W.W.W. featuring Holiday Hell 1995 and Stone Cold Steve Austin/John Cena

On Wednesdays, we here at LOL, Wresslin' like to really pull out the stops and offer up a double shot of righteously killer content. Why Wednesday? Well, we could impress you with market research, work habit studies, and human psychology tendencies to show you there's a scientific reason the middle of the week is the best time to bring your A-game. However, truth be told, we don't have any of that stuff and settled on Wednesday because that was the only day that didn't have any content scheduled.

So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.

Better at naming stuff than us.

The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your ridiculous "Choose It!" series ain't going to fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.

After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.


Adam's video to Matt - Stone Cold "Steve Austin" Stuns Cena



Matt's response...

Let me point one thing out before I get started. To "TripleHUSA" who posted this video (and curiously uses a picture of Steve Austin as his YouTube avatar), "Stone Cold" is not the man's real name. Steve Austin is. Therefore, the quotes are in the wrong place, you moron. Ok, now I can continue...

Yet more proof that it's ridiculous for the WWE to expect us to give a crap about John Cena versus the Big Show in 2009. This was back in December of '03, and I'd venture a bet that the match was about the same as it is today, only Cena didn't pick up Big Show very much back in those days, because that was "impossible." But that's not what really bugs me about this.

Here we have, on a night where Stone Cold has already dressed up like Santa Claus and stunned Vince McMahon, Austin stunning John Cena. Why? I suppose deep down it doesn't matter, but it should. Why is Austin allowed to run roughshod around the WWE, stunning anyone he chooses? Why doesn't the U.S. military intervene in this human rights violation? This is what our freedom has bought us? A wild man set loose on the world, with no sense of right and wrong, only a sense of a standing or left paralyzed on the ground? Really troops, you should be ashamed of yourselves for cheering this.

Michael Cole unfortunately boils down Cena's match against the Big Show to this grossly-overstated simile - "Just like the U.S. troops laid the smackdown on Saddam Hussein, Cena laid the smackdown on the Big Show!" I'll leave that one alone, because I think you determine for yourself how silly that sounded. But is Big Show really the one acting like Hussein around here? How are Big Show and John Cena anything but hapless victims of a tyrant using brute force and scare tactics to keep those around him in check? Sorry Austin, but this land is free now, and you're going to have to take your third-world barbarism somewhere else. Preferably Iran.

If he stuns one more person, the terrorists have already won.

And it's clear you people don't get it. "hxhb" has left the only comment on this video, and it merely says "John Cena sucks Stone cold rullez =D." Well, that's just wonderful. Listen hxhb, if you don't have respect for the rule of law and the fair implementation of a government ruled by the people, well you can just GET OUT.

There is one thing I like about this video, and that's John Cena's original music. So much better, in my opinion. Kudos to the Miz for pulling that out last Monday night; that's the one thing you've done right in your life.

And what an unfortunate time for the Big Show to stand up. Really poor timing on your part, buddy.

Matt's Video to Adam- Holiday Hell 95



Adam's response...



Welcome everyone, to Extreme Championship Wrestling's New York City debut! Right here in Queen's, NY!

Errr...ummm

Here is Joey Styles and he's about to tell us about all the raucous action the ECW faithful can expect here at some Elks lodge in the middle of Queens when all of sudden he's interrupted by Stevie Richards and The Blue Meanie! Horror of horrors! Not those two! Because when I think of ruining a segment, I think of those two. Regardless, Stevie gets some heel heat just by dressing kind of gay and then having the audacity of insulting the audience. You know, they must all be queens if they live in Queens (wocka wocka!) And look at this guy! He's a transvestite! And that other one has to be the other kind of tranny (no, not Missy Hyatt. I'll get to her later)! You know (tm), because only degenerate neighborhoods have those weirdos. Regardless, I can't verify Stevie's claims, because the camera decided to keep it on the Daisy Duke himself. Which makes sense, because it's not like I'd want to see those people anyway.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, "How could Joey Styles have found Missy Hyatt when she was in the third row and the corner. This was obviously pre planned." Not true. When at an ECW show in 1995, ANY girl would stick out, let alone one who was, at that point in time, only moderately jacked up.

Missy then

Missy now (I can't tell which one, but she's there)

Ever the charmer, Mr. Richards decided to impress Miss Missy by telling her about all the letters he used to write her (insinuating that he's jerked off a bunch to her image), because that's totally not creepy, and making a lady feel old is the best form of courtship. He then comes up with a whimsical euphemism for his erection. A good laugh had by all, especially the fair Miss Hyatt. And although the prospect of coitus with Stevie Richards (and presumably, Meanie watching) is laughable, the prospect of dating Raven is not. Yes, that shut her hole up good.


SIDE NOTE: Using the finest research tools at my disposal, I was able to learn that Missy Hyatt has in fact, fellated Raven before. Out (or in) of her own mouth!

Seriously though, I wonder if that technique would still work today? I bet I could get most girls a date with Raven. He a'int doin' shit. His tweets prove it!

And after a long, passionate make out session with Stevie, Missy instructs him to "Give that to Raven." God I hope he did....