OH BABY, I like it Raw! TLC OMG

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



Before I get to the first and only TLC recap you'll need to read, a note about last week's Raw, since it was shot in my current hometown of Dallas, Texas. I'm sad I didn't get to go, since it was one of the better shows of the year. I'm not just saying that because it was here and because Mark Cuban hosted, but that was part of it. I thought Cubes did a fine job as guest host, getting far more involved than others have been. Overall, a nice show.

Now, time for TLC, which would shape up to be a wild night indeed.

First, let's talk about Randy Orton versus Kofi Kingston, or as I like to call it, the Battle for Hog Supremacy. As always, Kofi was fired up for this one.


Quite quickly, however, things turned sour for the Dreaded One, as Orton held him town and got right into some freaky stuff.

"Shhh, be quiet. I saw this online."

And it just went downhill for Kofi from there...


Even the WWE.com interns knew that Randy was a little crazed during the match.

Well, it is in his theme song, so one would think...

The Viper would ultimately take home the win, hitting the RKO and the 1-2-3. Seems that getting screwed last week by Mark Cuban was just the thing to fire him up for a match.

Now that we're done with that pesky non-title match, let's see what's shaking in the Tag Team Championship department, as DX faced JeriTall for the belts. It didn't take long for this thing to get brutal, much to the dismay, I'm sure, of one former announcer.


As always, them DX boys found a loophole in JR's logic.


Despite some solid early teamwork, DX didn't do themselves any favors later on to win the match.

Ladder climbing fail

Fortunately for them, they were in a ladder match against the World's Largest Athlete, meaning it takes him a little extra time getting up those rungs.


After Show turned the tables on Hunter and punched a chair into his head (that's right), Jericho tossed Shawn off the ladder for the advantage. It was then time for them to punish their juvenile opponents.


Eventually, DX would regain the advantage, and Shawn would climb a broken ladder, held in place by HHH, to capture their first Tag Team Titles.

"Uhhh, hey Shawn, would ya mind stopping the celebration and get down? This thing is heavy."

Finally, we have the WWE Title match with John Cena versus the bad-guy Sheamus. We know he's a bad-guy not just because he's facing Mr. Cena, but because he has crazy hair.

Red, spiked-up hair? You must have a Masters in "Bad dudery."

This being a tables match, one of these guys had to put the other through a table to win, but neither of them acted like they knew what they were doing.



Finally, Cena figured out that the best plan of action would be to set the table up in the center of the ring and then try to superplex Sheamus through it. Umm, a word of advice, if you don't mind? When you're in these types of matches, the prudent thing to do would be to just win however you can, not try to impress the fans with a ridiculous spot, because then stuff like this happens...


That's right. Sheamus had a half-second of clarity and decided to simply push Mr. Cena off the ropes, launching him across the ring and through the table, meaning....Sheamus is our new WWE Champion???


This is certainly a wild turn of events. Be sure to tune in tonight for a special three-hour Raw featuring guest host Dennis Miller and the Slammy Awards! Hilarity most certainly sure to ensue! 8/7c on USA!