W.W.W. featuring a terrible moment in WCW history and another terrible moment in WCW history.

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your band covering Batista's theme song ain't gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.


Matt's video to Adam- The Shockmaster



Adam's response...

I want to first start off by mentioning I hate the new Youtube embed. The title of the video should not be on the video, because often times, it ruins a surprise. So what we have here is one of the most infamous moments in professional wrestling history, and rather then really enjoy it as it happens, the event is spoiled because I know what's going to happen. I realized this when I watched the video on my iPod touch and just things happen organically. From now on this is how I will be watching my W.W.W videos.

Anyway, let's do this bitch.

So we open up with our favorite US Army Commander, The Nature Boy Ric Flair! And he has a talk show segment, with a set and full band called A Flair for the Gold. Brilliant. Simply brilliant. And then he brings out one of the finest women in the world title in a maid's uniform. I can deduce by her style of dress that she is of French descent.



Out from the backstage comes out Naich's guests, Sting and The British Bulldog. I find it funny that these men would go on a supposed talk show in costume. It's not like they're in tights getting ready for later. No, they're absolutely ready to start their matches whenever. I suppose it's good to be prepared, but Flair's wearing a suit and he has a match later that night! And when Sid eventually comes out he's wearing jeans! So it's not like people had to be in "uniform" because they're on the clock.

As for Sid, he comes out because he's heading up a big tag match against the aforementioned Bulldog and Sting. Sid has Harlem Heat with him, so I guess it's a six-man tag. But there's only two faces! There's gotta be a third man! But who is it? (Also, quick side note, but why are they all yelling? They're standing right next to each other.) Well that question has an easy answer. Bulldog and Sting's partner is going to "shock the world" because he is the "Shockmaster!" Get it?


And out falls the gayest Storm Trooper you're ever going to see.

Gayer then this

Just gay enough

I've never understood how a fat guy equals "tough" in wrestling. Just because he's big doesn't mean he's strong, nor does it mean he has energy or anything that would help in a fight. Look at that picture of him again. I don't see any definition in those arms. I could probably out bench him.

But let's really get into how dumb the Shockmaster was. That's why we're all here, right? First off, all the blame is not solely the Shockmaster's fault. He tripped over a 2x4 (HOOO!!!) that was inadvertently placed in front of the press board he was supposed to punch through. He fell and tried to salvage the bit. No big whoop. It could happen to anyone. No, I argue that the blame lays squarely on Ted Turner. First off, this is 1993 and TBS. Why is WCW live? TBS has no business ever airing anything live, with the exception of Atlanta Braves baseball. Even then most people would prefer a rain out so they can watch Fresh Prince reruns.



And excusing the fact that it's live, why would there even be a microphone in the production truck to pick up all the behind-the-scenes panic? And let's talk about the promo that ole Shocky "delivered."

From wikipedia:

"Ottman walked up to Sid and Harlem Heat, all of whom were visibly struggling to contain their laughter. The interview, which was actually pre-recorded by Ole Anderson only got worse, as Anderson mistakenly called Sid "Stid", a problem which the studio technicians didn't think to fix in post-production. Despite zero crowd reaction and leaving the announcers speechless, WCW decided to continue with the feud."

More importantly, how did the Shockmaster speak without voice amplification? Regardless, just about everyone dropped the ball on this one. How could anyone in the history of history think that anything about this was a good idea? In fact, screwing up may have been the best possible thing because at least the Shockmaster eventually became a comedy character.

Still I feel I should say this. I grew up in central New Jersey, 60 miles from New York City and about 80 miles from Philadelphia. 1993 (when this video was shot) was considered the birth year of ECW, a mere 80 miles from me. I often think that ECW, although certainly innovative, was a bit overrated. Or rather, the "legendary" ECW fans were overrated. They would boo anything no ECW, but the second a former WWF/WCW guy would come in, and not for a guest spot, but for a legit run, they would embrace him as a star. Maybe not more so then homegrown guys like Taz and Tommy Dreamer, but the old guard guys weren't booed. It happened with Brian Pillman, it happened with Steve Austin, and it even happened with Scott Hall when he made a few appearances post WCW. For all their "keeping it real" they sure as hell became stupid marks like the rest of us. But you know (tm) what, seeing dreck like the Shockmaster, I can sort of understand why they wanted something new. Maybe the Shockmaster is responsible for the ECW philosophy (which in turn lead to the WWF becoming competitive in the Monday Night Wars by stealing ECW concepts and dubbing them "attitude") as the legendary fans who loved it and worked for it. I hereby am hereby nominating the Shockmaster for the Chief Jay Strongbow Memorial Award for his service and excellence to the SPORT of professional wrestling!

The CJSBMA

Adam's video to Matt - Hulk Hogan vs. Sting at WCW Halloween Havoc 1999



Matt's response...

It's 1999, not exactly the heyday of WCW. They're two years from being purchased by the WWE, and you can certainly see why after watching this video.

Now, this wasn't the main event of the PPV, though it certainly could have been. This was barely out of the true mid-card matches. Leading up to now, the audience has been thrilled with the likes of Disco Inferno retaining the Cruiserweight championship, Harlem Heat winning the Tag Team belts after Booker hit Brian Knobbs with a plastic mummy, and Brad Armstrong beating Berlyn.

Yeah, this guy.

Provided you weren't too broken up by Perry Saturn losing via disqualification, you might have been on the edge of your seat for this one. Two titans, both legends in their respective former companies, meet up for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. You may have been tipped off that something was up if you noticed there was a still a U.S. Heavyweight Championship match to come. Nice booking.

Anyway, we have the oddity of Hulk not coming out to his theme the first time around, and then when he does come out, he lies down and takes the pin without a fight, leaving the audience and YouTube crowd going, "WTF?"

Here are some of the theories offered by the internet:

this was clearly a shoot although everyone denies it now!! -warriorsleftnut

WTF??? It was prob. a work -pazzarelli26

This is what killed wcw,messing up there [sic] main events -jonfaz1

It's certainly a curiosity. Just happening to have Hulk Hogan's (auto)biography on my bookshelf, I skimmed through it to see if he had anything to say on the matter. (And by the way, Hulkster, let's consider a Table of Contents next time.) He, in fact, did have words on it, though not many. This excerpt is from a chapter on Vince Russo, who was writing for the company at the time. On page 287, Hogan dictates:

I'll never forget when Russo has me lie down in the middle of the ring at Halloween Havoc in 1999, without wrestling even for a second, and let Sting put his foot on me to win the match.

Um, not quite Hulkster

He goes on to say:

Russo said he some great plan...Well, he didn't do what he said he would. After a few weeks...I came back for more.

All this within a chapter where he describes Russo having him job clean to Billy Kidman, only to have Kidman washed out soon after. And having Russo give himself the strap. And having Goldberg spear him and put him on a stretcher.

All this makes you wonder why Hogan even came back at all. Seems like at a certain point he was asking for it. And then there's this incident, not a year later, at WCW Bash at the Beach. Hogan would be wrestling Double J for the World Heavyweight title. From page 289:

Russo said, "That's what I want to do. I want Jeff Jarret to lay down."

I said, "But that's screwing over the fans."

Russo had at least agreed that I would leave as champion with the belt...Jeff Jarrett laid down in the middle of the ring. At that point the only thing I could do was put my foot on him.

At least he gets it right that time.

It's funny to mention when Jarrett lies down and Russo is telling Hogan to make the pin, the announcers say "I think we're deviating from the script." Kayfabe, indeed.

Before making the pin, Hogan grabs a mic and says (in front of kids around the world), "That's why this company's in the damn shape it's in...because of bullshit like this."

Yes, Hulk. On that, I believe you are correct, sir.