R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Hungry Animal heading to WWE TLC

SEASON'S BEATINGS!!!

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

In all honesty, I have no idea why I'm even doing this. Apparently Matt doesn't need to recap Raw, so why in the blue hell would I need to recap Smackdown? And I hate this crap now too! You people are so lucky I've decided to bless you with my comedy brilliance. How would you ever LAWL @ Wresslin' if I wasn't here to brighten your miserable lives?

So CM Punk came out to call us all drug addicts again, but this time, there was something new. He brought a friend! Festus! Hillbilly Jim! Luke Gallows! Turns out his previous mental retardation was due to drug abuse! But now that he's clean he's totally fine...which is just about how every former meth addict I know acts.

Well the camo pants do scream "Methhead"

Punk then makes fun of a new Jeff Hardy DVD, when all- OOOHHHH YEEEEEEEAAAA!!!!



Yea, Matt essentially tells the kids that it's cool to be like his brother Jeff and be a screw up. He then wrestles a match with Punk, who decides it's more fun to have Crackhead Festus interfere and beat the hell out of whatever dumb nickname Hardy calls himself now.

First rule of the zombie Apocalypse: Short hair.

Sex-ay

There was #1 contenders match in the middle of the show, as the world champion Undertaker's brother, KANE!, took on The Animal, Batista!

I FACE OFF WITH ANOTHER PERSON ALONE!!!!

You know (tm) what I never noticed before? Batista's trunks mirror his back tat.

Coincidence?

Also, I love the WWE.com interns, not just for the awesome title for this week's recap, but for this wonderful caption.

He's not any specific animal. Just an Animal.

By the way, that's how Batista won. Via sunset flip. KANE! can't believe it either.


Finally, our main event was the same main event from a few weeks ago. One half of the unified tag champs, Chris Jericho, took on the Undertaker. Batista decided to check it out on commentary.

Then the Undertaker played some of his infamous mind games with a spooky entrance.


I'll spare you the details, since one guy jobs all the time and one guy never jobs, but the WWE.com interns do rule.

That's actually a really great pun

Oh, and Batista interfered.

I yawn alone

Anyway, everyone is in Iraq, so I wouldn't expect the most stellar of Smackdown's tonight. Still, judge for yourself! 8/7c, MyNetwork TV! Or some other time on hulu!