So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.
Better at naming stuff than us. The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your poorly-edited explanation of Chris Jericho's "Save.Us" promos ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.
After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Adam's video to Matt - Rob Van Dam and Booker T's Rocking New Year's Eve
Matt's response...
You know what I like about RVD? Well, first, I'll tell you that there's not too many things I like about him, period. His wrestling, while athletic and daring, is mostly stale, and he's in the bottom one percent for mic skills. Seriously, I think the Great Khali is better, and the most that he's said is screaming incoherently at telephones. I don't find him an entertaining character in the least, but other people do, and I think that those other people are stupid.
However, I'll tell you what I do like about him, and that's that he doesn't give a shit. RVD's job is to wrestle, and he's lost that job in the past because of his frequent, and public, drug use. Despite this, his user name on YouTube is "RVDTV420." 420, really? You know who celebrates 420, RVD? College students and the unemployed.
Let me amend that. Those are not the only people who celebrate 420; those are just the only people that it's somewhat acceptable that they should celebrate it.
Oh, and heads of state. Here's another thing: this is a New Year's Eve video, presumably shot on New Year's Eve, and directly relevant to New Year's Eve. When did RVD think it was appropriate to post this 47 second descent into a pot-fueled madness? June 1st, 2009. Somehow, we're more timely than he is.
Also, where the hell is the Masterpiece? What has he got better to do? Why wouldn't you want to hang out with a bunch of guys who indulge you and actually refer to you as "The Masterpiece"?
Speaking of the Masterpiece, while "researching" this article, I came across the unofficial Chris Masters website, the banner of which informs me that Masters had sexual intercourse with my mother. I'm not sure how this fellow who runs the site would have that sort of information, but I'm just going to assume it's validity. MASTERBURN~! ONLINE also says that the Masterpiece hates HBO television series, and his penis is desired by no less than eight "hot" celebrities, such as Tara Reid, Alanis Morrisette, and Shannon Elizabeth.
This site is either the greatest true fan page in history, or a well-crafted satire, and I wish that somehow it's both, because it's genius on either level. For instance, we're given the definition of Masterglitter:
Masters's robe is made of glitter. When Masters takes the robe off, you can see bits of glitter on his awesome shoulders. That my friends, is Masterglitter.
He also gives us a few Masterburns, meaning times when Chris Masters totally put someone in their place, such as:
"Go ahead and have a seat, sir."
and...
"I got this one-way ticket to anywhere in the United States, because let's face it, anywhere is better than being in Omaha, Nebraska."
Well, RVD, Chris Masters didn't show up to your NYE party, so you might as well consider yourself Masterburned. Face! Masterface!
Matt's video to Adam- Black Machismo Jay Lethal Interview
Adam's response...
The video game TNA Impact! was released on September 9th, 2008. MikeReganGR (the interviewer in the video) decided to post this video to Youtube.
Listen, I can't blame him for keeping this one on the shelf for a while; it's pretty terrible. First off, his mic is WAY too hot. Second, he's a fat mess who should be....well something rather than seen. I mean, how could we miss something THAT huge, but you catch my drift.
Of course, Mr. Regan is not the only not-ready-for-prime-time player. No, Mr. Lethal is pretty terrible as well. Here are his first few words:
"Well....uhhh...so faruh...we've doneuh, um, the motion capture. Mo-cap is what they call it. "
Things noticeably pick up when discussion turns to The Machoman Randy Savage. And why shouldn't it? The Machoman is the best thing to ever happen to professional wrestling. Not Hogan. Not Bret. Not even LOL, Wresslin. Nope, it's Macho.
Seriously, in addition to being a former world champion, thespian, and Slim Jim endorser, he's also a master rapper. You know (tm) this. This is also why we here love Jay Lethal.
Yes, Mr Lethal is one of the 3,000 crazies who actually own Be a Man. I can send Jay Lethal a text message (we're both from New Jersey, natch) that says "Solemn Piano" and he will text me back "In today's news, Macho Man Randy Savage has signed a recording contract with Big 3 Records as a rap artist." Be a Man is a bond thicker then blood.
Also, Jay Lethal says he's not good at rapping, which is stupid because he's black.
Also stupid: Christopher Daniels cutting a promo to a venue that no one will ever see.
Even more stupid: Lethal saying that Hogan should "be a man." He's your boss now, dude.
Although that never stopped one guy
No comments:
Post a Comment