The Stars Descend Onto the Big Apple

Once a year something magical happens. The New York Comic Con takes over the Jacob Javitts Center for a glorious weekend! This is the cultural event of the season if you're into all things geek. Want to get the hype on Joss Whedon's new TV show, Doll House? Got you covered. What about meeting DC Animation producer emeritus Bruce Timm. Well direct your boner to the east coast. How about getting that last issue of the original Darkhawk series to complete your collection. New York, New York. Of course, these are all nerdy pursuits and would have nothing to do with the squared circle, correct?

You know us better then now to know that was a rhetorical question. Several wrestlers will be in attendance (and signing autographs!) thanks to a wonderful company called Turnbuckle Promotions (hey! That's a wrestling thing!). Let's check out the roster who will drastically improve our lives:

Honky Tonk Man- The longest reigning Intercontinental champion was last seen at Cyber Sunday not beating Santino. Somehow got over as a wrestling Elvis impersonator.

Jerry "The King" Lawler- Do we really have to explain this? Cousin of Honky Tonk, current Raw color man. Possible pederast.

The Bushwhackers- Last seen losing to Urkle and Carl Winslow in that one episode of Family Matters. May be getting in shape for possible feud with Hacksaw Jim Duggan to see who can be worthy of the WWE's resident retard position.

Ernest "The Cat" Miller- Former WCW star and WWE jobber/color man. Last seen staring as "The Ayatollah", Randy the Ram's nemesis in The Wrestler. Also gave us this classic moment:



Roxxi and Taylor Wilde- We've written about them before, and honestly, we're excited by the prospect of seeing them. We're sure they're both just delightful and we look forward to forcing some awkward flirting, and then convincing ourselves that we totally had a shot, given more time.

Scott Steiner- From Turnbuckle's official bio-

"Scott Steiner waited for years for his chance at the world heavyweight championship. In 2000, The Big Bad Booty Daddy finally got his shot. He made the most of it, winning the title from Booker T and dominating the main event scene thereafter. He is appearing at the Turnbuckle Booth."

Forgot to mention the obvious.

Work out buddies

Midajah- She was Steiner's valet in WCW. Reunion photos!

Dawn Marie- We were so ready to make fun of her for having a few post-baby pounds, but then the finest research tools at our disposal told us that she recently founded a charity to help former wrestlers survive after their careers. Upon hearing this the Laugh Twins' hearts grew three sizes!


Christopher Daniels- Also from Turnbuckle's bio-

"Christopher Daniels is the Fallen Angel and the Curry Man. He will be appearing at the Turnbuckle booth"

Well that about covers it, we suppose. In all seriousness though, we've seen Daniels work and he's kind of awesome. He also would fit right in at the comic con. Maybe we can engage him in a deep philosophical discussion involving D-Man's short term as an Avenger?

And finally- the big draw.....

Chris Harris

Yea, this butthole:



Don't forget your vulcan ears and lightsabres! How else are you going to fight off all those Harry Potter wizards for some free swag! And hey, maybe you'll see a Laugh Twin or two on the floor, yucking it up with Bushwhacker Luke. Come on over and say hi!