First, I'm well aware that this probably should have been written a week ago. I didn't want to usurp Matt's Raw recap, but then I realized after the fact that Survivor Series was this past Sunday, so thus, we wouldn't have mentioned it. Whoops.
Also, I don't have a digital camera, so I didn't take any pictures of the event. Sorry.
Anyway, I attended last week's Raw. It was a birthday present to Intern Brian. It was also my first live event since Summerslam 2005. Let's just say that I was sorely disappointed.
I know. It's weird. You'd figure a live event from at Madison Square Garden hosted by Rowdy Roddy Piper (!) would be the most fun event in the world. And it sort of was. The show itself was good, I thought. I just really hated the crowd.
Seriously. I was embarrassed to be there.
I know I shouldn't have been. I didn't expect anything different. I just hated them. It's astounding how much I hated them. I know that WWE is TV-PG now, so I'm fine with all the kids there. Kids are annoying and selfish, sure, but they're kids. Let them hold up their signs and crotch chop and cheer John Cena until the cows come home. But the sheer amount of adults who acted terribly was startling to me.
There were adults, full fledged adults, who were getting in verbal fights with kids over various wrestling related things. Swearing at little kids. And just being all together disgusting. You'd think these men have never seen a woman before in their life. But lo and behold, when the Divas came out was the pop ever deafening. And this is today, when the T&A is downplayed to such a degree I get more aroused watching Giada De Laurentiis cook.
Although that's not a totally unreasonable statement...Actually, that Divas' match is pretty much everything I hated about the crowd. First off, there was a special guest ring announcer, Judah Friedlander. He's a really funny stand up comedian. He's a star on the hilarious 30 Rock and is a legit WWE fan. He loves wrestling so much that he had a small role in The Wrestler. Is he the biggest star in the world? No. Is 30 Rock really in most WWE fans' TiVos? Probably not. But you still feel bad when people start chanting vulgarities at him just because he's not familiar to them. Of course, then the match started and people were captivated by the
I'm well aware of the irony of all this. I objectify the Divas with as much regularity/vulgarity as anyone else does. I believe I once said that "Undertaker jism must have skin tightening properties" in reference to how solid Michelle McCool's abs are. But something about just screaming out "I want to see pussy!" with out any form of irony within ear shot of these women is just disgusting to me. In fact, when leaving the show, some dude in an Ed Hardy shirt said he needed to "go get a slice of pussy" after the show. Class.
This is also why I did not use this opportunity to promote the blog with palm cards or whatever. I think our humour would be lost on this crowd. And by "think" I mean "I know they will not appreciate our shrines to wrestler hog pictures." And trust me, I'd rather not have a million comments calling us "fags."
Another thing I hated, although this is mostly because the crowd was full of kids, was the complete lack of pop for Roddy Piper. This man is a LEGEND, kids. He was hilarious all night and even brought back in the Iron Sheik.
Side note: The theme for the show should have been Raw is Bury Hogan.
Again, I can sort of understand. Piper name dropped a bunch of older wrestlers who don't get much publicity now-a-days, and he also mentioned an interview he did with HBO Sports back in 2003, so it's reasonable that a kid born in 2001 wouldn't quite know what to make of it. I blame the product the schools for not letting the kids be rowdy.
Basically, I'm too old for this stuff. I don't find it entertaining anymore. And since it was a TV taping, the matches were much shorter than I'd enjoy. Maybe if this were a house show I'd of had more fun. Or maybe I need to be become even more elitist and start going to ROH shows. On second thought, those fans are even worse. Maybe, I just need to say goodbye to wresslin'.
It was fun while it lasted, but maybe I'm no longer an emotionally arrested male. Whatever intelligent discourse we try to bring to this piece of Americana will always be overshadowed by the ignorant rubes who also enjoy watching it. I'm not one to let others affect my enjoyment of things (like Batista, I walk alone to many pits of danger/concerts), but I don't think I could actually look anyone in the face and say "I'm going to Monday Night Raw!!" It's my own pissy attitude to get over, sure. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong to feel that way.
Oh, and if I'm not being snooty enough, if any of you guys use The Facebook, please vote for the charity I work with in this Chase Manhattan contest. All the money is for a good cause and all you have to do is allow Chase Manhattan complete access to all the info on your Facebook page!
In the event that this badge doesn't reroute you, the charity is Minds Matter New York. It's an educational charity for underprivileged kids. Why yes, I am so thoughtful. Thank you.
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