Wrestling wonders! (of eBay)

From time to time, we like to power up the ol' LOL computer and cruise around the internet to see what fun and interesting things we can find. We're guessing you do too; otherwise, why else would you be here?

One of the best places to find some fun and interesting stuff is eBay, where people sell their crap in hopes that someone will come by and want to make it their crap. It's the circle of life, lady and gentleman. Pretty simple stuff. We thought we'd like to find what kind of professional wrestling memorabilia is located on that online auction block. Here's some of what we discovered:

Professional Wrestling Diploma

That's correct. For just $9.99 (convert that to pounds, Ray), you can have your very own professional wrestling diploma. It says it right there! "Doctorate of Professional Wrestling" Now, we're not sure if that means you can actually perform wrestling moves, or that you're a Ph.D in the history of the business, but either way, we're pretty sure it's not true.

This is all made possible by Bradforth State University, which, surprisingly, we found to not exist. That must be why they can offer a degree without completing any state-required curriculum. So feel free to pay some douche ten bucks for something he printed off his LaserJet!

David von Eric button

Immediately, this is suspect. We've heard of David von Erich, but never David von Eric. That certainly seems to be a picture of the former, but one can never be too sure. Cartoonishly tall cowboy hats have a tendency to skew one's perceptions. Let's check out the product description:

A button Souvenirs of David Von Eric a professional Wrestling souvenir . David Von Eric was the son of the famous French Von Eric. David has passed away and this is a great way to remember him. This button is white with David's picture on it. The button measures 3 inches round. The button is in great condition on the front and the back is a little tarnished ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !a wonderful pin ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! This listing has free shipping ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Wow! Look at all the exclamation points! This thing must be real. Granted, we've never heard of "French von Eric" either, but he must have been great too! Surely that's who Fritz von Erich modeled himself after. Truly a steal for...twenty dollars?! Hmmm, we might have to wait until payday for this one.

Also, we'd like to point out how inordinately excited this person is about the back of the pin being a little tarnished.

"The Secret World of Professional Wrestling" VHS

eBay seller "bringbackthepast" is certainly not one to leave the memories alone, which is why he feels he should make available this exposé of the wrestling business. Ooooh, it's the "secret" world, too. This should be very interesting.

Since our friend does not provide anything other than the title as a description, let's see what this video is all about. Amazon.com says on the product page that it is a 48 minute video on "what motivates wrestlers and attracts throngs of fans." That's not much help either, Amazon.

However, there are some customer-submitted reviews, and those are sometimes helpful. "A Customer" titles his review "This video rule!!!!!!!!!!" and writes:

The video rules because al the secrets,eveyone want to know,are in this video.This video include disguised wrestlers,and they tell you the secrets.The disguised wrestlers are:The Patriot and Harley Race

Way to blow the ending for us, Santino.

Still, this thing is about right for just under four dollars, so you really can't go wrong. Feel free to pay to find out what you can for free from any mark site.

One piece of advice for our eBay friend, though: maybe think about changing the condition of your item. Listing a video cassette tape that was release in March of 1999 as "Brand New" is a slight bit disingenuous. Perhaps "Too Shitty to be Opened" is more accurate.

Superstar Billy Graham's "WWE Hall of Fame" ring

Now this certainly looks nice. A very dignified class ring, sporting some sort of reddish stone and the official WWE insignia. Quite a good mock-up if we do say so ourselves.

Why do we assume it's a fake? It's obvious. The WWE Hall of Fame is a prestigious honor bestowed on only the best and most influential former wrestlers, of which Superstar Billy Graham is certianly one. This is something to be cherished and handed down to one's grandchildren and placed in a display case on the mantle of a cozy home. There's no way that anyone would ever think of selling the real-


Oh damn.

Unfortunately, we were wrong. It appears that the real Billy Graham is selling his real WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2004 ring. Again, we ask, "Why would you do that?" Let's get the answer from the man himself:

First off, I owe no one an explanation as to why I want to sell this beautiful WWE ring. In a recent board meeting Vince McMahan said " That there will never be an actual physical Hall of Fame building and that the Hall of Fame only exists in my head."

We think if you wanted to stick to your guns, Mr. Graham, that you would have ended that statement at the first sentence. However, despite not owing it to us, you so graciously provide an explanation, and for that we are eternally grateful. So, he's upset that there's never going to be an actual building for the WWE Hall of Fame, something that pretty much every wrestling fan on the internet knew to be true.

He explains that he got this idea because Shane McMahon was going around promising that there would be a building one day. That's right. Superstar Billy Graham allowed himself to be played by Shane O'Mac.

Him.

Despite all that, we still have quite a piece of wrestling history for sale here. At this time, with five days remaining in the sale, the top bid is...

$11,500

Sure. We'll pony up that cash just as soon as we're inducted in the Wrestling Comedy Blogger Hall of Fame in Owensboro, Kentucky. See ya there!