R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Breaking Point

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

There was a PPV last week! A gimmick PPV! And it took place in Montreal, which has the gimmick of being a heel in a heel country! ZANINESS!!!

The first gimmick match of the night involved The Great Khali and cane KANE! in a Singapore KANE! cane match.

Above: KANE!s canes

Anyway, I took a piss and really had no interest in this clusterF of wrestling, but I can pretty much sum up the entire match with this metaphor:

CaneKANE! and his KANE! cane are cane KANE! and the KANE! cane and The Great Khali is my eyes.

So yea, a choke slam happened and cane KANE! picked up his second straight victory over the FORMER WORLD CHAMPION.


The first ever Intercontinental champion, Pat Patterson, came out to say hello to his hometown fans. A nice moment of gratitude from WWE, if I must say so.


For some reason this upset Dolph Ziggler. And coincidentally enough, he happens to be #1 contender for the Intercontinental title.

Speaking of fancy, nice Zubaz vest, Zigga.

So how do you get ahead on Earth-53? Well the easy answer is to assault someone. But if you really want to succeed? Really get ahead? ASSAULT the elderly!

"You might have it free, but try seeing a doctor in a prompt manner!"

Yes, a good old fashioned hate crime over an old man's lifestyle is a sure fire way to get at dem millions. Of course, he couldn't finish turning Pat Patterson into Mathew Sheppard, because John Morrison had to stick his nose in there. And hey! He has to defend the his title against Ziggler at an as of yet undetermined date!


Finally, there needs to be some reason this PPV was named "Breaking Point." Yes, it was a submissions PPV. First of it's kind. So let's throw in two tacticians who have long abandoned their submission finishers for "impact" moves into the World Title main event.


Also, in WWE's infinite wisdom, this match got started late and only got about nine minutes (well John Cena had to sleep through his "No"'s!). Basically, Undertaker slapped on his Hell's Gate chokehold and won the world title.

I think Punk is choking on something else in that hold...

BUT THERE'S A TWIST!

Yes, logic actually entered the picture for once. Smackdown GM Teddy Long came out and had to inform the Undertaker that his Hell's Gate finisher was in fact illegal, as deemed by Vickie Guerrero a year ago during her time as Smackdown GM. WOW! Things were actually remembered!


Now, normally this should have been an instant DQ, since Taker's move is illegal. However, Teddy Long may be tough, but he's also fair. The match would just have to restart. To which CM Punk wasted no time slapping on his Anaconda Vice TO WHICH THE UNDERTAKER IMMEDIATELY TAPPED OUT TO!

Seems legit. Pictures don't lie, folks.

Now sure, some people may make the case that Taker just placed his hand on the mat and didn't actually tap. That the ref just rang the bell quickly, thereby screwing the Undertaker and making him job to Punk. Really guys? A screw job finish? In Montreal of all places? That's been done before! When does wrestling ever repeat itself?

Plus, why would WWE want to not get over the gimmick of this inaugural PPV event by having a screwjob in the main event? Surely they wouldn't devalue their brand like that!


Come watch the fallout at tonight's Smackdown. World title resolutions are of the utmost importance. And maybe Jimmy Wang Yang will respond to getting beaten up by Punk? Oh, and one other thing is happening: