So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.
Better at naming stuff then usThe idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your one minute montage of the Best of Cryme Tyme ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.
After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Matt's video to Adam- Karen's Angle With The Monster Abyss
Adam's response...
Hey, and welcome back to Karen's Angle! You know (tm), a lot of people ask me how we came up with the name for the show, and I tell em, "Easy peasy! You see, my name is Karen Angle, and 'angle' is a common wrestling term for 'story', so give me, Karen Angle, a story segment on a wrestling show, and well, it writes itself (giggle!)" Anyway we have a great show going tonight. Still to come later tonight, Mike Tenay, and music guests The Rock & Rave Infection, but first... you know him as the most deranged mask man in the history of TNA wrestling. He's a former TNA World Champion. He's big! He's white! He's the mon-storrrrrrr.....ABYSS!
(The house band plays Abyss to the stage as he waves to the thunderous applause. Abyss takes a seat and drinks out of his coffee mug.)
Now Abyss, that's not your real name, right? It's clearly a stage- uh huh, right. Ok. Please, please make yourself more comfortable and OH DEAR! You talk show guests sure are wacky. It's like that time Conan O'Brien fought traded pants with that eccentric dude from Life is Beautiful. Right..so what do you think of all the photos of my hotness in the background? They make you feel like a child and sit Indian style? That's sweet.
(Super imposed onto the screen. Men whistle and make various cat calls.)So tell the people about the problems you had. You were in rehab for exhaustion, just like Mariah, right? Well I think I speak for everyone when I say we're glad you're doing better, you look great, and it was so brave of you to admit your faults and get the help you needed.
(audience claps for a minute).
No. Honestly. Thank. You. You are an inspiration.
Get your hand off my leg.
So what's next for Chris, or Abyss, or whatever it is you call yourself? Are there wedding bells in your future? Maybe a...Mrs. Chris Abyss? Well, yes I am single. My ex did a lot of pain killers and is wasting away before our very eyes. Why Chrbyss, you wouldn't be making goo-goo eyes at me, are you? You are such a sweetheart! I bet you'll find that special lady soon.
Me? You're fond of little old me? Aw schucks!
You wrote me a poem? Oh, you don't have to- well do you want him to read it guys? Do you want AbChris to read his poem?
(Claps and whistles)
(Abyss ends on a punch line and everyone laughs)
Oh, you gave me some hair too? Anyone think this guy comes on a little strong?
(Rim shot. Crowd laughs)
Well thanks. Yes, I'll go out with you. Sure. Can we bring the cameras?
(Rim shot. Crowd laughs)
And on that I'm sorry to say that we're out of time. This was great. We'll go out and bring it on the show next week. Once again, the Monster Abyss! We'll be right back after these messages from Pros vs. Joes.
Adam's video to Matt - Hacksaw Jim Duggan on a talk show
Matt's response...
Take a trip with me back to 1988. When life was simpler, gas was under a dollar a galloon, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan could carry on an almost coherent conversation. Yes, things just made sense back then. Well, Hacksaw never made sense, but you could at least pretend he did.
In this video, Duggan visits the set of The Late Show with host Ross Shafer, who's gone on to bigger and better things since, such as becoming a motivational speaker. But a funny motivational speaker, so that's something. Good for him. Ross has invited Hacksaw on to speak about his impending match with Andre the Giant.
That's really the best you have, Wikipedia? Actually, Ross barely mentions it; Duggan is the one who continually steers the conversation back to Andre. No, Ross is more interested in making light of the fact that Hacksaw says "Hoooooo," that he carrys a 2x4 to the ring, and that he's excitable. Well, heaven forbid all that.
Unlike Hogan, Hacksaw seems to come close to Andre's actual height and weight. It varies a bit officially, but it's generally accepted that he was in the range of seven feet tall and 550 pounds. Not 750, Hulkster. Duggan also claims he was the only person to knock Andre out in the ring, and while his uniqueness in that may be in question, it did actually happen.
Well, as "actually" as anything can happen in professional wrestling.
With all respect to Mr. Shafer, he is a terrible interviewer. Half of his schtick involves simply copying what Hacksaw is doing (hmm, does that sound like anyone else we know??). And the other half is asking stupid questions.
Take his first legitimate question to Hacksaw. "Now, there is a howl...the "Jim Duggan howl"...
Fair enough start, I suppose, provided you forget the fact that Duggan does it THREE TIMES in the first minute of the interview. And Ross himself does right before he starts the question. Why don't you save us a little time and say, "How'd you come up with that?" Nitpicking, maybe.
Shafer also falls into a couple of typical talk show host traps when it comes to interviewing a wrestler: pretending they're dumb animals (granted, this is Hacksaw we're talking about, but still) and feigning weakness. Shafer asks Duggan to please not "eat his plant." Later, he can't handle banging a couple of 2x4's together, and then crumbles under the force of Hacksaw's vice-like handshake. Oh, I get it, that's supposed to be funny.
The man is clearly a menace and doesn't know his own strength. A final note that was interesting to me is that Jim Duggan reveals his former life as a football player, once playing for SMU (pony up!), which is just down the road from me. During that time, he had a short haircut, wore gold chains, and went to "fancy Dan" discos. Like he said, just not the "Hacksaw way."
For gays.Now, out of the way Jimmy, we gotta get the dude from "Loveline" on here.
Insert question about genital warts here.
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