R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Summerfestivites

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

There's a school of thought that the first match of the night should be a very hot match. It should get the crowd off their hands and set the tone for the entire night. Now would a DX pop have been a good way to open the show? Sure, why not? But it didn't. WWE decided to open their second biggest PPV of the year with a title match from Smackdown.

And why not? Smackdown is awesome. So for the second straight PPV, Dolph Ziggler (who states that he is perfection) took on Rey Mysterio for the Intercontinental title! And this was a very different match then the one that took place at Night of Champions. For starters, Ziggler got in some offense.

Ummm...kinda.

And he actually learned a few things from last time too!

"Oh! Avoiding the telegraphed move is how you block it! Duh!"

OWWW! BELLY FLOP!

Alas, it wasn't meant to be, as Ziggler did not plan for the dreaded Hurricanrana!

How could anyone fail the Wellness policy when they feel so good at that moment?

Also, WWE character development writers are stupid.

Cocky heel from Hollywood is fine...but Hollywood, FL? Really? Well, Billy Mitchel is from there, and he's a giant heel...

Cryme Tyme got their tag title shot against Chris Jericho and Fat Justin Credible.

It's really uncanney.

Cryme Tyme did the best they could, but the match was really never in doubt.

You tapped out to that weak finisher? Bring back the Liontamer!

The Great Khali and KANE had a real zzzzzzzzzzzzzz



Still, all that above stuff? Bullshit. This is right here is what we came here for. Jeff Hardy defends his world title against CM Punk in a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match.

However, before that, WWE.com writers are stupid.

They aren't twins or even related, so of course they will be "different" men. DUH!

So since DX decided that their intro needed to be a 20 minute act of war, Punk and Hardy needed to rush through their main event to make time. So the ladders came into play about...a minute into the match. But you know (tm) what? It just made things more awesome.

Pfft..wrestling's fake.

Bunch of pansies. That ladder is made of cotton candy and pillows.

Also..who wants to wrestle in the ring WHEN YOU CAN JUMP OUT ONTO CONCRETE?!!??!


Or, I dunno, chair someone in the head on the announce table, climb a ladder as high as Mick Foley's Hell in a Cell bump, and...well it's the announce table so you know what's going to happen.








Quick Punk! Now that he's on a stretcher! The match is yours!

"This is as high as you get!"

Oh yea Jeff? Well it doesn't matter anyway! Punk wins the ladder match. Clean, mind you. Or at least as clean as a TLC match can be. Something you surely will never know about.

And now, in the spirit of great web comics, here is a retelling of Summerslam's final moments.










Now what exactly does Undertaker have against a clean lifestyle? I guess we'll find out later tonight! I don't know what time because the Yankees are on My9, but it's raining, so who knows?! But it'll be on hulu.com eventually!