Monday, September 14, 2009

OH BABY, I like it Raw! Breaking Point

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



Last night was WWE's first ever Breaking Point pay-per-view. Did we reach our breaking point at the end of it all? I'll tell you.

But first, a quick note about Raw last week. Nice work, Bob Barker. A fun show, and despite not always knowing what you were doing, you proved yourself as a top-notch entertainer and host. I applaud you!

Now, enough with that old fart. Time for submission action!! Our first match of the night is a tag match between the champs, Big Show and Jericho, and newcomers MVP and Mark Henry, and it ends on a pin, not submission. Way to be consistent!

I think Jericho reached his "breaking point" having to lift Mark Henry's leg.

The new kids got in some offense, but leave it up to the craft veterans to turn the tide in their favor. And what tricks did they have up their sleeve? Punching Mark Henry in the face. I guess the old ways are still the best.


Another match, another standard finish. Maybe I'm not understanding what the WWE is doing here. This one was Kofi Kingston versus the Miz for the United States Title. Anyone who thinks that strap is going on the Miz is an idiot and needs to get off the internet immediately.

So weak, Kofi is even laughing.

This one ended like so many Miz matches do...


...with him on his back about to suck his thumb. Kofi is still the United States champion, so you can rest easy tonight, child.

Finally a submission match! DX and Legacy, and you know sparks fly when these boys get to play! Because this is Canada, things go a little different here. They don't cheer for our American heroes, so plenty of "boos" were heard when Triple H and HBK took the ring.

Not pictured: People cheering for Degeneration-X

Trips didn't help the atmosphere by bringing up a certain "Montreal Screw-job" during his time on the mic pre-match.


Since this is a "Submissions Count Anywhere" match, the action was quickly taken outside the ring, until finally, Codes and Michaels were brawling in the stands. Cody pushed Shawn off the ledge, in a spot that was so totally not pre-planned.


The young lions eventually cornered Michaels in the ring, with Triple H down on the outside due to a weak chair shot. Cody applied the Figure-Four while Teddy chipped in with the Million Dollar Dream, and Shawn tapped out.

I think Ted is genuinely surprised.

Finally it was time for the "I Quit" match with John Cena and Randy Orton. These two brawled for a quite a while, with some pretty powerful shots being handed out on both ends. Eventually, Orton would handcuff Cena, using cuffs with a comically long chain.


This would comeback to haunt Orton, seeing as how Cena would handcuff himself to Randy and then use it choke Orton out.


And there it is! I quit! John Cena is your not-so-new WWE Champion!

Be sure to tune in tonight when the most lovely Diva ever, Trish Stratus, is our guest host. I'll be typing next week's with one hand. USA at 9/8c!

3 comments:

Unknown said...

I too will be recapping this week's Raw with one hand. WHAT? It's Trish! She was the first woman for whom I said "if I had to sleep with one girl to save my life, she'd be the one."

Tom in the Philippines said...

haha ray you're funny as ever! But twins, am I the only one who thinks that Shawn Michaels looks dreadful right now and needs to quit? I mean it seems like he's "lost his smile" again, but he's also lost his muscles and his moves. His moveset is now as limited as his tag team partner. I loved shawn m in the rockers, and then with his heel turn and his slow move up the card, but now, he looks ... not good to be honest!

Adam and Matt, The LOL, Wresslin' Laugh Twins said...

@ Ray: Nice to know that you're so principled you won't munch box for anything less then a 10.

Something tells us that if you're life depends on it, you don't really get a choice.

@ Tom: No promoting of Ray here on the LOL, W! And "losing his smile" was just code for "faking a back injury."