So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.
Better at naming stuff than us.
The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your Tully Blanchard impression ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.
After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Adam's video to Matt - Christian and John Cena rap battle
Matt's response...
Allow me to get real with you LOL Fans for a minute. You can blame me for the shoddy blogging this week. I wasn't able to do my weekly Raw recap and I'm the reason this post is showing up half a day late. What can I say? Real life happens, and Indian food just isn't worth the time spent away from everything else. Trust me. I will do everything I can get back in LOLing shape, because I know I'm depriving all three of you of some serious internet laughs.
That being said...RUCK FULES!
So this is when John Cena was the same guy he is now, but everyone liked him. Actually, I shouldn't say he's the same person - he did wear that chain. And the lock. Those are both very important.
It's on the cover of his DVD, for goodness sakes!
1. The fist pump and exaggerated "Yes!" Or,
2. The worried/serious/disappointed stare beyond the camera.
I don't know; maybe I'm that jaded fan know, but I think we all know the order is determined ahead of time. Just make a show of that to begin with. Have GM's screw superstars by giving them low numbers. Have matches not just for number 30, but also 25 or 26. They haven't done this bit lately, and hopefully it stays that way.
Now, as for the "rap battle"? Christian's was obviously supposed to be bad, and it was, so in that way, it was a success. I'll also tell you what made me Laugh Out Loud - "Tomko...give me a beat." That should never be said again.
As for John Cena's rap....well, I'm a little disappointed. You know (tm), he's supposed to be this amazing rapper, at least in the WWE Universe. He's supposed to be able to use his mind and extensive vocabulary to lay some sick burns on all his competitors, gaining that important mental advantage for his match. Let me give you some examples of his "sick burns." These are all within about 20 seconds of rapping:
- Christian shares a bed with Tomko
- Christian "goes down"
- Christian also plays with balls
Seriously, though, that was a battle? Sure Cena rhymed, but he couldn't get his mind off Christian's main peep, and that's just lack of creativity, my friend. At least now he has to keep it clean for the kiddos, but that barely constituted anything worse that what we wrote in the boy's restroom in fifth grade.
Ok, ok - what people wrote about me in the boy's restroom. Damn you Mom for dressing me in a matching blue sweatsuit!
Matt's video to Adam- Hassan Attacks The Undertaker
Adam's response...
I'll always have a special place in my heart for Muhammad Hassan. And not in an ironic "He's like Glacier, thus stupid" way. I really wanted that character to take off. Seriously.
Allow me to explain.
Both Matt and myself had a professor at college by the name of Ranjan Chhibber. He taught film and cultural studies. He also loved wrestling and comic books. It's not hard to see why we loved him. Anyway, Ranjan was not well liked by the college (I believe his last words were "F Women's Studies!") and eventually quit. And what job did he line up next? A WRITER FOR WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT!
Ranjan accomplished two things while working for Vince: becoming friends with Paul Heyman and creating Muhammad Hassan.
Now please, give Ranjan some credit. When Muhammad Hassan debuted he was actually a fairly deep character by wrestling standards. In fact, he was perfectly reasonable. A Muslim-American who is upset about the way he's been perceived in post-9/11 America. I think that's kinda cool. If they decided to make him a face or a tweener it probably could have gotten a lot of great publicity for the company.
And you know (tm) what? He had some very valid points. If you got the time, watch this video of Hassan in "Stone Cold's Court."
How does THE BIGGEST FACE IN THE HISTORY OF THE COMPANY greet his guests? "I see sand people." Wow. Hassan then extends his hand, even after such bigotry, to be polite and how does THE MOST LUCRATIVE STAR IN THE HISTORY OF THE COMPANY respond? "I'm not going to shake your dirty hand because I don't like." Austin has never met Hassan before, so he is pre-judging him based on assumptions he already had. Disgusting.
Ranjan eventually got burned out, as many do, working for the McMahons and quit WWE. Alas, Muhammad Hassan was still there. Time now to turn him into a full on terrorist! Because he's brown!
Of course, the above video aired on broadcast television (well, UPN), on the same day terrorists bombed London, effectivly forcing WWE to bury Hassan and cut him loose.
1 comment:
Ranjan the Doctor of Thugganomics was one of my favorite professors at GW. I especially loved that I had to watch Smackdown! as part of a semester-long project and that Foley's Have a Nice Day was assigned reading. He was mistreated at WWE, and not given enough credit for his contributions.
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