OH BABY, I like it Raw! Survivor Series

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



Ah yes, the annual test of survival that is "Survivor Series" was last night. Before getting to the results of the evening, allow to make one quick note about last week's Raw. It was hosted by Rowdy Roddy Piper, which despite a couple flubs (of note would be Roddy claiming he'd been in "thousands of car wrecks"), Piper was his old, true self. Good stuff and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Now, on to the goods.

This pay-per-view featured several of the tradional Survivor Series matches, one of those being Team Miz versus Team Morrison. Look guys, I thought we settled all this at "Bragging Rights." There's no need to drag eight other guys into your petty battle over who's more "Jannetty-ish." Morrison, you look like a douche. And Miz, you are one, so that should be that.


Team Miz consisted of Miz, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler. Team Morrison had John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Finlay, Evan Bourne and Shelton Benjamin. Of course, with those guys in the ring, the action would be fast and furious...

Alright Shelton, go ahead and beat your chest once.

And downright dirty at times...

Fellas, in this scene, I want you to give your most dastardly faces.

Of course, things wouldn't be great without some a little civil war.


Team Miz would end up gaining a 3-to-1 advantage, with just John Morrison on the other side of the ring, prompting the Friday Night Delight to pull out some unusual offense.


But Sheamus would be the star of the night, using some old tricks and bringing down the Ab Roller spokesman for the 1-2-3.

The Celtic Cross!

A-Miz-ingly, the Miz was able to put together a winning team with some Smackdown members. I may not like the guy, but that's certainly a testament to his leadership abilities.

Then we had another Suvivor Series match between Team Fakin' Jamaican and Team Hogzilla. Team Kofi would boast the likes of Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth and Christian. If you're thinking this team has little in common, you're wrong: they're all Canadian.

On the other end, it was Randy, C.M. Punk, Ted DiBiase Jr., William Regal and Cody Rhodes.

Look at that Smackdown guy disturbing the peace, as usual...

If you're wondering how the young members of Legacy held up in this contest, this is somewhat telling: Christian eliminated them both.

Cody Rhodes falling victim to the dreaded "Hole Hold."

Eventually, things were whittled down to Kofi versus two former heavyweight champions, C.M. Punk and Randy Orton. Punk would take his shot first.

Perhaps the Straight Edge Superstar should find a straight razor.

Kingston handled that mess easily. It was then on to the Viper, which again, Kofi would manhandle.

And there's so much man to handle.

Team Kofi wins, via the rule of "One heel team and one face team must win."

Finally, it was time for DX versus John Cena for the WWE Championship. Now, in the previous weeks, Trips and HBK have promised a unified front against John Cena, and during the introductions, they delivered on that promise. But at some point, someone's gotta beat somebody, and Shawn said, "Screw it. May as well be me."

Seems like people would stop picking Michaels as a partner.

That was just moments into the match. However, you should know by now, Triple H isn't going to sit out a title match, and sprung back into action, proving that old adage "revenge is a dish best served on an announce table."


Mr. Cena was able to survive the two veterans and managed to perform a move only small children dared to dream - the Attitude Adjustment on top of another person.

Pay attention, son. This is wrestling history you're seeing here today.

Needless to say, Mr. Cena had his choice on who to pin, and he picked Triple H, because why not? So, to the surprise of some young kids who were too stupid to know better, Cena remains your WWE Champion.

Tune in tonight for a special three-hour Raw, hosted by former governor Jesse Ventura! Political discussion to abound! 8/7c on USA!