OH BABY, I like it RAW! the post-Rumble edition

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



Last night was the Royal Rumble, so I won't recap last week's Raw since those story lines doesn't matter anymore! There is one thing you should know from a week ago though...VINCE McMAHON IS BACK!


That's right, Mr. McMahon has come back to his favorite show, Monday Night Raw, the flagship of all things entertainment. First order of business is to get Jericho his job back (we all knew that firing wouldn't stick). He apologized and everything's ok. Now Randy Orton comes out and starts demanding apologies from the McMahons. Well, that doesn't sit well with Vince, since I guess he's a face now, and he's just about to issue those famous words of his when Orton does the sensible thing and slaps him to the ground, then punts him in the head.


That's right, Vince can't last one night, nay ten minutes, without ending up on a stretcher. I guess we'll find out what happened to him tonight, provided his ambulance didn't drive off a cliff or something.

So we get to Rumble, and the first Raw match is for the Women's Championship. I don't really care, because Kelly Kelly is not involved.

Not pictured: reason to watch

Melina won, after Beth Pheonix made Melina kick herself with her own foot. That was entertaining.

Excuse me for five minutes...

The other Raw match was the World Heavyweight Championship match, with Mr. Cena facing JBL. The big story here is what would Shawn Michaels do? Choose between a big paycheck, or his own morality? Let's see!

Anyone know where I can get one of those kick-ass vests?

That's right, he had his cake and ate it too! Shawn put the boot to both of them, but then dragged JBL over for the pin. But he couldn't capitalize and Cena kicked out. All this after the first ref was knocked down and a new one came out, apparently unaware what had transpired previously. Cena ended up winning the match and retaining his title. JBL is Justa Big Loser.

Last, of course, was the Royal Rumble match. I don't feel like breaking down the whole thing, so I'll just offer a few thoughts...

Santino likely made history as the shortest time spent in the Rumble, getting elminated immediately by the Big Red Machine KANE(!). Glad to see him getting a push that he deserves.

Cody Rhodes eliminated his brother Goldust. I bet that led to some awkward family dinner conversation.


Hacksaw made an appearance, and it was every bit as epic as you imagine it would be.

Poetry in motion

Finally, we're left with Triple H and the three members of Legacy...


Naturally, it was a fair fight. Just kidding! They all teamed up on Trips. He managed to elminate two of them, but who was left standing in the end?

One dong to rule them all...

Will Randy get fired after winning the Rumble? I suppose there's only one way to find out! Well, two, since you could also watch live tonight, 9/8c on USA!