Friday, December 4, 2009

The newest WWE video game!

We're avid fans of video games as much as we are of wrestling, so we're always excited to hear about a new game coming out based on our favorite wrestlers! Imagine how great it was when we found out the next one would be a text-based adventure game! You see, in the days before fancy graphics (or any at all), there could still be fantastical journies taken simply by reading text! Can you believe it?? Why didn't they think of this before?!

Basically, the way these work is you're presented a block of text describing your situation, and you type in what you want to do next drawn from a bank of commands. It's not much more complicated than that.

This game, coincidentally, is based on one of our favorite wrestlers - Batista! We've managed to get a preview of some of the scenarios in the adventure, so take a peek and see if you'd like it!

Oh, and you're welcome.

========================================

You are a member of the church. A deacon, and because of your physical attributes, you've been sworn to protect the controversial Reverend D-Von. You do your job well, and yet one day, the Reverend "accidentally" hits you during a battle.

/punch d-von

You PUNCH the Reverend D-Von, causing him massive internal injuries. The Reverend shambles off, muttering that's he's lost his faith following the beating and must transfer to a smaller and less-funded church.

Now, you are all alone. The kingdom of Raw is in the distance, glinting on the hill like a siren.

/walk

..............

Finally, after months of effort, you are awarded a spot in the Royal Rumble and you win! Congratulations! Now, you are given your choice of which king to challenge for the throne: His Highness Layfield, ruler of rival kingdom of Smackdown, or your own monarch, King Helmsley, who has taken you under his wing alongside Prince Orton and Flair the mystic.

You are in a secretive meeting with King Helmsley.

King: Who will you challenge? Don't forget, the ruler of Smackdown attempted to run you over with his stretch carriage.

Rather than speaking, you decide to indicate your choice with silence, thereby making a larger impact...

/move thumb

In which direction would you like to MOVE your THUMB?

/move thumb down

King Helmsley is stunned you would challenge his reign!!

/powerbomb king

Through what would you like to POWERBOMB the KING?

/table

You have just POWERBOMBED the KING through the dining room TABLE. He is defeated. You are now the sovereign ruler. However, those loyal to the former head of state have abandoned you. You are alone.

/walk

...................

Your kingdom is under attack from foreign invaders, including the giant savage only known as Mark, rumored to be the strongest man in the world. You face the behemoth on the battlefield, but you are King Batista, and you have no fear.

What do you do?

/move thumbs down

The giant does not respond. He licks his lips, as if he is ready to rend the flesh from your bones with his teeth.

/use machine guns

You shake your arms violently at the gargantuan Mark. Two serfs kneel beside you, lighting tubes of black powder to create a spectacular display of light and sound. Still, Mark does not flinch.

/smirk

You flash a quick smirk and a chuckle. Mark is now enraged! He charges and slams you to the ground, surely the world's strongest slam!

You have torn your triceps and must give up your crown, no longer able to rule with violence as you so often have before. You have been sent home to recover from your injuries.

Several months later, you are health enough to leave your home, ready to defend yourself and regain your throne. You wake up, all alone in your bed.

/walk

.....................

Your party has come upon a massive pit. Your fellow travelers are trepidatious, and begin TALKING.

Mysterio: Is that some sort of pit, ese?

Porter: Hell yes it is, and it looks dangerous! That's not ballin' at all.

Mysterio: How big do you think it is, amigo?

Cena: Yo fool, that's stretches on for miles!

/say stop talking

You tell your party to quit their conversation. You are tired of them talking out of their heads.

/walk

To where do you want to WALK?

/walk to pit

You WALK to the entrance of the PIT OF DANGER. Which members of your party will you take with you?

/walk alone

1 comment:

Unknown said...

You're far too clever for wrestling. But then, you already knew that.