R U READY TO DOWN SOME SMACK??? vol. 14

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...





Now I know, the song bit is usually Matt's, but this is a special occasion. That's because Smackdown was in New Jersey last week! Yes sir! Bruuuuuuuuuccccceeeee!!! BRRRRUUUUUCCCCCEEEE!!! "Livin' on a Prayer!"






Wait, I hate all that stuff (except for the Sopranos). And I bet the WWE does too. Let's see how much they phoned this one in just to get the hell out of dodge.

We open up with where we left off last week. Michelle McCool took the week to calm down and felt the need to apologize about her brutal attack on Maria.

Ladies, always check for lumps. LOL, Wresslin' cares about your breasts.

Maria bounces down the ring to accept the apology, cause that's what girlfriends do! Wait, Maria looks a little tanner.

What nice cheeks you have

Who is that? Eve? Who the hell is Eve? Well according to her bio she won the Diva Search a while back. They still have that? Really? Well I guess Michelle felt it best to apologize to Eve for her attack on Maria? That makes no sense and OH NOES!!!

You'd figure the shoe would hurt more...

Oh well, I like a woman in charge.

Also, after weeks of anticipation Kizarny finally debuted! A dirty, smelly, carny felt it best to debut when he felt comfortable, in New Jersey! And who better to have a successful debut against then MVP? That's right! No one!



Welcome to Smackdown, Kizarny! Interesting pin! Apparently the food chain in the locker room places pedophiles above non-handicapped people who park in handicapped spaces.

I think someone over at Smackdown reads this blog, because my little question about the validity of John Morrison and The Miz defending the world tag titles on Smackdown has been answered: they can't. Thus, Festus and Jesse, who were feuding with them, are now in the WWE Tag Title picture. They faced The Brian Kendrick and Ezekiel Jackson in a #1 contenders match! Of course, that's where it ended, because the team of racial harmony beat the two backwater racists.


Finally, GM Vickie Guerrero announced that Edge will take on Jeff Hardy for the WWE title at the Royal Rumble. And she also announced some of the participants! Valdimir Kozlov, Shelton Benjamin, HHH, and the Undertaker will all take place in the Rumble! And HHH was so over joyed that he came out thank Vickie personally! How? By making fun of her weight and announcing that....


Wait...nude Vickie photos?!! On eBay?? Waaaaa!!

ewwwwwwww

Ewwwwwwwww

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Ahhh...much better.

I mean MUCH better!

Well, thank God Smackdown got out of the Garden State! They are surely going to be somewhere better this week. They're in....New Jersey again?? Crap. 8/7c, MyNetwork TV, I guess (channel 9 for you locals.)