What is this? What the hell is this? Smackdown has more matches on a PPV then Raw and ECW combined??? How can this be? I always thought that Friday night was the best kept secret in the WWE Universe, but apparently not anymore. So, since you demanded it, here's a lot of Smackdown PPV action!
To open up the show, we had Mr. Money in the Bank, CM Punk, taking on the Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga!
This should be no contest. Seriously, CM Punk is the defacto #1 contender and Umaga is the fattest fat that ever fattted. Umaga is coming back from injury and is rusty, Punk is at the top of his game, this shouldn't even be on PPV. Plus, add in the fact that this show is in Chicago, Punk's hometown! It's not like WWE would ever embarrass one of their top talents in his hometown.
Errr...umm
Ok, so the match pretty much went like this.
Jake Peavy nixxed that trade, by the way.Also on the undercard was the culmination of the storied three week feud Shelton Benjamin and John Morrison warred. But Shelton didn't come alone. No sir, he brought his old running buddy, Charlie Haas with him! And the team was a symbol of racial harmony!
Black guy wearing yellow, white guy wearing red. Hmm..seems all races are covered.
I know, can you believe it? Charlie haas gotten himself a PPV payday. Unfortunately, that was about all the good news for The World's Greatest Tag Team, as Shaman of Sexy damn near killed himself doing this corkscrew move. Ordinarily, that would lead the doctor calling the match in favor of Shelton, but this is WWE, so somehow the impact hurt Morrison more. And he won, Lord did he win.
Yea, you're going to have neck surgery one day.What that you say? You want titles? Smackdown's got those too! Star of the show, Chris Jericho (rhymes!) challenged height challenged Intercontinental champion Rey Mysterio. Rey is a one time Intercontinental champion, which puts him only one reign behind Santino Marella and Val Venis in the title's prestigious history! Still, I suppose he needs to lose the title before he can go on a second reign, so I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Anyway, Rey wore a stupid shirt.
Naturally, this match should be another no contest, as Chris Jericho is smarter, better looking, stronger, and just better all around then Rey Mysterio. I mean, he takes bigger craps then Rey Mysterio, that's how tough he is!
He popped a squat just to prove that fact.Still, it wouldn't be a Rey Mysterio match if the tenacious underdog didn't somehow pull it out. And although Jericho was mostly successfully at blocking the 619, he forgot that Rey does have some other moves.
This made Randy "The Ram" very happy.And in the main event, the show closer, Jeff Hardy took on Edge for what must be the millionth time for a title. This time it happened to be the World Heavyweight Title, but whatever. Just know that Jeff was a mess and probably will be taking some time off in the next few months.
"Guess what? I'm weird..I mean a free spirit!"Anyway, these two added a few wrinkles into their epic, grandiose rivalry. For example, Jeff Hardy put the Sharpshooter onto Edge! Because Edge is Canadian!
And then, they decided to get all exxxtreme on us, and fight in the crowd!
You'd figure the fans would be a little concerned for their saftey..Still, that was not to be, because our fan of the night decided to hit Jeff in the face with his cast. It's hard to see him, but he's there.
It could have been a hallucination, though.Regardless, that was all that was needed because Edge went on to successfully defend that title.
Now let me get at dem millions...Yup, so that happened.
PPV over, let's get ready for the next three week build! Tonight, 8/7c on MyNetwork TV!
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