The final frontier

The renowned physicist Stephen Hawking theorized that the Universe is ever expanding; this also is true for the WWE Universe! In a recent interview with the LA Times (nice photo, by the way), WWE CEO Vince McMahon dropped this small bombshell:

"We have a lot of clout."

Now, what exactly does that mean? Well it seems that there are plans for WWE to start their own cable network!

Wait a second...

True, they already have the on demand network that nobody gets, but this will be different. This will be an actual network with original programming and scheduling and ad revenue and everything! Now, we can hear you guys hyperventilating from here. Please just relax and let us relax. Raw and ECW will still be on their respective channels, so you won't have to miss those when the network launches. However, we were able to seduce Linda McMahon work some sources last night, and we got out hands on an internal WWE memo for the first year of programming. Take a look:

Raw Postgame Show: Joey Styles hosts a live post game show that interviews many of the WWE stars after every Monday's Raw! They'll also have live footage of any post-show antics that may go on and take live calls from the WWE Universe.

Florida Championship Wrestling: Every Saturday will have an hour of developmental wrestlers working to become future WWE stars!

Tough Enough: Returning after a hiatus, Tough Enough will be the WWE reality show that shows how hard being a developmental wrestler is. You better be good enough to be in the top 8 if you want that trip to Cancun, rooks!

There were hotter pics we could use, but we respect her as a wrestler...

Real World/Road Rules Challenge reruns: If G4 can pimp Man Show reruns as a big syndication deal, then WWE can show us footage of The Miz when he was more annoying and immature then he is today. Let that one sink in for a moment.

Uncle Ric Flair's Story-time: Take a seat by the fire and listen to the Nature Boy regale you with tales from the road. Marvel at his "jeweled cape" and legendary stories of decadence and fiscal irresponsibility.

Cookin' with Good Ole' JR: Learn how to make down home BBQ and fried chicken with the voice of Smackdown! (guest appearances by Shelton Benjamin and Cryme Tyme)

Get Fit with the Divas: This is a show that exists so men can masturbate to it.

WWE Movie Night: Watch See No Evil, The Condemned, The Marine, and other WWE films intercut with commentaries from the stars themselves! Also watch never before seen films that just didn't make the cut, like WWE's remake of Bill and Ted.

No joke, but we had this idea YEARS ago. We also wrote it down here. We're just sayin'!

WWE Hall of Fame Ceremony: Live and in it's entirety! Finally, the show we all want and probably the reason we'll all subscribe to this network.

Also expect monthly themes to tie into whatever is going on in the WWE Universe at the time. So numerous Wrestlemania retrospectives, Summerslam retrospectives, Royal Rumble retrospectives, and blooper shows will air through out the year!

Although there is no definite date set for this network to launch, start the letter campaigns now. Write your cable/satellite providers and Congressmen and demand your WWE cable channel! Because would you really watch channel 183 otherwise?