why you come to LOL, Wresslin'. You come to see us point out the things you might have missed. The small details that slip past other "blogs" and fall into our lap clean and crisp and ready to be revealed to the world. Which is why I'll talk instead about the announcers.

You know we hate announcers around here. So much, in fact, that there's no point to do our usual bit of hyperlinking to other genius content that we've written, because we talk about how much we hate announcers all the time. Now, I could pretend that I'm a super fan and tell you these guys' names, since I somehow find OVW on television and watch it all the time. I'd pull this off by going to Wikipedia or something like that. But no, I don't care that much about them. Let's just call them Mush Mouth and Rosco P. Coltrane.

Not the dog.

Let me break down some of the stupidest things they said:

"That 150 pound ladder" - I'll admit to all you reading that I've never actually weighed a ladder, but I've carried some around, and there's no way any of them weighed anywhere near 150 pounds. That's just ridiculous. Unless they bought it from England, and I have a hard time understanding why OVW would spend over three hundred dollars on an imported ladder.

"She combined high risk and maximum risk" - Now, how exactly do you do that? You'd think maximum risk would be, you know, the maximum. I can see how you'd combine medium risk and high risk and maybe get something approximating maximum risk, though I'm not sure how you quantify that.

"Jeez o pete!" - Shut up. Just shut the hell up.

"Into the gut of Katie Lea" - I understand what you're going for here, and sure, on anyone that area would be called "the gut," but I find it hard to say that about the delicious Katie Lea. Can't you just say "stomach" or "tum tum"? Let's not conjure up images of Umaga here.

"Steven Hawking may be breathing, but he ain't getting up!" - Really? Really? We say some borderline insensitive things here, but really? I don't know. Something about him being a world-reknowned scientist makes it feel a little weird that he be ridiculed during an OVW match. Just sayin'.


Matt's Video to Adam- BG James and Kip James vs Kevin Nash and Scott Hall



Adam's response...


Dear Great Lakes Championship Wrestling,

It has come to our attention that you have made unauthorized use of our copyrighted works on your March 21, 2009 "Two Worlds Two Sweet!" live event which was video taped for distribution. We have reserved all rights on these works, first published in 1998. Your work is essentially identical to our work and used our work as its basis. The violations are as follows:

  • Performer Brian Gerard James (aka B.G. James, aka The Road Dogg Jesse James, aka The Roadie) reciting catchphrases and mannerisms popularized during his tenure while employed in World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE).
  • Mr. James referred to fellow performer Monty Sopp (aka Kip James, aka Mr. Ass, aka Billy Gunn) as "Billy Gunn", a name owned by WWE.
  • Mr. James continued to refer to his partnership with Mr. Sopp as "The New Age Outlaws" a name owned by WWE
  • Performers Scott Hall and Kevin Nash walked to the ring to the "nWo Wolfpac" theme music, an asset purchased by WWE on March 23, 2001.
  • Although Mr. Sopp and Mr. James were advertised as "B.G. James and Kip James", commentators on the video referred to them as "The Road Dogg", "Billy Gunn", and "Team DX", all of which are owned by WWE.
Additionally, although not direct copyright violations, your usage of a slow, injury prone Kevin Nash, and slow, drunk Scott Hall who oversells/no sells (somehow that's possible) are previously used ideas that we feel strengthen our case. Instances such as Mr. James referring to him and his partner as "seven time WWF tag team champions" are irrelevant, since we do not know what a World Wildlife Fund tag team champion is. The only original idea you had was booking Scott Hall and him not no-showing the event.

As you neither asked for nor received permission to use WWE property as the basis for "Two Worlds Two Sweet", nor to make electronic copies of the same, we believe you have willfully infringed upon our rights under 17 U.S.C. Section 101 et seq. and could be liable for statutory damages paid by the attendance and tape sales [we estimate this to be about three thousand dollars ($3,000).]

Very truly yours,

World Wrestling Entertainment

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