LOL, Wresslin': R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Turmoil launched with a chair

Friday, December 11, 2009

R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Turmoil launched with a chair

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

Get this. We here at LOL, Wresslin' LOVE the interns at WWE.com. They come up with the most fantastic captions for their photo slide shows! Check out this Shakespearean gold:

Alternate caption: Punk can't handle the truth!

Anyway, Punk's methhead took care of the former TNA champion.

RAPE!

KANE! and MIKE KNOX OMG!!! had a match.

You know (tm) who are unintentionally hilarious with their captions? The WWE.com interns! Open up for these two-part whammer:

Ok..standard stuff so far...

Oh! May as well have just added in "Thick girls" and saved some space their, interns.

Thankfully, the three lovelies in the ring can all work it. So their stoutness will be off set. Kind of like the WNBA; their strong fundamentals more than make up for their inability to dunk. Of course, this being wrestling, there is invariably an unfair advantage in these non-sexual threeways. Basically, the two bad girls beat up the good girl. Beth Phoenix should pick up the win because she's older and more experienced then Natayla, but Natayla, being a reasonable person, also wants to win. What ever is going to happen?

Using the finest research tools at my disposal, I recently learned that Beth Phoenix once had that weird nickname for some reason.

So Mickie James wins! She's going to take on the heel champion at the next PPV (this Sunday!) What were the odds, that the face (the wrestler we all cheer for) would take on the person we want to see lose MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD!? Thankfully Mickie James will go into TLC this Sunday with class.

Can't start a fire. Can't start a fire without a spark...

In other title news, John Morrison defended his pride in a non-title encounter with some dude named Drew McIntyre. That has to be a fake name or something. Drew McIntyre. What's that short for, AnDREW, you fruit. Still, I never heard of him before, but he looks mighty good getting kicked in the face.

Yea!

Awesome!

And you know (tm) who is stupid? So so so so so stupid! The interns at WWE.com! They consistently have the WORST captions ever for their slideshows. And don't get me started on their composition!

Really, WWE.com? We couldn't see it. You just had to tell us!

And finally, our World Heavyweight Champion (as opposed to any other weight class wrestling has now), The Undertaker, was about to address his challenger Batista with some scary fog and thunder. That is, until Big Dave came out and bludgeoned Taker with the most lethal weapon of all; the chair!