So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.
Better at naming stuff than us. The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your ultimate tribute to Raven (even the special "dark version") ain't gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day. After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Matt's video to Adam- Pacman Jones and The Truth Team Up
Genius Matt gave me a video that can't be embedded. Click here to watch!
Adam's response...
There's no point in hiding the big surprise that happens right through here. The title spoils it, and since TNAWrestling posted the video, we can assume that they aren't much for suspense. Suspended NFL "star" Adam "Pacman" Jones (cute, Matt) had signed with TNA wrestling during his NFL sabbatical and made his debut with the company the previous Sunday at Hard Justice. Of course, what prompted this suspension? Steroids? Nope. Attacking a ref (which would put him right at home in professional wrestling)? Nah. He was involved in the shooting of a strip club bouncer.
Naturally, a real stand up citizen like this is someone you want to be affiliated with. He can only bring positive attention! Look at the USA Today article (which clearly looks like it's been placed above the fold) or the in depth analysis Sports Illustrated did or that Chicago Sun-Times header! All good news for Total Nonstop Action!
But of course, it don't amount to nothin' until we hear the real story from the horse's mouth. You see, Pacman was jumped on Sunday and wheeled out on a stretcher. Who knows who did it? Pacman has one idea (Ron Killings who know wrestles as R-Truth for Smackdown), so please hush, and listen to the mush mouth drivel that comes out.
"Where I'm from we don't play it like that. Face to face. Man to man."- well that would be Atlanta, GA. Home of the WCW. Well, I seem to remember the nWo ganging up on people and jumping them all the time, so already we're off to a bad start, Pac.
"If you ain't gonna bring it, don't sing it." Well that rhymes and is an ironic statement considering how Ron "The Truth" Killings is a musician when he's not wrestling. And as if this was all preplanned, the song "What's Up?" plays and out dances The Truth as he screams "What's up?!" to the crowd. Pacman, eager as any fan, replies back with a "What's up!?" This is where the entire segment falls apart. Seriously. Firstly, Killings comes out to cut a serious promo, but is doing a song and dance routine before hand. Also, as the title suggests, he turns heel. So why is he pandering the crowd? Then Pacman, overheated with the excitement of the moment, takes off his shirt. Don't get me wrong, he's in sick shape, but not for a pro wrestler. He looks tiny compared to Mike Tenay, let alone The Truth!
So puny without your bodyguards and guns, Adam.Anyway, now it's time for Ron to speak the truth!
He's eating Fozzy Bear"So I did my own research on Adam Jones." Really? Thanks truth! That's very sweet of yo-oh. Pacman. Argh! He has besmirched my good name again!
Doesn't matter anyway. Everything Ron said didn't apply to me anyway.
Once again, the greatest team sport athlete ever grabs the stick and captivates us with his scintillating speech patterns.
"And I had to go to the e-mer-gen-see-room."
Why the staccato Adam? Seriously? It almost sounds like you had trouble saying that line in rehearsal, but...this isn't rehearsed...right? Right?
As stated above, Killings turns heel, starts a tag team with Jones, and the two walk off to punch Showtime Eric Young in the back. That was the most heelish thing they did because other then that they mug to the crowd and do face like things even though they are meant to garner heat. Seriously, it's dumb.
Sometimes I defend TNA. Seriously. I'd like it to be good. And my personality is more in line with underdogs then big time programs. But this is just bad. It makes me embarrassed for anyone in the company. Here's what Pacman Jones did in his four months in TNA:
- Never did anything physical, per his real contract.
- Won the TNA Tag Title despite not wrestling (beat Kurt Angle and Sting)
- Would "make it rain" after winning matches, a recreation of his behavior that led to the bouncer getting shot.
Oh well, if there's one silver lining, it's that this put Pacman Jones in a relationship with SpikeTV, so he is now on Pros vs Joes!
Sort of relevant.Adam's video to Matt - Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling "Rowdy Roddy reforms"
Matt's response...
The following is a transcript of a pre-production meeting for Hulk Hogan's Rock 'n' Wrestling cartoon series. Held in the offices of DiC Entertainment on October 5th, 1986.
Producer: Alright guys, we're a week away from air, and we still need the second half of the next show. We've already got "My Fair Wrestler" in the can.
Writer #1: I love that one! Captain Lou speaking to Parliament. Genius!
Producer: Yeah, but I was wondering if we played up enough racial stereotypes with Junkyard in that...
Writer #2: I don't think so, but we'll make it up later.
Producer: Sounds good. So, any ideas for this one?
Writer #2: There's been an idea I've been kicking around in my head. What if we make Roddy Piper a good guy? But just for a bit.
Writer #1: Eh...I don't know about that. Sounds a little...zany.
Producer: Which is EXACTLY what I love about! Tell me, will there be antics?
Writer #2: Of course.
Producer: And whistle sound effects?
Writer #2: Naturally. When are there not?
Writer #1: Well, we have fallen off a bit on those...
Producer: Be sure and work some in. Even when nothing happens. Ok, so how does Piper reform?
Writer #1: Hey, that's a great title!
Writer #2: I was thinking maybe a court order.
Producer: Can the judge look like Gorilla Monsoon?
Writer #2: Why not?
Writer #1: Piper should try to bribe him with wrestling tickets.
Writer #2: The judge?
Writer #1: Yeah, to get out of punishment.
Writer #2: Why would Gorilla Monsoon need wrestling tickets?
Writer #1: Well, he only looks like Gorilla Monsoon. And it doesn't work, because the judge just gets mad and throws them out of court.
Producer: Great. Let's make sure to have the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff act like buffoons in the court room. And they have to be cross-eyed.
Writer #2: Why?
Producer: They're foreign?
Writer #2: Good enough for me. "Justice..PHOOEY!"
All laugh hysterically. Five minutes pass.
Producer: Ok...ok. Whew. Ok, so Rowdy Roddy Piper-
Writer #1: Starscream?
Writer #2: I thought he was Cobra Commander.
Producer: No, no, it's Roddy Piper.
Writer #1: Well, he sounds...
Producer: I don't care what he sounds like. We've been over this before. As long as he's wearing a kilt, kids are going to know who he is. So how does Hogan fit into all this?
Writer #2: You mean the brother from Everybody Loves Raymond?
Producer: What?
Writer #2: Uh...nevermind. Ok, here's the deal. Hogan and Piper are driving side by side and they get into an argument, which causes Piper to take his eyes off the road and crash into a police car.
Writer #1: They should be arguing about music. For instance, Piper likes listening to boring classical music and Hogan listens to the Rocky theme all day.
Producer: Great! Can Piper cause Hogan's radio to change by flinging his windshield wiper onto Hogan's antenna?
Writer #1: How would that work?
Producer: Doesn't matter, just write it down.
Writer #1: ...ok...
Writer #2: Hey, when Piper crashes into the police car, Hogan should say, "I know how you like getting people from behind!"
Writer #1: Hahaha, inferring he's homosexual! I love it! Oh, and after the judge tells him he should relax, Piper says, "I am relaxed!" and then he growls!
Writer #2: Because he's so NOT relaxed! That's rad...we're rolling now!
Producer: Mean Gene should be in the police car when Piper gets tossed in. We can put him in prison stripes.
Writer #1: Why would he be wearing stripes if he were still in the police car?
Producer: Because he'd look funny. And a bow tie.
Writer #2: A bow tie with his prison outift? Why?
Producer: Situational irony?
Writer #2: I get it! I'll put that down. What else?
Writer #1: How do we get Roddy to change his attitude?
Writer #2: Hypnosis.
Writer #1: Ok...how does that work?
Writer #2: Uh...magic, I think. You just tell someone what you want them to do, and they do it. But you have to talk like a ghost and wave your fingers in front of their face to make it count.
Writer #1: Alright. And when he's nice, he tries to do all sorts of crazy things like plant flowers and say he's going to return the Iron Sheik's jeep to the dealer.
Writer #2: That came from a dealer? What kind of dealer would sell a huge jeep with spiked tires and a head scarf on it?
Producer: Doesn't matter. We're in a time crunch. No bad ideas here.
Writer #2: Alright. Well, at some point, he has to change back, and we'll need Hogan to do that because he's the only one that can piss Piper off enough to break the hypnosis.
Writer #1: Yeah! But this is where we turn the audience on their heads, because that seems like it should work, but it totally doesn't! They all go over to Hogan's pad to pick a fight. First, they ram his car.
Producer: And he runs out saying, "Who's the bimbo that hit my Hulkmobile?" He assumes it's a woman because he's a male chauvinist.
Writer #2: He is?
Producer: Obviously.
Writer #2: Ok, so Roddy offers to pay for the damage. And then they steal a barbell from Hogan and throw it through the wall of his place.
Writer #1: And Hogan demands a new barbell.
Writer #2: I think the barbell would be fine. He wouldn't ask for a new wall?
Producer: Move on. I like it how it is. One question: When the barbell gets thrown through the wall...whistle sound effect?
Writer #1: Naturally. Since Hogan can't make Roddy mean again, what does?
Writer #2: What are the cool kids into these days?
Producer: Rock 'n' roll?
Writer #1: Perfect. There you go.
Producer: I love it. Another hit. Get the lines together and I'll get them over to Snarf and Puddy.
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