LOL, Wresslin': R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Sore Loser

Friday, August 7, 2009

R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Sore Loser

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

Raw may have there fancy pants celebrities hosting their shows now, but you know (tm) what, that's just a disguise. Fact is, Smackdown doesn't need any of that rigmarole, despite not being on a real network. Nope, just week in and week out, Smackdown let's it's TV show do the talking. Case in point- Jeff Hardy came out to cut a promo about being the new champion. And how awesome doing drugs is.

That was basically it, and then Cryme Tyme came out for some reason.

Oddly enough though, they were early for something. They had a #1 contenders match for the tag titles against The Hart Dynasty. You know, I've never noticed this before, but Tyson Kidd has a pretty dumb hair cut.

Dickhead

Anyway, this was another chapter in the long, storied feud of two mediocre tag teams. Cryme Tyme had it won, but decided to get all braggadocios with their pin and it was broken up.

Oh..naggers. Of course.

Still, Cryme Tyme were not to be deterred and toughed out a tough win. They will now take on Jericho and The Big Show at Summer~~fest~~slam. Of course, not ones to wait, the tag champs came out to confront their opponents and "crush their dreams."

Big Show looks kind of like a bald Penn Gillette

Oh well. On the plus side, this is probably the best photo of Natalya I've ever seen.

I can think of two reasons why I like this photo

Speaking of Divas, Undertaker semen must be some anti-aging cream, because Michelle McCool's abs are tight!

And to complete the tasteless joke hat trick: "I bet the inside of Layla's outfit is pink too."

There was a tag match involving Rey Mysterio and Dolph Ziggler and some other dorks. You know (tm), for someone who loves that mask so much, Rey Mysterio sure as shit doesn't tighten it all. He should learn to take better care of his stuff.

If it bothers that nappy beard so much just shave the damn thing.

Anyway, Dolph took the pin again because WWE loves to bury young up and comers. Because why should anyone ever get their heat back? Oh well, maybe I'm just complaining over nothing. After all...

Yes, and in our fabled main event, Smackdown's top face and champion took on...Smackdown's fastest rising face? Really? Because what better way to establish a new champion's credibility then have him job out your future top guy? Although, there are rumors that Jeff wants to take time off. You don't think that they'd put the strap on Morrison and jump right into a hot new feud with him and Punk, but deciding to "make" Morrison by having him beat the super over Hardy, do you?

It's like watching that 300 movie...

No..they couldn't do that. That'd be...exciting...

But Evan Bourne's on Raw! Wait a second...

Oh my God. They are going to shoc-oh. Twist of fate? Swanton? 1-2-3? Never mind. But hey! Here's a welcome surprise! CM Punk comes out to congratulate his old rival. Men clashed at Night of Champions, and one came out the better. No shame in that, Punk. Glad to see you're the bigger man.