OH BABY, I like it Raw! Breaking Point Bragging Rights

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

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That annual WWE tradition of "Bragging Rights" has come and gone, and what have we learned? Well, we now know who the real Jannetty II is, and just what makes a "no holds barred" Ironman match different from other matches, which is nothing.


We'll start with the Miz versus John Morrison, which is, ostensibly, about who is the bigger douche. I can tell you that from the get-go.

Hint: It's not him. And will you look at those abs. HOT FLASHES!

This whole match was built on two premises: 1) We care about who wins, and 2) The loser is destined to amount to nothing. They did this by bringing up the old name of Marty Jannetty, which in kayfabe speak means "has-been." Of course, despite all this, Jannetty wasn't above showing his face on last week's Raw and letting Miz get the 1-2-3 on him. I suppose it's refreshing to know that anytime a young buck needs a solid win over an old-timer, we can count on Marty to go out and give them a decent match for a decent payday.


So pretty much, someone's legacy is on the line here at "Bragging Rights." One will go on to be one of the most legendary performers in the business, and the other will become "that guy that got kicked through that window one time."

Even Vegas doesn't know what to do with this one.

I'll spare you the details and just say that...MIZ PULLED OUT THE WIN!!! GO RAW!!! MONDAY NIGHTS ARE BACK, ASSHOLES!!!

I suppose, however, my excitement should be tempered a bit because of the fact it was Miz that won, but whatever.

Damn it, even his mouthpiece is douchey.

The other big match for Raw would be this Ironman for the WWE Championship. This would be special because the rules are there are no rules! That's right! This is going to get crazy, and quick! So I'll take you step-by-step through the each fall of the match so you can see just what madness you missed!


Cena 1-0


Orton would later RKO. Tied 1-1


Orton reversed an Attitude Adjustment into an RKO, but both would score a pin. Tied 2-2.
Followed by an extreme Attitude Adjustment from the ropes. Cena 3-2.


Legacy interference. Tied 3-3.


Orton throws Cena through stage lighting, then pins. Orton 4-3.

Randy would then try to show Cena what it's like to be Kane, and fired off a pyro in an attempt to ignite Mr. Cena, but ultimately failed at that. Just ask Undertaker how it's done next time.

Cena would roll Orton into a small package for the next pinfall, but since there is no pictured in the universe titled "Randy Orton small package," just use your imagination. Tied 4-4.


Alright, here's where things really would get extreme, as Orton DDT'd Cena on the floor for a pin, taking the lead 5-4. Cena would then back-to-back an Attitude Adjustment through a table (just how many times does Orton need his attitude adjusted??) and then an STF for the final decision to win 6-5. So now the WWE Title has changed hands more than a football in a Detroit Lions game (Thanks Blumberg!)

Finally there's that little matter of the Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown match, but I won't really go into that. I'll allow guest blogger Kelly Kelly to give you the rundown of that one, submitted to us via Twitter:

Team Raw didn't win. Team Smackdown dominated us. That's alright, we still have the better show!! Ha.

Well played, K-Twice. Well played indeed.

Tune in tonight for post-bragging action! USA, 9/8c!!