R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Consumed in Controversy

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

What Smackdown lacks in Cedrics it more than makes up for in the Entertain(ment). And by entertainment, I of course mean THE ANIMAL, BATISTA!!!!


Yes, he has walked alone into that Pit of Danger known only as Friday Night Smackdown! No longer will he be shackled by the HHH/Cena/Orton love triangle! No longer will a midget and fake Italian steal his mic time! Time now for the big Gunz! Of course, before all that could happen, Mr. Monotone "I have a shitty metal band" himself, Chris Jericho had to stick his well dressed nose into the proceedings. It went something like this:

Lifted from P-Boink

So yea...they'll have a match later tonight (last week!).

Of course, thanks to the magic of editorial decisions, I'm going to talk about it right now! Basically, it was full of as much homo eroticism as I could possibly handle and Jericho made Batista look good.

Yes Batista, you look very good like that.

Trust me. It's Batista doing that move on Jericho.

And what, you thought The Animal was done with that? No sir, he needs to walk alone more in that Chris of Jericho.

Rise to the Heavens, boys!

Welcome back to Smackdown, Big Veiny. May you continue blasting those guns.


Also, remember the Montreal Screw Job part deux lost count? Well like Lucy, somebody on Smackdown's got some 'splainin' to do! Namely, Smackdown GM Theodore Long to not just the fans, but The Undertaker! And let's just say he was a tad..cautious.

Normally B guards A.

Anyway, Teddy pretty much pulls back the curtain and says "It's a work, LOLZ" and explains how the finish in Montreal was predetermined. Then he mentions some stuff about his family and not being able to provide for them (unlike say, a large pizza) and books on out to his fancy limo.

This is where shit gets redonkulous.

There's no way you have not heard about this by now. If you're reading LOL, Wresslin' you know how amazing/awful/amazing again this segment was. Yes, if explaining that wrestling is predetermined to a national audience isn't enough, the WWE cameras somehow got into Teddy Long's limo, were able to perfectly capture and live cut to the locks locking, then cut to the Undertaker rolling down the drives compartment window, all the while lights go purple and smoke comes out, coupled with voice modification. Here's the video.



Making movies, right Vince? That's what you do, right? No wrasslin'! Movies and spooky powers! Because we all know how good you are at that.

Ignore the first two movies on the list, as they are WWE films in name only.

So Smackdown is on again tonight at some time in NY. My Tivo is set for 11, I think? But yours could be whenever! No timezone in the Interwebz! So watch it when you can find it over on SomeNetworkTelevision! Or anytime on hulu!