OH BABY, I like it Raw! The Animal's Kingdom

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

Pressed for time today folks, so lightning update is on the way!

As you might have guessed from the title of today's article, Batista is back on Raw! No, he didn't miraculously heal himself - he's here on slightly different conditions than normal.

You see, Vince McMahon, for whatever reason, has to abide by the things that Trump put in place during his week of owning Raw. Why? Why can't McMahon, having purchased Raw back from Trump, change things the way he wants them? Lazy writers, that's why. In any case, one of those changes was a guest GM every week.

Which brings us to Batista. He's our guest GM for this (last!) week. I think you can see where this is going.


He makes two orders: Randy has to face three new members of Raw (part of trade that Trump made that McMahon also has to stick to) in a gauntlet match, and there will be a tournament for Number 1 Contender at the Night of Champions.

Which is where our matches begin for the night. First it will be Triple H versus MVP to move on to the finals.

Any guesses on how this will turn out?


Exactly.

The other two competitors in the tournament are John Cena and The Miz. This is where suspension of disbelief ends, WWE writers, because at some level, you expected me to believe that the finals for this Number 1 Contenders tournament was going to be The Miz versus MVP. Seriously? Seriously?


Again, I'll post a picture from this match, but do we really need to even fight this thing?


WHAAATT? Could it be??


Right. That's better. So Cena and Triple H will fight to go to Night of Champions.

The Million Dollar Man is going to be next week's (this week's) guest GM. I wonder who that might favor?

I wonder....

Kelly x 2 was in a match for some reason or another. I'm supposed to pay attention to that?


She didn't win.

Finally, it's the gauntlet match. Randy's first opponent is Evan Bourne.

At least he does this.

So yeah, he lost. Then it was Jack Swagger.


He thought he'd make an impression on Randy and not fight him at all. Swagger got himself counted out. What a gentleman.

Next is everyone's favorite city bus, Mark Henry.


Henry also acted like he was going to get counted out, but then squeezed back into the ring to defeat the injured Orton.

So that's it! Short and sweet, but full of meat!


Watch tonight, 9/8c on USA!