Triple X

America has its share of perversions. Far be it from either of us to cast shame or judge anyone; you might assume that two grown men running an internet blog dedicated to the microscopically small subgroup of professional wrestling comedy are slightly eccentric. We'd be the first ones to agree. But we behave ourselves like normal people in all other areas of life.

However, not everyone is as functionally crazy as we are. Not in America, and certainly not in other countries, because no matter how nuts Americans are, foreigners do it with an accent. We don't get a lot of the day-to-day news from across the pond, and the stuff that does filter across is that special form of weird that could cross the ocean without the aid of trans-Atlantic cables. The kind of stuff that lets us pad our brow with a monogrammed handkerchief and sigh, "At least I haven't done that." Which leads us to the subject of today's entry into the LOL, Wresslin' unread archives.

Allow us to introduce 32-year-old Mark Godsall. He's from Briton Ferry, Neath. That's in the United Kingdom.

Find it yourself.

Mr. Godsall was sentenced to a two-year community and supervision order, which is akin to probation over here, but the British have to act like they invented the English language and use as much of it whenever possible. He also has 120 hours of community service and will be listed as a sex offender for five years.

So what did he do? Mr. Godsall wrote a letter to a couple of sisters, aged four and five years, within which is expressed his desire to have sex with them. He then hand-delived the letter to the house where they lived. Luckily, the two young girls never read it; unluckily, their father did. Naturally, he called the cops (the bobbies?) and here we are today.

Mr. Godsall claimed to not have any sexual intentions, but rather he only meant it as a joke. In this, we feel his pain. We've written plenty of things that no one finds funny (over 130 of them!). They also found that he was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. Aside from sounding like a particularly unappetizing fast food item, Asperger's is characterized by a difficulty in understanding body language or facial expressions, difficulty communicating, and obsession with an item or routine. Makes you think twice about asking for help when your baseball goes over Mr. Godsall's fence.


Alright, so why does this story make it from the pile on the LOL, Wresslin' desk? Because Mr. Goodsall signed the letter "HHH." During a police interview, Mr. Godsall said he was a big fan of professional wrestling and his favorite superstar is Triple H. Puts a whole new spin on that letter.

Company time was spent making this picture.

How did police track the letter to Mr. Godsall in the first place? One would think the fatal flaw in the plan was hand-delivering the letter, but LOL, Wresslin' contends that in fact it was the signature on the note that sealed the case. Chances are the family would not assume a Connecticut blue-blood such as a Hunter Hearst Helmsley would proposition two young girls from somewhere in Wales. So obviously it would be found to be a fake name, and all signs point to the culprit at that point, the only guy on the block that dresses as a barbarian and jams out to "King of Kings."

Mark Godsall. Probably.

He would have been better served using the name William Regal. Or perhaps Finlay. We all know the Irish do crazy things when they're drunk, which is all the time. Maybe even the British Bulldog.

Sure, he's dead now, but check out that smug look. Something's going on.

In any case, the WWE will take their yearly tour of the UK after Wrestlemania 25, so if we were Mr. Godsall, we'd stock up on some sledgehammers for self-defense. We all know Trips is a fine, upstanding citizen.

Er..um...