OH BABY, I like it RAW! The Return of Matt

Matt and Adam take the brand extension very seriously. They each only identify with one brand and actively follow it. Matt bleeds Raw red and Adam has Smackdown blue coursing through his veins. Being soldiers in the ongoing war for brand supremacy has charged both of them up enough to provide handy recaps of the previous week's show. That way, no new viewers will feel lost. Thus, every Monday and Friday, we here at LOL, Wresslin' will offer you a refresher. Hey, it's the least we can do.

For a theme song to accompany this post, please press play and enjoy...



It's taken me some time to get this column back in order. I had to spend the week cleaning out all the pizza boxes and diet soda cans Adam left stacked up around here like some sort of garbage Jenga game. I hope you enjoyed our little "Twin Swap." I didn't, because I had to watch Smackdown, but perhaps it was enjoyable for you.

So today is MLK Day. I hope your family is nestled warmly at home, putting the final presents under the MLK Day tree, with a warm turkey in the oven, and getting the kids all excited about going out to watch the MLK Day fireworks. But before all that, let's recap what happened last week on Raw.

Stephanie comes down and says she's excited for the Rumble, and blah blah Vince is coming back blah blah blah. Wait a minute...WHAT??! Vince is coming back?! Isn't he dead?

Apparently not, or the Undertaker is woefully inept at his day job, because Mr. McMahon didn't make it in the ground. He's coming to Raw next week (today!)!!! And Jericho seems to think that means he doesn't have to listen to Stephanie anymore. He tells her that.


Jericho demands that he be given the title shot at the Rumble, and he won't wrestle anymore unless there's a title on the line. Stephanie says that's ok, but good luck finding a title IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE!

That's right, she fired him! Jericho is gone!! He was escorted out by security. Maybe that means we can get a whole new set of teaser promos before he returns again.

I still think this meant the Rock and Stone Cold were coming back, but I think that fell through.

Later on, backstage, we see Candice Michelle saying she thought Vince had died. Well, honey, that's two things we agree on...

This being the other.

She was talking to an unconcerned C.M. Punk who was getting ready for his match against William Regal for the IC Title. This one has a stipulation that if Regal gets DQ'd, he loses the belt. Well, what do you know? Regal fakes a low blow and get Punk disqualified, thereby retaining his title again!


So there's going to another match, this time with no DQs at all. I'm sure that will cut out all the shenanigans.

Significant amounts of dumbface in this picture

Kane and Orton fought. Unremarkable match, but it seems that some members of NKOTB are unhappy. Namely Sim Snuka and Manu. Seems they're planning something against Randy. Manu and Snuka come down to meet Orton and Cody Rhodes who are already in the ring, but guess what! They brought back-up in the form of Ted DiBiase, Jr.!! Oh man, this is going to be priceless.

And more dumbface from Sim.

That's right, Teddy Jr. tipped off Orton and Rhodes about the plot, and they teamed up instead. Now THAT'S why they say he's priceless. Oh baby, he's priceless.

Kelly Kelly came out, but her match didn't happen because some chick got jumped outside the ring. No reason to mention it other than to show a photo of her.

oh, did I ever...

Our main event of the night was Shawn Michaels versus Mr. Cena. This was being referred to as "HBK's Wrestlemania." I'm not sure why, since we're still a few months away from Wrestlemania, but alright; we'll roll with it. This was a pretty awesome match, with Michaels finishing off Cena on his own, without the help of JBL who was waiting on the side. Of course, JBL had to come in and take some of the credit.

"See? I can stand over his limp body too!"

Ready to see Vince?? Me too! Will he be a zombie? One can only hope, and find out tonight, 9/8c on USA!