So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.
Better at naming stuff than us. The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your compilation of favorite Macho Man entrances ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.
After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Adam's video to Matt - WWE visits IGN
Matt's response...
"Who watches TV on the internet?" - Zack Ryder
That pretty much sums up this entire video. Are you really going to watch this thing? It's fifteen minutes. You can if you want, but since I already have made that sacrifice, I'm going to break it down very simply for you: Adam somehow found a video that features two people I hate more than the Miz.
How is that possible? As the number one purveyor of Miz hatred on the internet, I didn't think I could hate anyone as much as I hate him and his faux hat and his stupid hats. But I do. These two wastes that "host" this "show" have got to be the most unentertaining duo since Uday and Qusay Hussein, and we all know what happened to them.
I'll give you the positives first: John Morrison. I'll be honest here and say I never gave that dude much time, especially since he teamed up with the asshat Miz. But I actually enjoyed him in this segment. He's obviously a decent talker, he keeps the conversation moving, and he has a good amount of bits that he runs through during the "show." The dude even does what the audience probably started doing and messes with his cell phone in the middle of the "interview." I came away from this a legitimate John Morrison appreciator, so that's something.
But that's not nearly enough to save this pile of garbage from being anything other than complete and total fail. Let's first rank everyone on how much I like them. At the top are Morrison and Jessica Chobot, but she only gets by because she's kinda pretty. In reality, she seems really annoying and doesn't have anything useful to add, which puts her about on par with everyone else on set. But she still sits solidly in second behind the Tuesday Night Delight (or whatever he's calling himself now).
Yeah, I guess you can call me. But don't ruin it with your personality.Here's where things get dicey. All huddled at the bottom are the Miz, Gruesome Greggy, El Gringo Primo, and making a special fail cameo, their floor director. Since he doesn't have a speaking part, I'll put Mr. Floor Director in third, as his only contribution is to hold up his hands to stop an impending "fight" on "set." I've never seen anyone less thrilled with their job than he was, and I've worked at a video rental store.
We'll put Gruesome Greggy at fourth, just because I can't quite hate him as much as the Miz, even though he does him damnedest to make me. Seriously, look at this douchebag:
His standard expression.Oh, I get it. The homemade shirt and the sport coat are supposed to be ironic, huh? Ok. Man, this guys SUCKS. He has no clue how to run an interview, has nothing to endear himself to the audience whatsoever, and generally spends his time being a complete tool. Look dude, if you're going to be a typical gamer dickhead, and have total disdain for people at gaming conferences who can't talk pixels with you, quit "hosting" the "show." It's obvious the guy thinks Miz and Morrison don't know jack about games, and to an extent he's right, but the dudes are just there promoting the thing, so quit acting like you have more fans than they do, because somehow you don't.
In fifth is the Miz, and I've probably said all I need to say about that dude.
But definitely in last is El Gringo Primo, one of the worst bits of failed comedy I've ever seen in my life. Epic Movie got it more right than this guy. Here's his idea of a great character: a fat luchador who speaks in grunts. Get it??
Oh, you don't? Maybe this will help.
Put your goddamn hand down.I don't know if this is this dude's regular bit, because I'd rather be caught masturbating to hentai than watching another episode of LiveWire, but even if it's just for now, it's got to be one of the worst ideas anyone has ever had. He has a face that you just want to punch, and you can't even see his face!
Now, as far as the purpose of this little visit, I assume it's to sell us on Smackdown vs. Raw 2009, but I can't say for sure since they barely talk about it. There is no way if I were on the fence about buying that game that this segment would make me want to get it. So if that's what you were trying to do, you failed at it.
Maybe it was to sell me on the Great American Bash. Well, telling me about your tag match against a bunch of people I couldn't care less about doesn't work either, so you failed at that too.
Or perhaps just to go and read IGN and watch more of their coverage of E3. FAIL.
These guys did absolutely nothing right. And that's impressive for a fifteen minute segment. You'd think at some point they'd hit something remotely close to passable, but they don't even wander anywhere near that neighborhood. Congratulations, gentlemen. You've made the worst video on YouTube.
Get bent.
Matt's Video to Adam- Ravishing Rick Rude Training for Summerslam 1990
Adam's response...
Oh me oh my! Is this Christmas? Have I been a good boy!? Two Warrior related training videos in just a few weeks! I can't explain how awesome this is. Seriously, after this video, well I'm pretty much like this.
Thank you Rick and Warrior. Although you two may be bitter rivals and have a match at Summerslam 1990, I'm grateful you two came together to change my life. However, that doesn't mean this entire video is flawless. I'm looking at you, Heenan.
First off, you're a fat. A major league fat. Why are you training the Ravishing one? What form of mental trickery did "The Brain" play on Mr. Rude? You're not fit to train a dog, let alone the only man who ever beat The Ultimate Warrior for a title!
Yea, take that junk in the face...Second off, why so many locales to train Rick? This camera crew are all union! You're costing your client, Mr. Rude, more and more money when they could have cut this little training video in under an hour. But noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, you had to go for a dusk light stroll along Venice Beach because it reminds you of your favorite song! Seriously Brain, stop thinking about only yourself and maybe the Heenan family will win a GD world title.
Oh, and don't think I forgot about you:
Click to embiggen
RickModelMartel. Now, I think it's great you started up a Youtube channel and posted some older stuff from your era. I'm glad that you have become a defacto historian of the WWF, but seriously, why the Ultimate Warrior Photo? Why would you ever promote that bicycle streamer wearing lunatic? Don't you remember the countless gorilla press slams all around North America? Or what about the time he threatened to "get you in your nightmares"? Why would you ever promote this man, especially when you are promoting his 1990 Summerslam opponent!?
Am I the only one who gets it!?
1 comment:
Matt, we might disagree on most things, but we are united in our hatred of The Miz. Watching him is like being repeatedly poked in the eye for an hour. Make it stop, make it stop!
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