Something different

It's Tuesday and things are a little slow. Sure, Umaga was released, boosting the hopes of anyone wishing for a Kennedy/Umaga (or whatever there names will be) TNA PPV headline. But really, other then making a fat joke or twelve, what could we say about it? Umaga clearly must have done something to piss off Vince, since he was kinda sorta in the middle of a push. But, who cares about all that. If it gets interesting we'll let you know.

No, let's continue our promise to look at other brands. Namely, the Tuesday show that no one cares about, ECW. Let's look at their roster and evaluate if this little show on SyFy is worthy of our attention. We mean, it's summer. What else are we going to do?

Christian: Adam's favorite wrestler has been the top face on ECW since he came back to WWE in February. He continues to be a solid worker, hilarious on the stick, and get over with the crowd despite the mountain of turd that's always thrust on him. Let's hope he continues to increase his overall profile on Tuesday's and eventually gets a shot on Monday/Friday for a top tier title.

DJ Gabriel: Who?

Evan Bourne: Aw schucks, gee whiz, high flyer. Amazing to see work, just needs that little thing to make us watch.

Ezekial Jackson: You know (tm) what you call this guy? Sir.

Finlay: It's pretty sad to say that he's lost without his midget.

Gregory Helms: Former Seal of Awesomness winner has thankfully stopped having long hair with stupid back tat and has just become a backstage interviewer where he's allowed to be hilarious. Here's hoping Vince goes (more) insane, fires Michael Cole, promotes Jim Ross back to Raw, promotes Matt Striker to Smackdown to be Todd Grisham's color man, and promotes Gregory Helms to color man on ECW. It could be worse, right?


Jack Swagger- Good in ring worker who talks like a gay dude. We're not sure if this is a positive for his career.

Paul and Katie Lea Birchill- Kafaybe brother and sister we're originally going to have a slow build towards and incest angle before Linda McMahon's education board election put the kibosh on that one. Of course, this would not be the worst angle ever.



Mark Henry and Tony Atlas- Best music in the business (seriously, how did we omit this? Must be racism.) Also, Tony Atlas wears a cut off shirt with a tie to the ring.

Seriously.

Matt Striker- Well he's become our favorite wrestler lately..and he's not even a wrestler!

Tiffany- Currently dates the dude who played Carlton on Fresh Prince. She's alright, we guess.

Yea..you can call us. If it's cool with Carlton.

Tommy Dreamer- Savvy veteran of ECW. Recently won their title, which goes against everything about his gimmick ever. Still, a nice gesture to celebrate his contract extension by WWE. Seriously, they gave him 3-5 years. Hopefully he'll innovate some more violence for us.

The Hart Dynasty- Surprisingly effective stable. David Hart Smith is the British Bulldog's son, and as long as he doesn't become addicted to drugs and OD we'd say he's better then his dad. Natayla is surprisingly attractive and her boyfriend Tyson Kidd is the last man trained in the Hart Dungeon. A face turn and feud with Legacy could be big money, we think.

Vladmir Kozlov- Recently started doing a Red Army gimmick. That's only slightly less topical then let's say...Disco Inferno.


Zack Ryder- Woo woo we we. Yes, a Long Island guido. The perfect gimmick. We wish you best in all your future endeavors, Zack.