OH BABY, I like it Raw! the 20th edition

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



Due to real-world time constraints and just poor planning on my part, this will be what we call in the biz a "lightning recap." If you don't know what that means, then you're not very familiar with the contextual use of the word "lightning" in game shows since the beginning of time. Basically, I'm going to hit all the main points, and toss out the rest with the baby and the bathwater. Never wanted that baby anyway...


The show starts off with confirming that yes, Edge is the new World Heavyweight Champion. While explaining how this was so, he likened the audience to "failure turtles" and himself to Jesus, who turned water into wine, just like he turned the WWE Championship into the World Heavyweight Championship.

"Plus we both have really bitchin' hair!"

Disregarding that he didn't actually make the titles transform, Edge jumps around and pretty much acts like an idiot for a while. Vickie is there to explain that after Stephanie McMahon left for the hospital with Shane during No Way Out, she was left as the highest ranking WWE official at the show, and made the call to let Edge stay. Surely there was a better way to handle that at the time.

Mr. Cena came out and got a cheap pop by saying he wanted a rematch. Edge was like, "nah," but Cena was like, "yeah" and it seems Cena is now going to have to hunt Edge down and get at the title. Weeeee.

Later on, Jericho came out and continued to insult Mickey Rourke. That's an easy target. He said the Academy should not give Rourke the Oscar for Best Actor, because that would only validate the opinions of all these old timers that want to still have a go in the ring. It seems that Jericho has a little sway in Hollywood.

Pictured: NOT Mickey Rourke

So the week before, it was Flair who came down to defend the old guard. Who will it be this time? Cue the drums and bagpipe!!


"Rowdy" Roddy Piper! This is where my fanboy shows through. I love everything about Piper, and he could show up, stand at the top of the ramp, and just turn around and leave, and I would still think it was the greatest segment on Raw that night. Instead of trying to explain it to you, just watch it and get rowdy.

Thanks, StoneCold316xXx!

Kane beat Jamie Noble in ten seconds. What an awesome job. (note the double entendre!)

JBL came out and apparently there's not going to be any funny business after Michaels beat him. JBL said that he paid HBK and is still ready to do something at WrestleMania. And that would be end Undertaker's winning streak. Well, guess who has a problem with that.


Yep, Shawn thinks HE should be the one to make history at WrestleMania. These wrestlers...so selfish. Anyway, they're going to have a match next week (tonight!) to find out who will face Undertaker at the big show. I guess 'Taker doesn't have any say in this matter.

There was a Women's Title match. Kelly Kelly wasn't in it. Who cares?

Not me!

Finally, Shane decided to push his luck again and have an unsanctioned match against one of the best athletes in the company, Randy "Kong Dong" Orton. See if you guess how this one turned out before the LOL appears...

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now make a wish...

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Got a guess?

No peeking!

Ok, here you go...


Now pass this on to 20 friends, and watch Raw tonight, 9/8c on USA or you'll have bad luck in love for five years!