R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? Smackdown for Survival

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



Yes, Smackdown just kept on rolling this (last!) week. Nothing astronomical happened, but sometimes you need to be lulled into a false sense of complacency before awesome things happen. I mean, it's not like we have "awesome" guest hosts every week to keep us at a perpetual eleven, right dudes?

Also, since Smackdown was in Buffalo, NY they decided to book local girl Beth Phoenix very strong. Here's what WWE.com thought of her match.

Yup, "local athlete." You can tell she's not a WWE Diva by her ethnicity and cup size. One guess as to how this one went. Still, this match was not without it's own awesomeness, but it actually was behind the microphone. As we all know, Jim Ross got the palzees again, so he's not fit for TV. Matt Striker has been promoted from ECW to Smackdown. Still, even in this throwaway match he managed to get "local athelte" over by mentioning a peculiar history with Beth Phoenix; turns out both were high school amateur wrestler's and Beth lost to her then. Now she wants revenge!

Smackdown: Your home for jobber back story.

In other Diva news, Cryme Tyme decided that wrestling isn't really there thing. They're much better as MC's for Halloween costume contests! Four WWE Divas competed and-

Too soon! Too soon!

Also, Michelle McCool showed us that she understands what "irony" is.

Madonna/slut complex

Wait though, they're both heels! We, the WWE Universe, can't vote for heels to win! Never! Who will save us! Who else but Mickie James!

She's got a thing for blind lawyers from Hell's Kitchen

Yes, Mickie James came dressed as Elektra, of Marvel Comics and 2005 film bomb (a sequel to the panned Daredevil, natch). Yup, because I want to vote for the Diva who reminds me of my "favorite" Evansesence song.

This is just silly, but CM Punk demanded ANOTHER title match. He didn't get it, because The Boss (not him or him, but him), said he had enough. Instead, "Mr. Punk" would get what he REALLY wants; a match against referee Scott Armstrong.

Who's who? I can't tell! I'm confused!

Oh man, I really want to buy a PPV to resolve this feud!

Does the referee's union allow this kind of treatment?

Rey Mysterio walked down to the ring in his Monochromatic Ed Hardy Sadness Coat to boo-hoo his way out of a Batista bomb. Yes, tons of talk about "brotherhood" and "regret" and other things frat boys do while drinking Jager and kissing. Everything was cool until Big Dave ignited this bomb:

Or "I TELL REY THAT EDDIE DIED FOUR YEARS AGO ALONE!"

"I'm going to go drown my sorrows in a tip frosting, Affliction shopping spree."

Well, that's just unpleasant. Of course, it has been about four years or so. I don't think we can blame WWE for exploiting his death just to get heat, right? And it's not like there's anyone employed in the company who could possibly be offended by that, right?


Oh, remember how awesome it was last (two!) week(s!) when the Big Show turned on Raw to give Smackdown the Bragging Rights win? Well it turns out it's not because he loves Smackdown, but because he's SELFISH! Yes, Teddy Long offered Show a World Title match at Survivor Series if Smackdown won Bragging Rights. Show's tag partner, Smackdown's Chris Jericho, is not pleased with this. After all, he co-captained Smackdown to the title, he should get a title match.

However, notice how I said "co-captained." That implies someone else may have a legit claim to a title match. Like, other Smackdown captain, KANE! (lolz, srsly).

Well how do you resolve a dispute on earth-53? Mediation? Arbitration? HELL NO! By fighting!

Above: Earth-53 lawsuit

Yes, for one glorious night, snoozefest Chris Jericho retired and our party-host, the paragon of virtue and Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla, returned! Ok, not exactly. But he did bust out some old spots.

Although maybe it should be called the "Sycophantic hypocrite-sault"

Turds

Then he went back to being boring and won the match. Funny how that worked out.

"Yes, I get to job to two injury prone immobile guys before Thanksgiving!"

Keep in mind, for as awesome as this all is, it also involved KANE!, so there's no way we'd be happy at the end of it all. As a service to all our fans, I'm going to give you a post Halloween treat. Afraid you ate too much candy and are getting fat? Take a look at this.

Ok, now go throw up. But then come back at 8/7c and tune to MyNetwork TV to watch Smackdown! Or some other time on hulu!