W.W.W. featuring Headlock on Hunger and Kelly Kelly

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your custom Bret Favre titantron isn't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.


Matt's video to Adam- WWF Headlock on Hunger!


Adam's response...

Right now there is a lot of attention placed on charity and social activism, so it's of little surprise that Matt sent me this video about WWF's charitable endeavors. Don't worry. I won't be making any Haiti jokes. Not because I find them inappropriate, but because I'm really not clever enough to come up with anything funnier than "Earthquake, lulz."

Still, even the Laugh Twins have a bit of a conscious and I find it a tad tacky to talk about the deaths of seven million people (lulz?), so just know that there are many ways to donate and we won't link to them because, well what's the point? If you come here for breaking news on Haiti, well, thanks, I guess.

On to the topic at hand! Headlock on Hunger!

(t-b) Headlock, hunger

As far as charity drives go, this one sucks. It just seems as if no one has a clue what to do. Take a look at our opener, Tatanka:

"This is Tatanka, and my people speak to the Great Spirit for blessings! We at the World Wrestling Federation appreciate your help for people that are less fortunate than us. Lets get a hold on headlock for hunger! YIYIYIYIYIYIYYYYI!"

That first sentence has nothing to do with anything. And then he gets the slogan wrong, by saying "get a hold on headlock for hunger!." But you know (tm) what the real travesty is? This is pretaped! Someone could easily have said "Hey Chris, umm, let's do that again. And it's 'Put a Headlock on Hunger!' Ok, Headlock on Hunger promo take two and....action!" But nope, they just did one.

The second stars of this were of course Paul Bearer and The Undertaker. Apparently all the hungry people dying in Somalia are causing the Undertaker to have too much of a workload so he needs these people to eat a sandwich. Way to trivialize a very serious issue, Titan Sports.

Of course, the next great star of this piece is none other than Irwin R Shyster, IRS himself!

Scott Hall thinks that that is his bar tab

Look at him, staring at that huge, tax deductible check. He's so angry. Oooo, the heel heat he must be getting right now! If anything, he wants Somalia to job to hunger!

But the real stars of this piece? Why, all the champions in the crowd.


Seriously, if any of these greedy asses would stop buying gold belts and donate that money Somalia could eat for a decade.


Adam's video to Matt - Kelly Kelly trying to be a news anchor



Matt's response...


I suppose a little bit of disclosure is needed here. I've just been terrible at providing content this week. I didn't get up a recap on Monday and even this bit is late. I could blame it on a number of different things that I've had to deal with this week (not the least of which was my birthday on Monday - thanks for the well wishes, readers! /sarcasm), but honestly, it's just poor time management. For that....well, I'm not really all that sorry. What do you want for free comedy? Pay me, and then we'll start to talk priorities.

On to the video. Anyone remember Channel One? I'm not sure how ubiquitous that was, but if you went to school with me, you knew about Channel One. Quite simply, it was a short news program for kids in school. The good part was we got to take time out of our day to watch the thing, and it wasn't necessarily that bad. A lot of big talent either came up through Channel One, or lended their time to it, like Anderson Cooper, Dan Rather, Maria Menounos (former Raw co-host!) and Lisa Ling. Essentially, it was a dumbed down news show which attempted to keep you up-to-date with world events, and would also include little bits about "cool" sports and "fun" activities.

Excuse me while I make a masturbatory motion with my hand in mid-air.

Somehow I can't help but wonder what would have happened to Kelly Kelly had she gone the Channel One route. We'd have to work with her delivery though...

Let's bring that paper down just a bit, k?

Overall, I guess I would give her a B- on this performance, greatly held up by the fact that she's stupid hot.

Now, as for "This is Genius"? I think I might disagree with that title. Cute enough idea for a bit, I guess, but in the end, what do you have? A couple of people cracking up over a story about tanning salons. Wooo-hoo. That's good television, hipster lumberjack.

He's ok.

At the very least, have her read a story that you can later edit to make it sound like she said something dirty to you. Now that would be genius, my friend. "This is Amateur" is what the show should be called.

Or Wrestlegasm.