So, here you have "Watch Wresslin' Wednesdays." Please feel free to suggest a better title, because we are woefully uncreative when it comes to naming stuff.
Better at naming stuff than us.
The idea of W.W.W. is we each send the other a video that is related to wrestling (a match, promo, interview, guest starring spot, etc.). The only restriction is that it cannot be user-created, so your tribute to Ric Flair's retirement set to Green Day's "Good Riddance" ain't gonna fly here, pal. Neither of us know what kind of video we're going to get that day.
After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Matt's response...
Wow. I want some of this.
No, not the cologne. Well, maybe, but I’ll get to that later. No, I mean these commercials. What ever happened to this kind of stuff? The camp, the silliness, the sheer over-the-top character traits. Why are we not treated to entertainment like this anymore?
I’m not saying it was the high point in comedy, but I do miss the slightly cartoonish nature of 80s wrestling (speaking of, where are my WWE Saturday morning cartoons?) Fake ads like these, the Mr. Perfect vignettes, or profiling the wrestlers’ work-out routines, which usually involved lifting any number of things that you’d likely not find in your regular gym. Even that famous D-X press conference. WWE fans aren’t treated to these simple yet effective character building segments. Everything is either carried out in the ring, which is fine if you’re at the show, or backstage, where it seems not to provide anything different other than a change of venue.
The main thing I really liked about Michaels vs. Hogan at SummerSlam was the build-up (ok, I guess that is probably the second-best thing I liked, because check out this video) If you remember, Shawn had a few of these pre-produced segments ripping on Hogan, and they felt so old-school. A breath of fresh air. Fresh, old air. I suggest you follow the link on the Rick Martel video and check out some of the other things this guy has posted. He has a lot of these.
Now, as far as “Arrogance” cologne goes…anything that can make two women (as Ric Flair would say, “The finest women in the world today”) materialize at your knees, I’m buying a truckload of that stuff. Although, from the descriptions of its effects, it sounds like “Arrogance” may legally qualify as some sort of date rape drug. I never saw him put any of it on. However, he is Rick Martel, so he probably doesn’t need it. Or maybe it’s because the stuff is packaged in that unwieldy, Looney Toons-esque bug sprayer.
But I know why they put it in that thing. Just look at it. The long shaft. The ball at the end. That’s simple: it’s a lever! You know, for all the leverage you’ll have over women.
It also sort of looks like a penis. And if that’s the case, then maybe we don’t need more of these commercials after all. Do we, Randy Orton?
Matt's Video to Adam - Mr. Perfect and the Genius on Brother Love
After viewing, we each write a response. This could be anything we choose: a straight commentary, a philosophical enlightenment, or classless ridicule. Just as we don't know what kind of video the other will select, neither do we know what the other will write or how they will write it. What you end up with is a mash-up of styles, which in our book equates to two-blogs-in-one, and we can take the rest of the day off.
Matt's response...
Wow. I want some of this.
No, not the cologne. Well, maybe, but I’ll get to that later. No, I mean these commercials. What ever happened to this kind of stuff? The camp, the silliness, the sheer over-the-top character traits. Why are we not treated to entertainment like this anymore?
I’m not saying it was the high point in comedy, but I do miss the slightly cartoonish nature of 80s wrestling (speaking of, where are my WWE Saturday morning cartoons?) Fake ads like these, the Mr. Perfect vignettes, or profiling the wrestlers’ work-out routines, which usually involved lifting any number of things that you’d likely not find in your regular gym. Even that famous D-X press conference. WWE fans aren’t treated to these simple yet effective character building segments. Everything is either carried out in the ring, which is fine if you’re at the show, or backstage, where it seems not to provide anything different other than a change of venue.
The main thing I really liked about Michaels vs. Hogan at SummerSlam was the build-up (ok, I guess that is probably the second-best thing I liked, because check out this video) If you remember, Shawn had a few of these pre-produced segments ripping on Hogan, and they felt so old-school. A breath of fresh air. Fresh, old air. I suggest you follow the link on the Rick Martel video and check out some of the other things this guy has posted. He has a lot of these.
Now, as far as “Arrogance” cologne goes…anything that can make two women (as Ric Flair would say, “The finest women in the world today”) materialize at your knees, I’m buying a truckload of that stuff. Although, from the descriptions of its effects, it sounds like “Arrogance” may legally qualify as some sort of date rape drug. I never saw him put any of it on. However, he is Rick Martel, so he probably doesn’t need it. Or maybe it’s because the stuff is packaged in that unwieldy, Looney Toons-esque bug sprayer.
But I know why they put it in that thing. Just look at it. The long shaft. The ball at the end. That’s simple: it’s a lever! You know, for all the leverage you’ll have over women.
It also sort of looks like a penis. And if that’s the case, then maybe we don’t need more of these commercials after all. Do we, Randy Orton?
Matt's Video to Adam - Mr. Perfect and the Genius on Brother LoveAdam's response...
Back in the 1980’s, the WWE was pretty much a living cartoon. Characters were one dimensional. They were motivated purely by the most basic of motivations. The Ultimate Warrior wanted to ultimately war. The Million Dollar Man wanted to let you know that, he in fact, had a million dollars and you probably didn’t. And of course, Mr. Perfect wanted to assert his masculinity while also never faltering, even once. This is where we come in.
Brother Love’s talk show segment gave various wrestlers a chance to explain their one dimensional motivations. We open with a raucous crowd, ready to boo the villainous preacher. I’m not sure if it’s out of hatred or boredom. One would think that if they were bored they’d probably just leave. But that being said, I’m stunned by how loud and long this crowd (which appears to be in a TV studio and rather small), can boo so consistently and audibly. Regardless, Brother Love is delighted to have The Genius as his guest. We know he’s a genius because he’s wearing a robe and mortarboard. Clearly, to the WWF audience, having graduated high school makes you an elitist smarty-pants worthy of disapproval. The Genius thanks Brother Love for the “euphoric” introduction. Now, I’m not sure how an introduction can be elated, but I suppose The Genius could feel euphoric after the introduction.
Regardless, The Genius is a man of obtuse, but few words. He is not here to talk about himself, or why professional wrestling could benefit from a man of his intelligence. No, the noble and humble Genius only wants to put over Mr. Perfect. He eloquently speaks in analogy, so us, the simple folk, can understand why Mr. Perfect is worthy of our adulation. Please pay attention.
As Romulus and Remus are to Rome, Mr. Perfect is to professional wrestling.
Uhhh…what?
I can’t process this. I must be too dumb! I mean, here we have this Genius, talkin’ ‘bout Italian Mythology! The Odyssey and shit! Duuuuuu…he reminds me how miserable my own life is. BOOOOOOO!!! HEEL!!!! I’m going to go back to being fat and stupid.
Ok, seriously. That analogy makes no sense. Did Mr. Perfect, according to legend, establish professional wrestling? Well, we know that’s not true. He’s only just entered the WWF! Even I can remember a few years ago when Hulk Hogan slammed Andre the Giant (brother!). Did Mr. Perfect have a twin brother who he was raised with by a wolf, then he slew in order to serve as first king of pro wrestling? Possibly. That’d be a great gimmick. Oh, I got it! Mr. Perfect raped 700 Sabine women. That’s what The Genius meant.
Also, The Genius had to read who he was introducing off a piece of paper, like he was presenting at a national paper clip conference and Mr. Perfect was the regional sales manager for Illinois.
After that head scratcher all our prayers have been answered, and the Sistine Chapel of wrestling blesses us with his perfection. His music is epic, moving, and captivating. However, it’s not the iconic Mr. Perfect music we all remember. It still works…but it’s not right. Glad to see Jim Johnston got on that.
Mr. Perfect comes out, and in true pro wrestling fashion opens his speech with “Everyone knows….” There really should be no reason to talk after that. He’s being redundant. This should be just an absolute truth. Still, Mr. Perfect, knowing the crowd he’s talking to, continues on. He lists various irrelevant facts that really don’t pertain to wrestling. He shoots under par every time he golfs (although wouldn’t a hole in one every time be perfect?), he swishes a shot anywhere on the court, which I guess is pretty amazing. Then he simply calls out Hulk Hogan, explains how the Hulkster is not, in fact perfect, and claims we’ll be calling him champion soon enough. The Genius stands around like a schlub the entire time, not knowing that you still are acting, even if you’re not “acting.”
It’s always stricken me as odd that Mr. Perfect is essentially a 1960’s Batman villain. Everything he says is just a way for him to say “perfect.” Catwoman even used to say “purrrrrrrrr-fect” which is more of a coincidence then anything. I honestly can just imagine Mr. Perfect having the Dynamic Duo trapped in his “perfect trap” which consists of sunlight bouncing off some rare “perfect ruby” he stole from the Gotham Museum of Gemstones, and somehow burning Batman and Robin alive. Of course, they somehow get out and then Batman teaches some valuable life lesson by saying “Even the quest for perfection needs to find imperfection to truly be complete” or something equally banal.
Also, I don’t get Brother Love’s character. Is the red make up supposed to make him look like the Devil, despite his preacher’s appearance? If he is supposed the be the Devil, he’s rather inept.
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