R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Altered Beast

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



Oh my! Lightning round today!

So Beth Phoenix continued to beat up jobbers, all the while WWE.com couldn't be bothered to remember the poor girl's name.

This poor girl reminds me of my second favorite part of watching TNA

In other jobber news, Drew McIntyre decided to walk that path to becoming a future world champion by having a match against Smackdown "superstar" Jimmy Wang Yang! Hmmm....one British guy who's in the middle of a push against someone we haven't seen on television in forever....this seems familiar.

Oh yea...

Anyway, McIntyre totally beat Wang (hehe) before the match started, but Wang wasn't quite licked (hehe.) The match actually took place, but McIntyre just laid down some uber pwnge.


CM Punk continued his feud with nobodies as he took on R-Truth. Now it may be "true" that Truth has the best entrance in Smackdown vs Raw 2010, but that doesn't mean he's more awesome then the Straight-Edge Superstar

Side note, now that Batista is a heel, him and Punk should start a tag team called "The Second City Masheen Gunz." All credit goes to Matt for that zinger.

Anyway, Truth sure did ask Punk "What's up?", didn't he?

Yea, I went there.

And then he decided to do his best Shelton Benjamin impression (yes, I said Shelton Benjamin because they're both black. If R-Truth were white I'd compare him to Jeff Hardy and if he were Native American I'd compare him to Amazing Red. Go ahead and call me a racist.) by diving out of the ring to knock out his opponent!

What? It's not like I'm saying R-Truth should have been a subject in the Tuskegee syphilis experiment.

Still, CM Punk is a former World Champion, whereas R-Truth is only a former NWA-World champion! You can't keep the hardcore hamwallet down for too long! How do you counter high flying! Simple! Rest holds Mexican surfboard!

Above: Latin charms

You'd never know it from WWE.com, but Truth won the match. Punk thought he had a 1-2-3 when his old nemesis, referee Scott Armstrong, counted slow. While Punk instructed Armstrong to count faster, Truth rolled up our shining example of virtue and Armstrong fast counted a three. Conspiracy!

However, WWE.com isn't all bad. Have I mentioned that I love the interns there? Take a look at this beautiful caption from the Batista/Matt Hardy match:

Ok, the cats out of the bag. We're actually WWE employees.

We all know that it's impossible to fight an uncaged Animal. Why did Matt Hardy even bother? Seriously. It also didn't help that Big Dave mounted the mush mouthed 'mo while he took a Twitter break.

Do I really need to? Ok, fine. "You're gunna get raped!"

Although I imagine being an uncaged Animal is awesome, there are some nasty side effects. Sometimes you walk alone into that pit of danger one too many times and forget the rules. Which is just what happened to Batista as he got DQ'd for hitting Matt with some television monitors (what?!) But hey, that happens when you're compared to the third best Sega Genesis game of all time.

Stand next to the announce table and tap A!

Also, I love the WWE.com interns.

Poetry

Yea, so clearly I didn't care about writing this one. Why should you care about reading it? You deserve better. Start by watching Smackdown (which is over half way finished by this point) on MyNetwork TV at 8/7c. Or at work this Monday on hulu.com!