Friday, September 11, 2009

R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Death and rebirth

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

You know (tm) why Smackdown rules? Two letters and a word; CM Punk.



The above video is almost ten minutes long, but watch every second of it. Savor it. Soak it in. It's awesome because it features the following things:

  1. Punk calling people junkies
  2. Shooting on Jeff Hardy's airport incident/Wellness suspension before Wrestlemania 24
  3. "No more stupid armbands"
  4. "The choice of a new generation."
  5. "Alls it takes"
  6. Jim Ross and Todd Grisham not saying one, single, word.
  7. Copious amounts of dumb face

Yes, Punk fooled them all. The sheeple hear Jeff Hardy's music and see some long haired dude dance to it and they immediately assume that it's the guy who was kayfabe fired the week before. Idiots. But they're dumb faces fixed it all and made the segment even better then it was.


Also, after this awesome promo, Matt Hardy came out and attacked Punk which set up a match later.


Speaking of people who failed Wellness tests, Rey Mysterio was set to "defend" the Intercontinental title against Dolph Ziggler John Morrison! These two had a hum dinger of a match, as it was fast paced, high flying, and about as awesome a twenty minutes as you can expect out of a wrestling match.

Seriously, no jokes. These two had an awesome match. Some great spots like a Mysterio head scissor over the top rope.

Dull scissors of course, since no one lost a head.

And a nasty drop kick by Morrison when Mysterio was flying off the top!

I fail to see what Rey would accomplish by just doing a jumping splash

Still not better than this

Anyway, the most bad ass finishing name in all of wrestling (Starship Pain) gave Morrison the win and part of a Swiss timeshare!

Is that like a 12 pack?

After this bukkake of awesome, R-Truth came out to calm everyone back down.


Before he could ask us "What's Up" for the 40th time, some dude named Drew McIntyre came out to beat up the rapping jobber.

That shirt either means he's a British loyalist or he's about to get killed on Star Trek

His reasoning was...well I couldn't decipher what he said over his thick, United Kingdomish accent. Seriously dude! Speak American! Ray, can you help us out here?


And as mentioned above, there was a Matt Hardy/CM Punk non-title grudge match that went down.
Black jacket means THINGS ARE SERIOUS

Oh, I can't believe I never mentioned this yet! There's this submission PPV coming up this Sunday (9 days from last week's Smackdown)! So Punk has the Undertaker at this show, so who better to stretch a bit then Punk's Nemesis's brother?!


But let's remember that Punk also hates Hardy's with every fiber of his being. Thus, time for a chair.
Boo!! Heel!!

Yea...that's not allowed. Didn't matter though, because before all that could happen the aforementioned Undertaker decided to come out and beat up Punk! Who knew he was such a stickler for the rules?

\It really is about time they invest in steel tables. The cost of not replacing them alone will save them cash.

Oh well. We got one more Smackdown for more awesomeness tonight! Then some show on Sunday! But let's leave out on a good note, and remember what opened the show!


Can someone be a heel if they speak the truth?

Watch tonight. 8/7c, MyNetwork TV. Or sometime on hulu.com!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

So much for having a celtic bloodline! McIntyre's got a lovely Ayrshire accent and I understood him perfectly. I want to see you defend American English after watching R-Truth's interview with Josh Matthews on tonight's Smackdown. Cats? Dogs? WTF?