R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Backlash Bound

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...

Explanation to follow

The WWE recently held their "draft" (I call it random selection process) which drastically shook up the WWE rosters! What excitement awaits us with brand new match types?

Really? Big Show vs Jeff Hardy? Big Show was just drafted to Raw, what's he doing on Smackdown!? This is not exciting! This is not new! This is just slow and boring, like Monday Night Raw!

Anyway, to make my point, I hereby present to you "Acting classes through the facial expressions of Jeff Hardy."

Concern

Elation

Constipation

There's a table monster taking me to his underground lair

Despite this drubbing, Matt Hardy still found it necessary to interfere and cost his brother the match!

Yea, so that happened.

Raw: 1 Smackdown: 0

In rod hardening news, Gail Kim beat Divas champ Maryse in a non-title match. Normally this would be a big deal, but since Maryse got drafted to Raw that title is worthless to me. And honestly, I don't know what I ever saw in Maryse. Her self esteem is so low she has to put flames on her butt cheeks since she's "hot." Still, that's not right, because I can now see all her Monday Night Flaws.

On your guitar play "(A-A-A-A-G-G) E E G"

Raw: 1 Smackdown: 1

There actually was a fresh match up on Smackdown this (that) week! Former Smackdownian (and US Champ) MVP fought in a non-title match against newcomer Dolph Ziggler. Mr. Ziggler comes with a lot of promise, as his career over at Raw has been pretty solid. Using the finest research tools at my disposal I was able to find these highlights:

• On October 10, 2008, he was suspended for 30 days for his first violation of the WWE's Wellness Policy.
• He returned to Raw on November 17th in a Backstage segment with Rey Mysterio and Shawn Michaels.
• This:

Oddly enough though, even a loser like that turns into a champion on Smackdown! The converse is also true, as Mr. Ziggler really took it to that Champion of the Fat and Stupid, MVP. And when I say took it, I mean, locked in some kind of chin lock.


And then winning on a roll up!

"By grabbing his butocks I can increase my pin strength ten-fold!"

I guess MVP decided to use Raw's live mic and say the seven words you can't say on television, because me thinks another 20 week losing streak is in order. So stick that up your Monday Night Craw!

Raw: 1 Smackdown: 2

And finally, in our main event, another epic conflict of warriors! Coming from Raw, The Animal, Batista!

"I did not invent the 'thumbs down'"

And his opponent, former tag champion and current Legacy member, Ted Dibase Jr!

Wait. Hold the phone. Aren't they both Raw dudes? Raw dudes on Smackdown! In the main event!? How could Teddy Long allow this? Seriously, this one makes no sense!

Anyway, since it's Raw BS, Batista won with a spinebuster or something. The ref totally pussed out.

Seriously, you're like 10 feet away. The Animal won't bite.

Raw: 1.5 Smackdown: 2

Smackdown wins again! MYNETWORK TV! MYNETWORK TV! 8/7 C!