SEASON'S BEATINGS!
Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.
In the interest of full disclosure, I'm not working on my usual computer today. Thanksgiving and all. So we're going to try something novel. I'm going to be funny without my usual crutch of racist/dick pictures. Be thankful I'm even still doing this, you sycophantic hypocrites.
Bad friend Rey Mysterio got what he deserved as hometown boy Dave "The Animal" Batista just took him out back and whooped him bad. As a former resident of the District of Columbia, I can tell you the most intimate details of this bludgeoning. After the match, Rey was stretchered off into a ambulance and taken to the George Washington University Hospital on 24th and I St NW. The hospital of the President! Once Rey was resting peacefully, the Animal burst in and started brawling again! They brawled around the Washington Circle all the way down M St! They went down Wisconsin Ave and left The Gap there in shambles! They turned right onto Dumbarton, stepped into Big Planet Comics, bought Absolute The New Frontier and then went across the street to the ORIGINAL Five Guys! It's the only one that serves beer! They then ate peanuts and threw the shells on the floor, ate some fries with Old Bay spice, laughed and read comics, and then started fighting again! They went back to Wisconsin, back down M, back to the Washington Circle, got on Pennsylvania Ave, and eventually destroyed the White House!
Five star match!
A bunch of Divas had a match and I just felt sad that they have a job that requires low self esteem. Thankfully, the "fat" Mickie James and "Hispanic" Melina overcame their white oppressors and survived this series!
Finally, a tag team took on the Undertaker for his world title. How will the Undertaker hold his own!? Oh wait, it's a triple threat match! Will the tag team fight each other for a chance at singles glory?
Yes. Yes they did.
Proving there is no honor amongst thieves, our paragon of virtue, Chris Jericho, turned on his tag partner and tried to win the title. Since Jericho exists to put other people over, this attempt was unsuccessful. The Undertaker then made The Big Show tap out, so the 50 year old man with one hip and a ridiculous gimmick once again represents the company. Yes, the man who has such tenure that he no longer needs to go on the road and is so injury prone that he can not perform at the level he's previously established he could, is now responsible for house show attendance and television ratings, despite not being able to appear at both. All this defying conventional wisdom that "the money is in the face chasing the heel."
Brilliant.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Non-White Friday
Season's Beatings!
Happy Thanksgiving, all! Or, to those of you not in the United States, Happy Thursday! Thanksgiving is that holiday that allows us to thank back to the time that the Pilgrims and Indians hooked up and had a great big feast and danced and smoked and generally thumbed their noses at the lame ass British that stayed on the island. Losers.
But did you also know that the day after Thanksgiving was a holiday as well? That's right, it's Black Friday! The un-official start of the Christmas shopping season, when retailers slash all their prices and open their doors at four in the morning. The day when shoppers wait up all night for a prime spot in line and then lose their mind when the store opens. The day when people die shopping.
Seriously.
We'd like for you to avoid all that. We don't want you to die. Who'd read the blog? So we're finding some of the best deals out there for the wrestling minded fan, and not from the normal places either. No, we're headed over to ShopTNA.com!
Apparently, TNA celebrates Black Friday as well. You weren't aware of that? Well, allow Don West to tell you.
So what items are they offering us at nutty low prices?
That's just frightening.
This beauty will only cost you $12.99. That's five bucks off! Quite the deal already!
Dave in South Dakota says: "This DVD is worth the money the bonus features are cool" Let it never be said that South Dakotans are not quick to get to the point. Now, we'd normally post other reviews of the product so you'd know what you're getting into when purchasing, but seeing how they are all just participating in a fanboy flame war, it's really somewhat useless. However, J*Box of Kansas does take a break from the bickering and offer this:
We definitely could have said it better ourselves.
For $55.99, you can get your hands on this piece of TNA memoribilia: a Kevin Nash autographed baseball. Does Big Sexy play baseball? Absolutely not, but that shouldn't stop him from signing one and sending it to you, should it?
Well, yes it should. This is just a stupid gimmick. They have these for a lot of wrestlers, like Mick Foley and Suicide. Yes, Suicide signed a baseball, and he signed it "Suicide." That should look great on your kid's shelf. So why choose Nash's over those others? Because it's the only one in existence. That's right! Act quickly and get it now! Nash hyper-extended his elbow and tore his bicep signing this one, so there aren't any more!
There must be SOME reason why we avoided TNA for so long...
Finally, for just a buck, you can score yourself a Curry Man 8x10. Go ahead and replace that photo of your kids in the hallway with this sweet puppy. "terrol" provided the only review, saying:
Yes, terrol, yes this photo does look cool, doesn't it? Why shouldn't they bring back Curry Man, especially with that ringing endorsement you just gave him? Don't they care at about someone who'll spend a dollar for a completely worthless sheet of high-gloss photo paper?
We're going to save our Washington, though. There's something much better we could spend it on...
Sadly, this was only given a one-and-a-half star rating. We might have to reconsider...
Happy Thanksgiving, all! Or, to those of you not in the United States, Happy Thursday! Thanksgiving is that holiday that allows us to thank back to the time that the Pilgrims and Indians hooked up and had a great big feast and danced and smoked and generally thumbed their noses at the lame ass British that stayed on the island. Losers.
But did you also know that the day after Thanksgiving was a holiday as well? That's right, it's Black Friday! The un-official start of the Christmas shopping season, when retailers slash all their prices and open their doors at four in the morning. The day when shoppers wait up all night for a prime spot in line and then lose their mind when the store opens. The day when people die shopping.
Seriously.
We'd like for you to avoid all that. We don't want you to die. Who'd read the blog? So we're finding some of the best deals out there for the wrestling minded fan, and not from the normal places either. No, we're headed over to ShopTNA.com!
Apparently, TNA celebrates Black Friday as well. You weren't aware of that? Well, allow Don West to tell you.
So what items are they offering us at nutty low prices?
That's just frightening. This beauty will only cost you $12.99. That's five bucks off! Quite the deal already!
Dave in South Dakota says: "This DVD is worth the money the bonus features are cool" Let it never be said that South Dakotans are not quick to get to the point. Now, we'd normally post other reviews of the product so you'd know what you're getting into when purchasing, but seeing how they are all just participating in a fanboy flame war, it's really somewhat useless. However, J*Box of Kansas does take a break from the bickering and offer this:
I'm a hugh Wrestling Fan, and hears why you the consumer should buy this DvD. It is Action Packed.
We definitely could have said it better ourselves.
For $55.99, you can get your hands on this piece of TNA memoribilia: a Kevin Nash autographed baseball. Does Big Sexy play baseball? Absolutely not, but that shouldn't stop him from signing one and sending it to you, should it?
Well, yes it should. This is just a stupid gimmick. They have these for a lot of wrestlers, like Mick Foley and Suicide. Yes, Suicide signed a baseball, and he signed it "Suicide." That should look great on your kid's shelf. So why choose Nash's over those others? Because it's the only one in existence. That's right! Act quickly and get it now! Nash hyper-extended his elbow and tore his bicep signing this one, so there aren't any more!
There must be SOME reason why we avoided TNA for so long... Finally, for just a buck, you can score yourself a Curry Man 8x10. Go ahead and replace that photo of your kids in the hallway with this sweet puppy. "terrol" provided the only review, saying:
this photo looks cool BRING BACK CURRY MAN
Yes, terrol, yes this photo does look cool, doesn't it? Why shouldn't they bring back Curry Man, especially with that ringing endorsement you just gave him? Don't they care at about someone who'll spend a dollar for a completely worthless sheet of high-gloss photo paper?
We're going to save our Washington, though. There's something much better we could spend it on...
Sadly, this was only given a one-and-a-half star rating. We might have to reconsider...Wednesday, November 25, 2009
W.W.W. featuring Jerry Lawler and Lita
On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.
So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.
Better at naming stuff than us
The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your one-act play about The Headshrinkers ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.
After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Matt's video to Adam- Jerry Lawler burns Bobby Bowden's nephew
Adam's response...
You ever think TNA is cheap looking? Ever think about how lame it is that they tape at a sound stage in Universal Studios? Well I tell you, that's miles better then some storage locker in Memphis, Tennessee.
I'm all for being frugal and having a close, intimate crowd, but this is a little too much. It's very hard to maintain the legitimacy of this being a sporting event when there are about 30 people watching it. Granted, most indy shows now-a-days can't claim that number, but they also don't have television deals.
As for the actual goings on in the video- well, I couldn't tell you. It's kind of cornucopia (Thanksgiving!) of happenings. Sid Vicious wore red tights and Doug Gilbert wore a mask. Isn't the entire point of wearing a mask supposed to involve you concealing your identity? Why wear the mask if you're just going to give out your social security number?
Above: The Amazing Peter Parker
Now, we've expressed our love of Scott Bowden on this site before, but I gotta call him out on one thing (I know you're reading this, Bowden): how does being Bobby Bowden's nephew get you heel heat? Granted, I understand you're essentially portraying a spoiled brat, but why not just be a spoiled brat? Why bring Florida State head coach Bobby Bowden into the mix? The University of Memphis is not a traditional football school, nor a rival of Florida State. I suppose you could make the case for the University of Tennessee being such a football school that the hatred of Florida State would carry down from Knoxville to Memphis, but UT and FSU are not rivals. They're not even in the same conference!
That being said, the assault on Bowden's Starter jacket is very topical for the early 1990's when this was made. Many men lost their lives for a Starter jacket.
Word
Still, the commentators could have been a little more concerned with an attempt to light Bowden on fire. He may be an annoying little shit, but a lifetime in the burn ward is a bit of a strong message to send. Also, it could lead to Bell's Palsy.
Adam's video to Matt - The Hardy Boys attack Dean Malenko in Lita's shower
Matt's response...
This is the mark equivalent of the Zapruder film. Actually, all videos in the "diva in the shower" subset are, meticulously paused and unpaused, trying to catch that exact moment where you maybe catch a glimpse of something you weren't supposed to/will never see. It's at times like these when I like to take things to the fans and see what the word on the street is.
According to YouTubers, the magic time is 22 seconds into the film, where Rooxilo says, "You Can See Lita's HOT ASS!" (Side note: is it really worth the extra time to capitalize every word? No one gives a crap.) Others make claim that a few seconds later, you can see her chest, but this can't be substantiated.
Of course, all these comments are prefaced with "I'm not being perverted, but..." However, finding it necessary to discover that 1/10th of a second of video where you might catch a butt crack seriously calls that claim into question. Then again, I have numerous Google queries of "Randy Orton hog sexy," so really who am I to cast stones? It's all work related though.
So what are all these video experts so worked up about? Well, for the first time in the history of blogging, I'm going to break this mystery right open. Just what is contained at 0:22? Here you go:
Through some digital trickery, I've enhanced this image, simply by typing "enhance" into my computer. Just like the movies! Take a look:
Not bad work, right? I'm pretty awesome. You can thank me, marks. Now go on and enjoy this time to yourself.
Then there's this...
So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.
Better at naming stuff than usThe idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your one-act play about The Headshrinkers ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.
After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Matt's video to Adam- Jerry Lawler burns Bobby Bowden's nephew
Adam's response...
You ever think TNA is cheap looking? Ever think about how lame it is that they tape at a sound stage in Universal Studios? Well I tell you, that's miles better then some storage locker in Memphis, Tennessee.
I'm all for being frugal and having a close, intimate crowd, but this is a little too much. It's very hard to maintain the legitimacy of this being a sporting event when there are about 30 people watching it. Granted, most indy shows now-a-days can't claim that number, but they also don't have television deals.
As for the actual goings on in the video- well, I couldn't tell you. It's kind of cornucopia (Thanksgiving!) of happenings. Sid Vicious wore red tights and Doug Gilbert wore a mask. Isn't the entire point of wearing a mask supposed to involve you concealing your identity? Why wear the mask if you're just going to give out your social security number?
Above: The Amazing Peter ParkerNow, we've expressed our love of Scott Bowden on this site before, but I gotta call him out on one thing (I know you're reading this, Bowden): how does being Bobby Bowden's nephew get you heel heat? Granted, I understand you're essentially portraying a spoiled brat, but why not just be a spoiled brat? Why bring Florida State head coach Bobby Bowden into the mix? The University of Memphis is not a traditional football school, nor a rival of Florida State. I suppose you could make the case for the University of Tennessee being such a football school that the hatred of Florida State would carry down from Knoxville to Memphis, but UT and FSU are not rivals. They're not even in the same conference!
That being said, the assault on Bowden's Starter jacket is very topical for the early 1990's when this was made. Many men lost their lives for a Starter jacket.
WordStill, the commentators could have been a little more concerned with an attempt to light Bowden on fire. He may be an annoying little shit, but a lifetime in the burn ward is a bit of a strong message to send. Also, it could lead to Bell's Palsy.
Adam's video to Matt - The Hardy Boys attack Dean Malenko in Lita's shower
Matt's response...
This is the mark equivalent of the Zapruder film. Actually, all videos in the "diva in the shower" subset are, meticulously paused and unpaused, trying to catch that exact moment where you maybe catch a glimpse of something you weren't supposed to/will never see. It's at times like these when I like to take things to the fans and see what the word on the street is.
According to YouTubers, the magic time is 22 seconds into the film, where Rooxilo says, "You Can See Lita's HOT ASS!" (Side note: is it really worth the extra time to capitalize every word? No one gives a crap.) Others make claim that a few seconds later, you can see her chest, but this can't be substantiated.
Of course, all these comments are prefaced with "I'm not being perverted, but..." However, finding it necessary to discover that 1/10th of a second of video where you might catch a butt crack seriously calls that claim into question. Then again, I have numerous Google queries of "Randy Orton hog sexy," so really who am I to cast stones? It's all work related though.
So what are all these video experts so worked up about? Well, for the first time in the history of blogging, I'm going to break this mystery right open. Just what is contained at 0:22? Here you go:
Through some digital trickery, I've enhanced this image, simply by typing "enhance" into my computer. Just like the movies! Take a look:
Not bad work, right? I'm pretty awesome. You can thank me, marks. Now go on and enjoy this time to yourself.
Then there's this... Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Goodbye to Wresslin'
Periodically the Laugh Twins venture out of their cave and take part in things in the real world. This is one of those periods. Last Monday's Raw was live from Madison Square Garden in New York City. Adam attended. Here are his thoughts:
First, I'm well aware that this probably should have been written a week ago. I didn't want to usurp Matt's Raw recap, but then I realized after the fact that Survivor Series was this past Sunday, so thus, we wouldn't have mentioned it. Whoops.
Also, I don't have a digital camera, so I didn't take any pictures of the event. Sorry.
Anyway, I attended last week's Raw. It was a birthday present to Intern Brian. It was also my first live event since Summerslam 2005. Let's just say that I was sorely disappointed.
I know. It's weird. You'd figure a live event from at Madison Square Garden hosted by Rowdy Roddy Piper (!) would be the most fun event in the world. And it sort of was. The show itself was good, I thought. I just really hated the crowd.
Seriously. I was embarrassed to be there.
I know I shouldn't have been. I didn't expect anything different. I just hated them. It's astounding how much I hated them. I know that WWE is TV-PG now, so I'm fine with all the kids there. Kids are annoying and selfish, sure, but they're kids. Let them hold up their signs and crotch chop and cheer John Cena until the cows come home. But the sheer amount of adults who acted terribly was startling to me.
There were adults, full fledged adults, who were getting in verbal fights with kids over various wrestling related things. Swearing at little kids. And just being all together disgusting. You'd think these men have never seen a woman before in their life. But lo and behold, when the Divas came out was the pop ever deafening. And this is today, when the T&A is downplayed to such a degree I get more aroused watching Giada De Laurentiis cook.
Although that's not a totally unreasonable statement...
Actually, that Divas' match is pretty much everything I hated about the crowd. First off, there was a special guest ring announcer, Judah Friedlander. He's a really funny stand up comedian. He's a star on the hilarious 30 Rock and is a legit WWE fan. He loves wrestling so much that he had a small role in The Wrestler. Is he the biggest star in the world? No. Is 30 Rock really in most WWE fans' TiVos? Probably not. But you still feel bad when people start chanting vulgarities at him just because he's not familiar to them. Of course, then the match started and people were captivated by theslim no chance they'd see some female nudity.
I'm well aware of the irony of all this. I objectify the Divas with as much regularity/vulgarity as anyone else does. I believe I once said that "Undertaker jism must have skin tightening properties" in reference to how solid Michelle McCool's abs are. But something about just screaming out "I want to see pussy!" with out any form of irony within ear shot of these women is just disgusting to me. In fact, when leaving the show, some dude in an Ed Hardy shirt said he needed to "go get a slice of pussy" after the show. Class.
This is also why I did not use this opportunity to promote the blog with palm cards or whatever. I think our humour would be lost on this crowd. And by "think" I mean "I know they will not appreciate our shrines to wrestler hog pictures." And trust me, I'd rather not have a million comments calling us "fags."
Another thing I hated, although this is mostly because the crowd was full of kids, was the complete lack of pop for Roddy Piper. This man is a LEGEND, kids. He was hilarious all night and even brought back in the Iron Sheik.
Side note: The theme for the show should have been Raw is Bury Hogan.
Again, I can sort of understand. Piper name dropped a bunch of older wrestlers who don't get much publicity now-a-days, and he also mentioned an interview he did with HBO Sports back in 2003, so it's reasonable that a kid born in 2001 wouldn't quite know what to make of it. I blame the product the schools for not letting the kids be rowdy.
Basically, I'm too old for this stuff. I don't find it entertaining anymore. And since it was a TV taping, the matches were much shorter than I'd enjoy. Maybe if this were a house show I'd of had more fun. Or maybe I need to be become even more elitist and start going to ROH shows. On second thought, those fans are even worse. Maybe, I just need to say goodbye to wresslin'.
It was fun while it lasted, but maybe I'm no longer an emotionally arrested male. Whatever intelligent discourse we try to bring to this piece of Americana will always be overshadowed by the ignorant rubes who also enjoy watching it. I'm not one to let others affect my enjoyment of things (like Batista, I walk alone to many pits of danger/concerts), but I don't think I could actually look anyone in the face and say "I'm going to Monday Night Raw!!" It's my own pissy attitude to get over, sure. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong to feel that way.
Oh, and if I'm not being snooty enough, if any of you guys use The Facebook, please vote for the charity I work with in this Chase Manhattan contest. All the money is for a good cause and all you have to do is allow Chase Manhattan complete access to all the info on your Facebook page!
In the event that this badge doesn't reroute you, the charity is Minds Matter New York. It's an educational charity for underprivileged kids. Why yes, I am so thoughtful. Thank you.
First, I'm well aware that this probably should have been written a week ago. I didn't want to usurp Matt's Raw recap, but then I realized after the fact that Survivor Series was this past Sunday, so thus, we wouldn't have mentioned it. Whoops.
Also, I don't have a digital camera, so I didn't take any pictures of the event. Sorry.
Anyway, I attended last week's Raw. It was a birthday present to Intern Brian. It was also my first live event since Summerslam 2005. Let's just say that I was sorely disappointed.
I know. It's weird. You'd figure a live event from at Madison Square Garden hosted by Rowdy Roddy Piper (!) would be the most fun event in the world. And it sort of was. The show itself was good, I thought. I just really hated the crowd.
Seriously. I was embarrassed to be there.
I know I shouldn't have been. I didn't expect anything different. I just hated them. It's astounding how much I hated them. I know that WWE is TV-PG now, so I'm fine with all the kids there. Kids are annoying and selfish, sure, but they're kids. Let them hold up their signs and crotch chop and cheer John Cena until the cows come home. But the sheer amount of adults who acted terribly was startling to me.
There were adults, full fledged adults, who were getting in verbal fights with kids over various wrestling related things. Swearing at little kids. And just being all together disgusting. You'd think these men have never seen a woman before in their life. But lo and behold, when the Divas came out was the pop ever deafening. And this is today, when the T&A is downplayed to such a degree I get more aroused watching Giada De Laurentiis cook.
Although that's not a totally unreasonable statement...Actually, that Divas' match is pretty much everything I hated about the crowd. First off, there was a special guest ring announcer, Judah Friedlander. He's a really funny stand up comedian. He's a star on the hilarious 30 Rock and is a legit WWE fan. He loves wrestling so much that he had a small role in The Wrestler. Is he the biggest star in the world? No. Is 30 Rock really in most WWE fans' TiVos? Probably not. But you still feel bad when people start chanting vulgarities at him just because he's not familiar to them. Of course, then the match started and people were captivated by the
I'm well aware of the irony of all this. I objectify the Divas with as much regularity/vulgarity as anyone else does. I believe I once said that "Undertaker jism must have skin tightening properties" in reference to how solid Michelle McCool's abs are. But something about just screaming out "I want to see pussy!" with out any form of irony within ear shot of these women is just disgusting to me. In fact, when leaving the show, some dude in an Ed Hardy shirt said he needed to "go get a slice of pussy" after the show. Class.
This is also why I did not use this opportunity to promote the blog with palm cards or whatever. I think our humour would be lost on this crowd. And by "think" I mean "I know they will not appreciate our shrines to wrestler hog pictures." And trust me, I'd rather not have a million comments calling us "fags."
Another thing I hated, although this is mostly because the crowd was full of kids, was the complete lack of pop for Roddy Piper. This man is a LEGEND, kids. He was hilarious all night and even brought back in the Iron Sheik.
Side note: The theme for the show should have been Raw is Bury Hogan.
Again, I can sort of understand. Piper name dropped a bunch of older wrestlers who don't get much publicity now-a-days, and he also mentioned an interview he did with HBO Sports back in 2003, so it's reasonable that a kid born in 2001 wouldn't quite know what to make of it. I blame the product the schools for not letting the kids be rowdy.
Basically, I'm too old for this stuff. I don't find it entertaining anymore. And since it was a TV taping, the matches were much shorter than I'd enjoy. Maybe if this were a house show I'd of had more fun. Or maybe I need to be become even more elitist and start going to ROH shows. On second thought, those fans are even worse. Maybe, I just need to say goodbye to wresslin'.
It was fun while it lasted, but maybe I'm no longer an emotionally arrested male. Whatever intelligent discourse we try to bring to this piece of Americana will always be overshadowed by the ignorant rubes who also enjoy watching it. I'm not one to let others affect my enjoyment of things (like Batista, I walk alone to many pits of danger/concerts), but I don't think I could actually look anyone in the face and say "I'm going to Monday Night Raw!!" It's my own pissy attitude to get over, sure. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong to feel that way.
Oh, and if I'm not being snooty enough, if any of you guys use The Facebook, please vote for the charity I work with in this Chase Manhattan contest. All the money is for a good cause and all you have to do is allow Chase Manhattan complete access to all the info on your Facebook page!
In the event that this badge doesn't reroute you, the charity is Minds Matter New York. It's an educational charity for underprivileged kids. Why yes, I am so thoughtful. Thank you.
Monday, November 23, 2009
OH BABY, I like it Raw! Survivor Series
Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.
For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...
Ah yes, the annual test of survival that is "Survivor Series" was last night. Before getting to the results of the evening, allow to make one quick note about last week's Raw. It was hosted by Rowdy Roddy Piper, which despite a couple flubs (of note would be Roddy claiming he'd been in "thousands of car wrecks"), Piper was his old, true self. Good stuff and I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Now, on to the goods.
This pay-per-view featured several of the tradional Survivor Series matches, one of those being Team Miz versus Team Morrison. Look guys, I thought we settled all this at "Bragging Rights." There's no need to drag eight other guys into your petty battle over who's more "Jannetty-ish." Morrison, you look like a douche. And Miz, you are one, so that should be that.
Team Miz consisted of Miz, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler. Team Morrison had John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Finlay, Evan Bourne and Shelton Benjamin. Of course, with those guys in the ring, the action would be fast and furious...
Alright Shelton, go ahead and beat your chest once.
And downright dirty at times...
Fellas, in this scene, I want you to give your most dastardly faces.
Of course, things wouldn't be great without some a little civil war.
Team Miz would end up gaining a 3-to-1 advantage, with just John Morrison on the other side of the ring, prompting the Friday Night Delight to pull out some unusual offense.
But Sheamus would be the star of the night, using some old tricks and bringing down the Ab Roller spokesman for the 1-2-3.
The Celtic Cross!
A-Miz-ingly, the Miz was able to put together a winning team with some Smackdown members. I may not like the guy, but that's certainly a testament to his leadership abilities.
Then we had another Suvivor Series match between Team Fakin' Jamaican and Team Hogzilla. Team Kofi would boast the likes of Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth and Christian. If you're thinking this team has little in common, you're wrong: they're all Canadian.
On the other end, it was Randy, C.M. Punk, Ted DiBiase Jr., William Regal and Cody Rhodes.
Look at that Smackdown guy disturbing the peace, as usual...
If you're wondering how the young members of Legacy held up in this contest, this is somewhat telling: Christian eliminated them both.
Cody Rhodes falling victim to the dreaded "Hole Hold."
Eventually, things were whittled down to Kofi versus two former heavyweight champions, C.M. Punk and Randy Orton. Punk would take his shot first.
Perhaps the Straight Edge Superstar should find a straight razor.
Kingston handled that mess easily. It was then on to the Viper, which again, Kofi would manhandle.
And there's so much man to handle.
Team Kofi wins, via the rule of "One heel team and one face team must win."
Finally, it was time for DX versus John Cena for the WWE Championship. Now, in the previous weeks, Trips and HBK have promised a unified front against John Cena, and during the introductions, they delivered on that promise. But at some point, someone's gotta beat somebody, and Shawn said, "Screw it. May as well be me."
Seems like people would stop picking Michaels as a partner.
That was just moments into the match. However, you should know by now, Triple H isn't going to sit out a title match, and sprung back into action, proving that old adage "revenge is a dish best served on an announce table."
Mr. Cena was able to survive the two veterans and managed to perform a move only small children dared to dream - the Attitude Adjustment on top of another person.
Pay attention, son. This is wrestling history you're seeing here today.
Needless to say, Mr. Cena had his choice on who to pin, and he picked Triple H, because why not? So, to the surprise of some young kids who were too stupid to know better, Cena remains your WWE Champion.
Tune in tonight for a special three-hour Raw, hosted by former governor Jesse Ventura! Political discussion to abound! 8/7c on USA!
For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...
Ah yes, the annual test of survival that is "Survivor Series" was last night. Before getting to the results of the evening, allow to make one quick note about last week's Raw. It was hosted by Rowdy Roddy Piper, which despite a couple flubs (of note would be Roddy claiming he'd been in "thousands of car wrecks"), Piper was his old, true self. Good stuff and I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Now, on to the goods.
This pay-per-view featured several of the tradional Survivor Series matches, one of those being Team Miz versus Team Morrison. Look guys, I thought we settled all this at "Bragging Rights." There's no need to drag eight other guys into your petty battle over who's more "Jannetty-ish." Morrison, you look like a douche. And Miz, you are one, so that should be that.
Team Miz consisted of Miz, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler. Team Morrison had John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Finlay, Evan Bourne and Shelton Benjamin. Of course, with those guys in the ring, the action would be fast and furious...
Alright Shelton, go ahead and beat your chest once.And downright dirty at times...
Fellas, in this scene, I want you to give your most dastardly faces.Of course, things wouldn't be great without some a little civil war.
Team Miz would end up gaining a 3-to-1 advantage, with just John Morrison on the other side of the ring, prompting the Friday Night Delight to pull out some unusual offense.
But Sheamus would be the star of the night, using some old tricks and bringing down the Ab Roller spokesman for the 1-2-3.
The Celtic Cross!A-Miz-ingly, the Miz was able to put together a winning team with some Smackdown members. I may not like the guy, but that's certainly a testament to his leadership abilities.
Then we had another Suvivor Series match between Team Fakin' Jamaican and Team Hogzilla. Team Kofi would boast the likes of Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth and Christian. If you're thinking this team has little in common, you're wrong: they're all Canadian.
On the other end, it was Randy, C.M. Punk, Ted DiBiase Jr., William Regal and Cody Rhodes.
Look at that Smackdown guy disturbing the peace, as usual...If you're wondering how the young members of Legacy held up in this contest, this is somewhat telling: Christian eliminated them both.
Cody Rhodes falling victim to the dreaded "Hole Hold."Eventually, things were whittled down to Kofi versus two former heavyweight champions, C.M. Punk and Randy Orton. Punk would take his shot first.
Perhaps the Straight Edge Superstar should find a straight razor.Kingston handled that mess easily. It was then on to the Viper, which again, Kofi would manhandle.
And there's so much man to handle.Team Kofi wins, via the rule of "One heel team and one face team must win."
Finally, it was time for DX versus John Cena for the WWE Championship. Now, in the previous weeks, Trips and HBK have promised a unified front against John Cena, and during the introductions, they delivered on that promise. But at some point, someone's gotta beat somebody, and Shawn said, "Screw it. May as well be me."
Seems like people would stop picking Michaels as a partner.That was just moments into the match. However, you should know by now, Triple H isn't going to sit out a title match, and sprung back into action, proving that old adage "revenge is a dish best served on an announce table."
Mr. Cena was able to survive the two veterans and managed to perform a move only small children dared to dream - the Attitude Adjustment on top of another person.
Pay attention, son. This is wrestling history you're seeing here today.Needless to say, Mr. Cena had his choice on who to pin, and he picked Triple H, because why not? So, to the surprise of some young kids who were too stupid to know better, Cena remains your WWE Champion.
Tune in tonight for a special three-hour Raw, hosted by former governor Jesse Ventura! Political discussion to abound! 8/7c on USA!
Friday, November 20, 2009
R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Destruction before Survival
Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.
It seems like I say this every couple weeks, but there's a show that you must pay for each viewing coming up this Sunday. This one isn't stupid though. Nope. It's one of the important ones! Survivor Series, where a lot of workers get a PPV bonus because of all the huge tag matches!
However, we must first talk about last week's Smackdown. It took place over in some rainy island that lost its empire. I'm pretty sure Ray over at Wrestlegasm was popping a major girl boner for her one chance to see CM Punk. Lucky for us, he didn't do much in last week on Smackdown, so we can talk about more pleasant things.
Like Mickie James.
Veteran"? Isn't that just code for "old"? It seems as if Mickie has heat with the interns of WWE.com too.
She wrestled Natayla, who is not remotely involved in Survivor Series. As such, you'd expect her to get her butt trounced, but no! Mean girls Michelle McCool and Layla decided to cut up Mickie James sparkle jeans! Natayla then locked in the sharpshooter, the move Shawn Michaels used to screw her uncle Bret out of the WWF Title at Survivor Series 1997.
Side note from the "Where are they know?" files: Did you know that Bret Hart eventually suffered a stroke?
Girls only care about clothes, lulz.
In other Ray boner news, WWE decided to split the crowd reaction and have two dudes from the UK fight. Scottish (right?) Drew McIntyre took on Irish (right?) Finlay in a fight of Twister level of epicness.
"Our beer is better, chap!"
Anyway, these two went so hog wild on each other's bodies that the referee ejaculated lost control and just disqualified both men. You know (tm), for a "future world champion" Drew McIntyre sure doesn't do much to make himself standup. If he debuted three years earlier he'd be part of the Spirit Squad.
That could have been Drew McIntyre
People love to pity Rey Mysterio, because his friends seem to turn on him all the time. Well you now (tm) what I think? What's the one constant in that equation? Maybe Rey is the problem!? Well, rather then be a rational adult and sort things out or avoid the confrontation, Rey is fighting his former friend Batista (he's bad now) at the Survivor Series. Well, only one way to make this official- contract signing!
Face=black
Heel=white
This contract signing was pretty mundane; no lawyers present, parties only need sign one line and not actually review the document, and no one notarizes it nor is an official witness. Just like when I signed my mortgage! And of course, the parties choose to yell at each other after they sign the document, thereby showing the mutual agreement that they both promised to uphold.
Or "I make a unilateral deal alone!"
And of course, it ends in a fight. Just like they teach you in law school.
The main event was World Champion the Undertaker taking on one half of the Unified Tag Champs, Chris Jericho, in OMG!!!111!!THEFIRSTTIMEEVER!!11!!!11!BBQSHIFT1ONE
Yea, sorry to say it, but this one was a little weak. Who would have thought that a World Champion, responsible for PPV buys, ratings, and being an overall merchandise mover who only has one hip could no longer have awesome matches? Common knowledge would make you believe that you have him put over other talent, elevating them as he slowly declines into poor health, but hey, this is WWE! Why bother planning that far ahead when they can just give away this match with hardly any build?
Oh, and Undertaker goes over in the match and THEN the Big Show interferes so Jericho can get his heat back. Because why have the match end in a no-finish when you can let Jericho job again, thereby leaving little doubt who will win on Sunday?
Step 1 of logical booking
Step 2
Oh, and speaking of heat...KANE!
Step 3: Profit!
There will be a tag match tonight with those four dudes. At least one of them can work! Avert your eyes to MyNetwork TV at 8/7c! Or log into hulu.com before they make you pay!
It seems like I say this every couple weeks, but there's a show that you must pay for each viewing coming up this Sunday. This one isn't stupid though. Nope. It's one of the important ones! Survivor Series, where a lot of workers get a PPV bonus because of all the huge tag matches!
However, we must first talk about last week's Smackdown. It took place over in some rainy island that lost its empire. I'm pretty sure Ray over at Wrestlegasm was popping a major girl boner for her one chance to see CM Punk. Lucky for us, he didn't do much in last week on Smackdown, so we can talk about more pleasant things.
Like Mickie James.
Veteran"? Isn't that just code for "old"? It seems as if Mickie has heat with the interns of WWE.com too.She wrestled Natayla, who is not remotely involved in Survivor Series. As such, you'd expect her to get her butt trounced, but no! Mean girls Michelle McCool and Layla decided to cut up Mickie James sparkle jeans! Natayla then locked in the sharpshooter, the move Shawn Michaels used to screw her uncle Bret out of the WWF Title at Survivor Series 1997.
Side note from the "Where are they know?" files: Did you know that Bret Hart eventually suffered a stroke?
Girls only care about clothes, lulz.In other Ray boner news, WWE decided to split the crowd reaction and have two dudes from the UK fight. Scottish (right?) Drew McIntyre took on Irish (right?) Finlay in a fight of Twister level of epicness.
"Our beer is better, chap!"
That could have been Drew McIntyrePeople love to pity Rey Mysterio, because his friends seem to turn on him all the time. Well you now (tm) what I think? What's the one constant in that equation? Maybe Rey is the problem!? Well, rather then be a rational adult and sort things out or avoid the confrontation, Rey is fighting his former friend Batista (he's bad now) at the Survivor Series. Well, only one way to make this official- contract signing!
Face=black
Heel=whiteThis contract signing was pretty mundane; no lawyers present, parties only need sign one line and not actually review the document, and no one notarizes it nor is an official witness. Just like when I signed my mortgage! And of course, the parties choose to yell at each other after they sign the document, thereby showing the mutual agreement that they both promised to uphold.
Or "I make a unilateral deal alone!"And of course, it ends in a fight. Just like they teach you in law school.
The main event was World Champion the Undertaker taking on one half of the Unified Tag Champs, Chris Jericho, in OMG!!!111!!THEFIRSTTIMEEVER!!11!!!11!BBQSHIFT1ONE
Yea, sorry to say it, but this one was a little weak. Who would have thought that a World Champion, responsible for PPV buys, ratings, and being an overall merchandise mover who only has one hip could no longer have awesome matches? Common knowledge would make you believe that you have him put over other talent, elevating them as he slowly declines into poor health, but hey, this is WWE! Why bother planning that far ahead when they can just give away this match with hardly any build?
Oh, and Undertaker goes over in the match and THEN the Big Show interferes so Jericho can get his heat back. Because why have the match end in a no-finish when you can let Jericho job again, thereby leaving little doubt who will win on Sunday?
Step 1 of logical booking
Step 2Oh, and speaking of heat...KANE!
Step 3: Profit!There will be a tag match tonight with those four dudes. At least one of them can work! Avert your eyes to MyNetwork TV at 8/7c! Or log into hulu.com before they make you pay!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
THE MOST INCREDIBLE THING IN THE HISTORY OF LIFE
Holy crap, did you hear??! Hulk Hogan got cut open during a brawl with Ric Flair as they were promoting their upcoming tour of Australia!
See!
According to reports, Hogan and Flair were conducting a press conference when things got heated and Ric Flair up and slapped Hogan right in the face!!
There's even a video! This is amazing! Please stop whatever you are doing (which, presumably is reading this blog) and watch this right now!!!
Things turned sour when two traded barbs over their failed marriages. Ooooh, low blows, gentlemen! That would piss anyone off, but with the likes of combustible elements like Hogan, who just went through a nasty divorce, and Flair, who's working on his fourth divorce, that's a little below the belt!
Hogan was left a bloody heap, but luckily Nasty Boy Brian Knobbs was there to help his friend to safety!!
The religious analogy is apparent and true.
Media outlets like TMZ and the Australian News have covered the fight, so it has to be true! What could this mean for the future of the tour?? Is Hogan going to be able to wrestle? And if so, what does that mean for Flair? Hogan's going to have a lot of anger built up by the time of their match, so he's going to come out swinging for sure! This is definitely going to be a slobber-knocker, as they say!
Let's not forget that since this was not a sanctioned fight, Flair could be charged with assault! What might that mean??! Will he even be able to make it to the match?! He has enough legal trouble as it is; can he handle the stress of more?!! How would a lengthy trial affect his new bride?! These are all things that could happen, people!
It's easy for so many of you to look at this and say, "Oh, those Laugh Twins are having a lark about the whole thing," but we don't think you understand the seriousness of what just happened! This isn't fake! This happened during a press conference and not in the ring, so these two have real animosity toward each other and that's something that cannot be ignored! You're foolish if you think that doesn't matter!!
We, for two, will be keenly tuned in to the goings-on down in Australia to make sure one of these warriors doesn't leave in a body bag!!! Keep with us for updates!!
See!According to reports, Hogan and Flair were conducting a press conference when things got heated and Ric Flair up and slapped Hogan right in the face!!
There's even a video! This is amazing! Please stop whatever you are doing (which, presumably is reading this blog) and watch this right now!!!
Things turned sour when two traded barbs over their failed marriages. Ooooh, low blows, gentlemen! That would piss anyone off, but with the likes of combustible elements like Hogan, who just went through a nasty divorce, and Flair, who's working on his fourth divorce, that's a little below the belt!
Hogan was left a bloody heap, but luckily Nasty Boy Brian Knobbs was there to help his friend to safety!!
The religious analogy is apparent and true.Media outlets like TMZ and the Australian News have covered the fight, so it has to be true! What could this mean for the future of the tour?? Is Hogan going to be able to wrestle? And if so, what does that mean for Flair? Hogan's going to have a lot of anger built up by the time of their match, so he's going to come out swinging for sure! This is definitely going to be a slobber-knocker, as they say!
Let's not forget that since this was not a sanctioned fight, Flair could be charged with assault! What might that mean??! Will he even be able to make it to the match?! He has enough legal trouble as it is; can he handle the stress of more?!! How would a lengthy trial affect his new bride?! These are all things that could happen, people!
It's easy for so many of you to look at this and say, "Oh, those Laugh Twins are having a lark about the whole thing," but we don't think you understand the seriousness of what just happened! This isn't fake! This happened during a press conference and not in the ring, so these two have real animosity toward each other and that's something that cannot be ignored! You're foolish if you think that doesn't matter!!
We, for two, will be keenly tuned in to the goings-on down in Australia to make sure one of these warriors doesn't leave in a body bag!!! Keep with us for updates!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
W.W.W. featuring a defunct wrestling promotion and Shane O'Mac
On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.
So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.
Better at naming stuff than us.
The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your break-down of Linda McMahon's chances at being elected ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.
After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Adam's video to Matt - Matt Sydal vs. Matt Classic
Matt's response...
At first, I thought, "Hey, both these guys are named Matt! This video has to be great!" Then I realized that it was actually Scotty Goldman and Evan Bourne, and that "has to be" changed to "can in no way." This all has to do with Adam's weird fascination with Goldman. Sure, we follow him on Twitter. You know why? Adam added him. I've added Dixie Carter and Layla. I think we know where our heads are at.
I don't know why, but he never really gelled with me. Sure, I get his bit, and it's fine. He's sort of that wrestler that some of the marks like because he throws out inside jokes and references wrestling's glory days (like this Matt Classic character, which, if the dates are to be believed, is a 60-something-year-old wrestler in a mask. Like that would ever happen!)
Er...um...
But nothing against the guy. He's just not my thing. I don't hate him; I don't like him. So there you go. Same thing for Evan Bourne (real name Matthew Korklan, so points for that). He has just not given me anything to be excited about, and strikes me as a more-agile Lance Storm.
In any case, I don't have much to say about the match itself. It was good for what it was. Sydal did his thing well, and Classic stuck to his gimmick, which made for some appropriately cheesy moments. Sydal's girlfriend, Lizzy Valentine, looked like she made a quick stop by Ross on the way to the show, finding her costume on the "50% off" rack. What I would like to highlight is the promotion in which they are competing - Wrestling Society X.
This was apparently some show put together for the MTV family of networks that I've never heard of. It's ok; I'm a mainstreamer, and I don't pretend to be otherwise. That being said, I think I would have liked this little show. It ran for nine episodes in 2007, with the tenth never airing, despite it having what is both descriptively and intriguingly named the "Exploding Cage Match." The fact that was never broadcast is a tragedy.
It featured what can best be described as a cast of miscreants, and had it's own special venue with its own special rules. Allow me also to provide this nugget about its production, taking from the finest research tools at my disposal:
Had I known Sam Raimi would be directing the show, I would have definitely tuned in!
Also, being on MTV, they decided to make it tangentially related to music, so acts would come in and perform before each episode, include Oscar-winning group Three 6 Mafia. Of course, Good Charlotte also played, so you can kind of see why it got canceled.
I don't have much patience for the wrestlers whose gimmick is "being weird just to be weird," which is why I have a problem with some of the performers in TNA these days, but something tells me that in this venue, it would have worked. A more cartoonish and campy product would be nice in limited doses, and I'm a little sad I missed out on this promotion.
I'm not sad that I missed out on more Scotty Goldman, but I'm sure Adam will see to it that I don't go for too long without him.
Matt's video to Adam- Shane McMahon Judges Aspiring WWE Superstars on O&A
Adam's response...
Look at how the tables have turned. Sure, Matt may crap on the repetitive nature of the videos I've sent him, but now who's the Opie and Anthony mark, Matty??!?!?!
Nope...no marks here!
This video isn't so much about Shane McMahon as much as it's about a bunch of fat WWE marks.
Nope, no fats here!
Still, it's nice to see Shane O'Mac loving WWE, because in six short weeks that's all going to be gone. It's a shame he had to waste that love on a few misfit toys.
Take for example, The Executive Order. He had an interesting gimmick and was pretty funny when he brought out his chart, but he just didn't believe it. He sort of mumbled it. Perhaps rehearsing in front of the mirror would have won him that trip to Indianapolis. Still, he'll have to drown his sorrow in more cheese steaks, since that belly a'int getting on the other side of that belt anytime soon.
Mouthwash Jones (who is not me) thought he'd be cute and make fun of ERock.
For those not in the know, ERock is the show's producer. He's fat so he gets made fun of a lot. He also loves "Straight Up" by Paula Abdul, but loves wrestling even more. I say good for him that he spit mouthwash in that douche's face. I bet "ERockFan" who posted this video is even happier.
Next was "Stryker", which is a stupid name because replacing "I" with "Y" was out of style back in 1985. Also, WWE already has a "Matt Striker", so I fail to see what makes him different. Even his logo is ripped off from The Flash.
Anyway, once again allow me to explain. The Jill Nicolini he refers to is the traffic girl for WPIX in New York. She's a looker. At the time she was co-host Anthony's girlfriend (which is astounding because he is hideous), so name dropping her was a cute way to get brownie points. Except he did it wrong.
That's really not fair.
Anyway, their break up is rather hilarious. Listen to the clips if you can.
Next up was some dude who put in way too much effort. Thank God ERock locked in the Kata Hajime (Tazmission, newb).
Finally, we have our winner. Type A. Which is ironic, in my opinion. Sure, he may have a similar blood pressure as a Type A individual, but that's about where the similarities stop. Wouldn't you think a Type A man would be, I dunno, a little more motivated?
Still, he won because he actually bothered to rehearse. And he "ended strong" according to Shane. If by strong you mean screaming "boo-ya!"
More like "Bukakke-ya!", dork.
I probably should have entered this contest. I would have won easily and realized I hate live wrestling much sooner in my life.
So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays," the ORIGINAL wrestling-themed, YouTube video comedic co-commentary. Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.
Better at naming stuff than us. The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your break-down of Linda McMahon's chances at being elected ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.
After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Adam's video to Matt - Matt Sydal vs. Matt Classic
Matt's response...
At first, I thought, "Hey, both these guys are named Matt! This video has to be great!" Then I realized that it was actually Scotty Goldman and Evan Bourne, and that "has to be" changed to "can in no way." This all has to do with Adam's weird fascination with Goldman. Sure, we follow him on Twitter. You know why? Adam added him. I've added Dixie Carter and Layla. I think we know where our heads are at.
I don't know why, but he never really gelled with me. Sure, I get his bit, and it's fine. He's sort of that wrestler that some of the marks like because he throws out inside jokes and references wrestling's glory days (like this Matt Classic character, which, if the dates are to be believed, is a 60-something-year-old wrestler in a mask. Like that would ever happen!)
Er...um... But nothing against the guy. He's just not my thing. I don't hate him; I don't like him. So there you go. Same thing for Evan Bourne (real name Matthew Korklan, so points for that). He has just not given me anything to be excited about, and strikes me as a more-agile Lance Storm.
In any case, I don't have much to say about the match itself. It was good for what it was. Sydal did his thing well, and Classic stuck to his gimmick, which made for some appropriately cheesy moments. Sydal's girlfriend, Lizzy Valentine, looked like she made a quick stop by Ross on the way to the show, finding her costume on the "50% off" rack. What I would like to highlight is the promotion in which they are competing - Wrestling Society X.
This was apparently some show put together for the MTV family of networks that I've never heard of. It's ok; I'm a mainstreamer, and I don't pretend to be otherwise. That being said, I think I would have liked this little show. It ran for nine episodes in 2007, with the tenth never airing, despite it having what is both descriptively and intriguingly named the "Exploding Cage Match." The fact that was never broadcast is a tragedy.
It featured what can best be described as a cast of miscreants, and had it's own special venue with its own special rules. Allow me also to provide this nugget about its production, taking from the finest research tools at my disposal:
The program also stood out due to its unorthodox approach to pro wrestling; this included frequent use of highly expressive plants, crowd sound effects, electrical sound effects, visual effects, and camera shaking when a wrestler would fall prey to electrical weapons.
Had I known Sam Raimi would be directing the show, I would have definitely tuned in!
Also, being on MTV, they decided to make it tangentially related to music, so acts would come in and perform before each episode, include Oscar-winning group Three 6 Mafia. Of course, Good Charlotte also played, so you can kind of see why it got canceled.
I don't have much patience for the wrestlers whose gimmick is "being weird just to be weird," which is why I have a problem with some of the performers in TNA these days, but something tells me that in this venue, it would have worked. A more cartoonish and campy product would be nice in limited doses, and I'm a little sad I missed out on this promotion.
I'm not sad that I missed out on more Scotty Goldman, but I'm sure Adam will see to it that I don't go for too long without him.
Matt's video to Adam- Shane McMahon Judges Aspiring WWE Superstars on O&A
Adam's response...
Look at how the tables have turned. Sure, Matt may crap on the repetitive nature of the videos I've sent him, but now who's the Opie and Anthony mark, Matty??!?!?!
Nope...no marks here!This video isn't so much about Shane McMahon as much as it's about a bunch of fat WWE marks.
Nope, no fats here!Still, it's nice to see Shane O'Mac loving WWE, because in six short weeks that's all going to be gone. It's a shame he had to waste that love on a few misfit toys.
Take for example, The Executive Order. He had an interesting gimmick and was pretty funny when he brought out his chart, but he just didn't believe it. He sort of mumbled it. Perhaps rehearsing in front of the mirror would have won him that trip to Indianapolis. Still, he'll have to drown his sorrow in more cheese steaks, since that belly a'int getting on the other side of that belt anytime soon.
Mouthwash Jones (who is not me) thought he'd be cute and make fun of ERock.
For those not in the know, ERock is the show's producer. He's fat so he gets made fun of a lot. He also loves "Straight Up" by Paula Abdul, but loves wrestling even more. I say good for him that he spit mouthwash in that douche's face. I bet "ERockFan" who posted this video is even happier.
Next was "Stryker", which is a stupid name because replacing "I" with "Y" was out of style back in 1985. Also, WWE already has a "Matt Striker", so I fail to see what makes him different. Even his logo is ripped off from The Flash.
Anyway, once again allow me to explain. The Jill Nicolini he refers to is the traffic girl for WPIX in New York. She's a looker. At the time she was co-host Anthony's girlfriend (which is astounding because he is hideous), so name dropping her was a cute way to get brownie points. Except he did it wrong.
That's really not fair.Anyway, their break up is rather hilarious. Listen to the clips if you can.
Next up was some dude who put in way too much effort. Thank God ERock locked in the Kata Hajime (Tazmission, newb).
Finally, we have our winner. Type A. Which is ironic, in my opinion. Sure, he may have a similar blood pressure as a Type A individual, but that's about where the similarities stop. Wouldn't you think a Type A man would be, I dunno, a little more motivated?
Still, he won because he actually bothered to rehearse. And he "ended strong" according to Shane. If by strong you mean screaming "boo-ya!"
More like "Bukakke-ya!", dork.I probably should have entered this contest. I would have won easily and realized I hate live wrestling much sooner in my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
