W.W.W. featuring Kurt Angle and Cactus Jack

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff then us

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your Botchamania series ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Adam's video to Matt- Kurt Angle impersonates Shawn Michaels

Matt's response...

Who is that drag queen pretending to be Sensational Sherri?

All your balls are belong to me.

Anyway, with Wrestlemania 25 around the corner, it makes sense to take us back in time to the build-up to Wrestlmania 21, that wonderful event that featured Big Show sumo wrestling and a barnburner between John Cena and JBL. It was so good they even made a video game about it!

Quick! Which one doesn't belong?

Angle has decided the best way to get into Shawn Michaels' head is to parade out his old partners and do terrible impressions of him. This time were treated to "Sensational" Sherri and Kurt has the great idea to sing HBK's tune, because, in Kurt's mind-

Shawn Michaels thinks he's so great because he sang his own song.

Really Kurt? That's the reason Shawn Michaels calls himself the Showstopper? Because he "sang" his own song. Sure, ok.

In any case, we're treated to the terrible singing style of the Gold Medal Grappler. We already knew he could rhyme. And just in case you needed any more proof that Kurt Angle is a terrible singer, here's this DEEP cut from WWE Originals.



Well, Shawn has seen enough via satellite, and he's going to put his two cents in. Gotta admire the man for just coming out and saying Sherri looks terrible. Seems like good minds think alike. Shawn has a little video presentation, cooked up by the very same production crew that makes EVERY OTHER HBK MONTAGE. Seriously, they all look the same.

This is in every Shawn Michaels video. I mean it.

For whatever reason, HBK's mindgames did the trick, because that causes Kurt to go absolutely bonkers and make Sherri's "ankle hurt," as he says. What was so enraging about the video? I have to believe it was this shot here.

Heartbreak butts drive Kurt nuts.

In what ended up being the longest match of the night, Kurt beat Shawn at WM21. Yes, they went longer than the Interpromotional Battle Royale, which featured the likes of the Basham Brothers, Rhyno, Luther Reigns, Simon Dean, Tyson Tomko, Rob Conway, and Maven.


Did you know Maven went to Eastern Mennonite University? He holds the EMU records for most stolen bases in a season, career walks and career on-base percentage. To think I hated him...how foolish of me.

Matt's video to Adam- Cactus Jack and Raven promo on Mikey Whipwreck


Adam's response...

Finally, something good. That's not a knock against Matt's video picking abilities, because for the most part, every thing's been gold. It's just that it's always been something terrible we can all "LOL" at. This is actually a legitimately good segment. There's little to get into, because sometimes just watching is all you need. And trust me, friends, it is magic.

Quick note: I'll be using Foley and Cactus interchangeably here because I am a poor writer.


Yes, when ECW fans think back to the good old days, this must be what they think of. Mick Foley was at the top of his game in 1995. What better way to be a heel in ECW then to be a straight ahead face in the WWF/WCW? Especially considering Foley/Cactus's legendary status as a hardcore icon at the time.

A little background: Cactus had been engaging in a feud with Tommy Dreamer, imploring Tommy to sign with WCW, since ECW fans were too demanding. It all stemmed from a real incident where some fan at ECW had a sign that said "Cane Dewey" a reference to the Michael Fay incident in the early 1990s, but replacing Fay with Foley's three old son. This apparently legitimately set Foley off, and thus his new heel persona was born. After eventually losing the feud to Dreamer, Cactus aligned himself with Dreamer's main rival, Raven, and set his sights on Mikey Whipwreck.

Whipwreck was another unique character that could only exist in ECW. Basically, he was a loser who was terrified to get in the ring and would get beat up all the time. The audience had such sympathy for him that eventually they fell in love with him. So much so that he eventually became ECW champion, pinning a pre-Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Anyway, this promo on Whipwreck is awesome, not because it's made out of anger. Or rather, it is anger, but it's legitimate anger. Not the "You called me a jabroni!" or "I want your title" kind of anger. It's the kind of anger that comes from being disappointed in someone you care for. Namely, the ECW fans. Mikey is ECW to the fans. Cactus is your dad.

Seriously, look at the things he's yelling about. Doritos? Rock music (admittedly, I love Leonard Cohen, so I'm siding with Cactus on this one), previous run ins with authority. There's one part I specifically want to mention. It's when Cactus mispronounces the word "barbiturate" and is interrupted by the camera man. The camera man corrects him and Cactus just shrugs it off and pronounces the word correctly. Now this can be interpreted a few ways.

1. Cactus messed up and lazy old ECW decided to just do one take, and goddamit, that's the one take they got.
2. A very terrible attempt at humor.
3. Cactus is focused in his anger, and is a legitimate nice guy (the character he is portraying), that only Mikey Whipwreck upsets him. It's pure, unadulterated hatred.

Still, that's not to say this is perfect. Pretty much it's completely illogical. I can understand if WCW wanted Tommy Dreamer. He's a good looking guy, can work in the ring, and cuts a decent promo. Perfect mid-carder for a major promotion. But "Uncle Vince" wants Mikey Whipwreck? Really? This guy?

"I'm a real toughie!"

Poor Mikey...has to hang with is peers at officially sponsored WWE events...

I'm sure he would have fit right in feuding with the Body Donnas and Razor Ramon. Yup, make mine Raw indeed.

Of course, it does add a new layer of insanity to Cactus's promo. Man, this ruled.

HARD.