Hulk Hogan's CCW: Week 1

The first week HAAS come and gone for Hulk Hogan's new reality show on CMT (we remember a time when my Country Music Television actually showed country music videos, damn it!), Celebrity Championship Wrestling. If you need a reminder of what the show is about, check here. It has a rather unique premise: ten competitors split into two teams. Each team is trained by a professional, and at the end of the show, they compete in front of judges and a live crowd. We don't think there's ever seen a show like this before.

Err, uh...

The two teams are:

TEAM NASTY

Erin Murphy, Nikki Ziering, Dennis Rodman, Frank Stallone, and Dustin Diamond. Trainer is "Nasty Boy" Brian Knobbs.

TEAM BEEFCAKE

Tiffany, Trishelle Cannatella, Butterbean, Danny Bonaduce, and Todd Bridges. Trainer is Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake.

Really, what is there to recap? They introduced all the contestants. Bonaduce said he was willing to do things they won't show on television. We believe him. Nikki said, "I wish I could say I was a fan of wrestling, but I've never watched it." Seriously? If you really wish you could say that, it's not difficult to watch wrestling. All you have to do is watch it. It's not like she said, "I wish I could say I've climbed Mount Everest, but I've never tried." That's reasonable. That'd be a cool thing to wish for, but it's very hard. You gotta get to Nepal, and have guides and gear. If you wish to watch wrestling, all you have to find is USA or myNetworkTV (ok, that may be as difficult as finding Mount Everest).


The judges came out to tell them how hard the contest will be. That is to say, Eric Bischoff said all that; Jimmy Hart just stood there looking slick. Hulk Hogan came out and showed off the CCW Championship Belt that the winner will recieve. Awesome. They can show that off to their apartment roommates or use it as collateral with their landlord.

We, of course, believe in giving credit where credit is due, so here's the good: Bonaduce and Diamond. These two missed their calling. Both played heels in their respective match, and both sold it well.

As for the bad? Everything else. It's obvious where they were going from the start: most of the celebrities(?) didn't want to be there, they can't take a bump, and the girls are whiners (except for Trishelle, who spent a lot of time in tight sweats on all fours with her ass always facing the camera. Call?) The training and the drama are generic at best. The matches were ok for what they were, but could hardly be called entertaining. Nothing surprising about any of that.

So, the team that puts on the crappier match loses a teammate. The judges have the hardest job in this whole thing. They decided that Team Beefcake wasn't up to snuff, and Tiffany was eliminated. See ya, hun! I think you're alone now.

Tune in tonight, 8/7c on CMT to view the continued failure.