OH BABY, I like it Raw! Bringing in the big guns

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a them song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



The night after Wrestlemania 25! What magical presents were in store for us? Let's find out!

We start the night with Randy Orton, fresh off a stinging loss to Triple H for the WWE Championship. As Orton told us how much that totally sucked, Mr. McMahon came out and ruined a perfectly legit temper tantrum. McMahon took the opportunity to remind us that he was indeed running the company and could do what he wanted by setting not only a six-man Backlash match with Legacy versus Triple H and the McMahons, but also that night's main event to be himself versus Randy Orton.


As if the first time around wasn't good enough, we have another lumberjack match with the Colons (he he he) and Miz & Morisson competing for the tag team titles. Oh wait, the first time wasn't good enough, because it got bumped from the schedule at Wrestlemania. But this time it's WAAAAY different because it's not a title unification match. No, this time it's the same people fighting for the unified tag championship. Well, when you put it that way, I'm definitely going to sit this one out.

I thought his last name was "Cool."

Primo and Carlito won again, and this time they got to do it on TV, so that's cool. Good job WWE, because you know what happens to people who don't want to be cool.


The one match that DID make it onto the Wrestlemania PPV was the Diva battle royale, and we have a few of the competitors in tag action tonight. You know why I even mention women's matches these days. Good guys won. Weeeee.

Oh, you better not be good...

One of the feel-good moments from Wrestlemania was getting to see Ricky Steamboat go out and tear the place down one more time against Chris Jericho. No one was expecting anything out of the Legends in that match, and Steamboat proved that at least one old-timer could still hang with the best in the industry. So how is the WWE supposed to capitalize off of those good feelings created on Sunday?

Trot his old ass out there again to wrestle some more, damn it!


This was a "whomever wrestled last night" match, featuring someone from just about every match on the card. But Steamboat was left in the ring, fighting off heel after heel as they tagged in, and the crowd cheered for this old man to please just not have a heart attack while they were watching.

All the heel tactics were for nothing though, as eventually Rey Mysterio was able to set up both Edge and Chris Jericho for a double 619 to end the match. Seriously??

"How'd we both end up here?"

Raw is now treated to a little gift from SmackDown, as it's announced that Vickie Guerrero will now be the permanent GM of Monday Nights. Oh, THAT'S going to get to watch even more.

More like SnackDown, am I right?

She said that Mr. Cena would face Edge for the World Heavyweight Championship in a Last Man Standing match at Backlash. Glad to see her new responsibilities have curbed her nepotism a bit. Also, with regard to the big six-man tag match announced earlier, if any member of Legacy wins the match, the WWE Championship goes to Orton. Even if it were a thrilling finish like Cody Rhodes pinning Shane McMahon.

LOLWUT?

What a stupid stipulation. Thanks Vickie. Allow me a moment to applaud you.


The new Miss Wrestlemania Santina beat Beth Phoenix.

You all know that's Santino, right??

Finally, things turn out for Mr. McMahon pretty much how they should this time, as Randy starts to beat the living crap out of him. And then Shane comes down to help, but he gets the crap beat out of him too, with a little help from Legacy. And then Trips comes down, obviously tired from the previous night's win and post-party, because he gets beat up as well. O noes! The good guys are all getting pummelled! Who will possibly save them??

Wait...what's that I hear? Is that a roaring from backstage? No. No, it couldn't be! But it is!!!


THE ANIMAL IS BACK THE ANIMAL IS BACK THE ANIMAL IS BACK!!!!

THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING RAW IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION HISTORY!!! AND TONIGHT IS THE DRAFT, SO MAYBE BATISTA WILL BE DRAFTED TO RAW!!!! USA, SPECIAL THREE-HOUR SHOW STARTING AT 8/7c!!!!!!!

RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWRRRR!!!