R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Earning the right to brag

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post please press play and enjoy



Now, before I get you all ready for tonight's Smackdown (and in turn, Bragging Rights), I need to make note of something. This is LOL, Wresslin's 300th post!!!!!1shiftoneonebar-be-que11!! Please go to our register to purchase gifts.

ANYWAY

We take one week off and Nancy O'Dell causes everything to go to hell. Yessir, that "massive" Divas trade, to which I think Smackdown came out swimmingly. Gone is the boneless wonder Melina and that oddly appealing Eve, enter in "fat" Mickie James and "ugly" Beth Phoenix. Yes, I'm fairly pleased with this.

Now, we all know my love for Michelle McCool. Well, not anymore. Mickie James, dropped off work rate and all, is the new top lady of Friday! Don't get me wrong. McCool still has amazing abs and glorious fake boobs (with cleavage the size of the Grand Canyon), but something about finding the Undertaker sexually attractive turns me off to her. Plus, all that faith blah blah. So don't get me wrong, Michelle McCool, you're great. But whereas you gave me this:

Something something tight end.

Mickie James gave me this:


Speaking of a gaping vagina, The Miz and John Morrison reunited for a live rendition of their old talk show The Dirt Sheet (insiderish!). Turns out they have a match this Sunday (for bragging rights!), so it's time to argue over who most resembles Marty Janetty. Seriously, all the Jannety hate got sort of out of hand (not so out of hand that Janetty wouldn't go out and take a payday to job to the Miz on the Raw this past Monday, but still).

"Just because Marty Janetty is a former IC champ doesn't mean I'm the more Janetish!"

Still, considering how this is Smackdown, and Morrison is the face, guess who got the last laugh?






There were a bunch of matches to see who qualified for Team Smackdown at the PPV, but I read this week's Smackdown spoilers, and well, they're all kind of worthless now.


Anyway, best friends forever, who surely would never turn on each other for a chance at the World title this Sunday at Bragging Rights, Batista and Rey Mysterio, wrestled Mano e Mano last Friday. As usual, the interns at WWE.com did not disappoint with their captions.

Brothers, really? Does that explain the bunk beds and matching footie pajamas?

When did Rey hail from Russia? And what arms are we talking about? These arms?

Here's a caption I came up with: "The Animal mounts his prey for a late night hookup"

So the match was fine for what it was. Rey hit the most telegraphed finisher ever to get the win. BUT WAIT! Controversy! Seems Batista got his shoulder up, but the ref missed it! Why are referees always so incompetent? It's almost as if wrestling isn't legitimate! Or the ALCS for that matter! Of course, the Animal did not appreciate this.


And then CM Punk attacked Rey Mysterio for some reason.

Anyway, Smackdown is airing tonight from some city in the Northeast most likely. Be sure to watch it for some madcap hijincks on our way to this Sunday! MyNetwork TV, 8/7c or hulu.com! Here's to 300 more!