Black Lesnar

We don't talk much about the world outside of wrestling around here. We are, after all, the wrestling comedy blog of record, so it makes sense that we might be a little provincial. But there's life outside wrestling.

Like MMA! Of course, we've been a little hard on them in the past. However, from time to time, a news item comes across our LOL desk that makes us take notice of WWE's harder-hitting cousin. Plus, it helps when it concerns a former professional wrestler. You can't expect us to go too far out of comfort zone.

In this case, Brock Lesnar gave an interview to the magazine Maxim, where he talked about a number of topics, such as his career in the WWE, his upcoming fight with Frank Mir, and steroids. It's this last issue that we'd like to focus on here.

Lesnar says that he's taken drug tests all through his professional career, and he's upset by the question of whether he's ever used steroids. It prompts this sort of response:

God gave me this body: Are you jealous of it or what? Give me a break. I got the genetics of—not to get into racism or anything—but I’m built like a black man.

Read that again. "I'm built like a black man." Lesser bloggers may talk about the racist tones of that statement, but we think that's ridiculous. Seriously, he says that he doesn't want to "get into racism or anything," so that point is clearly moot. We, however, are merely curious if it's true.

Here's a picture of Brock Lesnar:


In examining if his body is that of a black man, we'd like to compare three aspects of his physique - the legs, the trapezius muscles, and the arms. So we searched to see if there were, in fact, black men who were built comparably to Mr. Lesnar. Here's what we found.

Let's start with the legs:


That's Canadian Olympic sprinter Ben Johnson. There's quite obviously some similarities. You can clearly see the outline of the quadriceps, and they are both quite larger. Actually, Lesnar's may even be larger, so in this case, his body is better than that of a black man.

Now, let's take a look at those traps, one of the most prominent features of Lesnar's build. For those who are unaware, the trapezius muscle runs from your back to your shoulder, then up to your neck. If you still don't understand, it's those huge triangles on either side of his head. For this one, we found eight-time Mr. Olympia, Ronnie Coleman.


Look at those things! That's insane! But no more insane than Brock's. We think he has a point on this one too. So far, Brock seems to be proving his side of things.

Now the arms. Sure, there are plenty of people with big arms to go around, but we thought where better to find some real guns than in the world of baseball? So we present to your our final example, MLB slugger Barry Bonds, who unfortunately doesn't have a large selection of photos with his arms exposed.

But this one just fits the site so well.

We think here you could say again that Lesnar just might have our research beat. So in all three cases, Brock is either built like, or better than, a black man. Perhaps it really does have nothing to do with steroids at all!

Oh wait. All of these guys have either tested postive, admitted to, or been accused under oath of taking steroids.

Whoops. Our bad.

Maybe we should ask Brock's wife Sable if he were perhaps talking about a different part of his anatomy.