W.W.W. featuring Sami Callahan and Bret Hart

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your how-to on making an Iron Sheik Halloween costume ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Adam's video to Matt - Sami Callihan vs. the Airhorns



Matt's response...

I'll be honest: the only reason I'm familiar with CZW, or Combat Zone Wrestling, because it was featured in The Wrestler when Mickey Rourke's character wrestled a stand-up fellow by the name of Necro Butcher. What that means, I don't know.


I set out to learn some more about CZW by checking out their Wikipedia page, but it became clear that it was written by someone in their PR department, if they have one. Take, for instance, the entry titled "Zandig hanging incident," where someone was hung above the ring by meathooks during a show.

The aftermath of the incident was negative, many fans even vowed never to attend a CZW show again. The company remained successful that year and had a sold out crowd for their annual Cage of Death show.

Take that, you fans with a sense of decency!

They also have a tag team named "2 Girls 1 Cup." Ok, ok. I get it. You're disgusting.

I can't really talk about their quality of wrestling, since that's not showcased here. No, what we get is a look inside the mind of the CZW fan. I don't care much about this Sami Callihan character; he's a douchebag and he's just one guy. However, the fans demonstrate that they are, in fact, scraped up from the bottom of the barrel.

Apparently, the airhorn is a thing in this promotion. They blow it during a big spot, such as when someone gets smashed with a fluorescent light bulb. But here, they've turned the tables on the wrestlers! They're going to blow it during a promo, if you can call it that.

This is what really turns me off to this whole thing, and why WWE will always be better. Sure the fans get a little rowdy from time to time, but for the most part we respect the product and enjoy watching it. It seems these guys just want to come and screw with the show. A show that, no matter how "hardcore" you think it is, is no more than backyard wrestling moved indoors, and that's only sometimes. Whatever you all think about WWE wrestlers, they can do more with a mic and without throwing each other through a pane of glass or into an electrified fence. That's not cutting edge or trendsetting. That's an easy way out.

They did, however, have a moment where there were competing "Asshole" and "Shut the fuck up" chants, and that's kinda cool.

Matt's video to Adam- Bret Hart Drawing Cartoons



Adam's response...

Bret Hart must have had a stroke in 1993.

That's the only explanation as to why he thinks he can draw. It has nothing to do with the fact that he does cartoon art either. I collect cartoon and comic art. I commission it from artists in the industry. So I should be sympathetic towards the Hitman's "talents." However, I'm not because he's really just awful.

Take for example, his sketch of the Undertaker.

And there's his sniveling, money tight, store owner Jew accomplice, Irwin R. Shyster.

Is that the Undertaker or an Islamic newspaper's political cartoon depiction of a rabbi? How about some more racial sensitivity from the Excellence of Execution?

"Me so solly, Hitman-son!"

That's Mr. Fugi? Maybe in a 1940's Disney/Loony Tunes cartoon it would be, but not 1993. Now, I know Mr. Fugi is a heel, and WWF was/is not the fore front of racial relations, but really Bret? You think that's ok to publicize? Still, it's not just your intent that's awful. Look at these two:

And there's the other Irwin R .Shyster ! One guess as to how I knew that.

This is actually a court room artist's rendition of how the divorce trial went.

You know (tm) how you can tell when an impression is bad? When it opens up with "I'm (X)!" The whole point of the impression is that the voice is immediately recognizable. So by writing "IRS" on a brief case, well, sort of negates the drawing, doesn't it Most Tragic Man Ever? Or how about, just in case someone misses the "Hulk" on the shirt, well it's also on the headband too!

Also, when you attest that Money Inc. doesn't like your drawings, well it's probably because they suck. Not because you're exaggerating Ted Dibase's nose.

Now, this is not to say that it's all bad. I give credit where its due (I am tough but fair!). First, you sketch in pen/marker, which is impressive. You also work off no photo reference, so the exaggerations can be expected a little. But it seems rather disingenuous when he's preaching that "everyone can do something" and for him that's art. I'm all for the sentiment that everyone can do something. Picasso can do art, I play a pretty mean bass guitar, Matt has his belly dancing, and Bret is a wrestler. Not an artist. Not a cartoonist. But a wrestler.

And possibly a doodler who could find a backup career doing caricatures on the Santa Monica pier.

By labeling this "Bret Hart" I kind of negate my above impression point.