W.W.W. featuring Giant Gonzalez and Mickie James

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your fat dance video to various wrestling theme ain't gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.

Matt's video to Adam- Giant Gonzalez on King's Court 1993



Here ye! Here ye! All listen for it is the King! King Lawler is bestowing upon us a state of the fiefdom! What news awaits us loyal subjects?

What are you doing Hugo!? Take down that sign that says "LOSER!" The King will see you and will behead you! Think of your sister, Margaret! What will she do without you to provide her with her medicine money!?

Ai, our shirtless King is far too busy regaling us the stories of his conquests. Like for instance, look at this monster he has brought from parts unknown! It is a giant! A Giant Gonzalez! Sounds exotic, no? Look at his muscles and nudity! And that ghastly fur! You're not impressed Mary? Why the bored expression? Our King and Sir Harvey Whipleman have brung about a most ginormous of beasts!

The Giant comes in small packages?! What alchemy is he? Quiet down everyone! Do not cheer that demonic Undertaker! The King and Church will not allow such heresy!

Oh, sweet merciful Lord! The Giant is about to attempt to speak! Can he actually do it?! Is he so civilized to even mimic man, despite his gross size? Egads! He owns the Undertaker! But the Undertaker is no slave! You don't think he means...?

Thank you, oh merciful King for this brief reprieve from our backbreaking work on the land. We shall go back and shepherd sheep for the great feast in honor of your new pet, the might Giant Gonzalez!

Adam's video to Matt - Mickie James on Jenny Jones



Matt's response...

It should be noted first off that YouTube's community has flagged this video as inappropriate. If you're easily offended, I don't know how you found this site, but you can check out now.

So here comes Mickie James to prove to all the guys that used to pick on her for being a root that she's hot now. Well, good. for. you.

Not that these topics have any sort of value whatsoever. It's not like the women in question have become better people because of their new-found good looks. From the looks of it, they're shallow and borderline worthless people. Congratulations! You're getting attention now! Maybe if you had learned to work out, fixed your hair, had plastic surgery and dressed like a slut ten years ago, you'd have had all this popularity in high school when you wanted it.

And that's the stupid thing. I'll get to Mickie in a moment, but the rest of these girls did have some sort of a magic transformation on their own - they're not the ugly duckling which grew into a beautiful swan. No, these women didn't like having Skittles thrown at them, and rather than find some sort of deep inner strength and write those experiences off as being the acts of juvenile youths, they went and got implants (NOTHING wrong with that) and started dressing like a featured dancer (nothing wrong with that either). This isn't a triumph of the will; this is a victory for narcissism.

As far as Mickie is concerned, let's set the record straight on one thing. This was in 2000. At that time, she was working independent shows for Maryland Championship Wrestling, and was also a waitress at Olive Garden.

Hurrican-roni!

So, yes, technically she's a professional wrestler, but let's cool our jets a little bit, Jenny, before we start saying "WWF-style."

Now, Mickie seems to have accomplished this make-over on her own, having no enhancements at the time (I don't think that would hold up today). For that, I can salute her. It seems like the best thing to do is come out and display your class and decency.

Good to know that jjthevidfan would, indeed, hit that.

Well, you came close, honey.

I certainly didn't expect much more from Ms. James. After all, she is one of the few Divas to have done porn before joining the WWE. Funny that both of the dudes were like, "Psssh, nah" to her. It may have been an act, but good for them for standing their ground.

Of course the Internet has enjoyed this jewel, most of them telling us they would eat this or put Arby's sauce on that (I'm SO down with that, by the way) or how she probably hooked up with the dudes anyway. And Mudknot105 would like us all to quit judging people. Way to be a positive role model, pal.

In the end, I guess it's kind of refreshing seeing this sort of stuff. Just goes to show that fans can make it big in the business too and not just those who seem to spring up out of nowhere perfectly formed to be a Diva. Put it's also proof that you can take the girl out of Virginia, but she's still going to make it on Jenny Jones at some point.